Gay Dad Life
Gay men hoping to become dads have more options today than ever before to make that dream a reality. Regardless of your chosen path to fatherhood, start here for resources, tips, and how-to guides to help gay dads-to-be navigate the journey
Every gay dad has an inspiring story to tell. Read on for incredible examples of gay men and their families living out and proud all across the globe.
LGBTQ families are have made incredible progress in recent years, but there is still much more work to be done. Read on for news and inspiring stories about LGBTQ families fighting for equality.
Gay men wanting to adopt have more options than ever, but challenges persist. See below for tips on navigating the adoption process.
Surrogacy provides gay men with a biological connection to their child, but the process is complex. These tips help navigate a surrogacy journey.
Read through the resources below for tips on how gay dads can best navigate the foster care system.
Co-parenting can be a unique and adaptable path for gay men hoping to become dads, but you need to be prepared.
Resources to help recently out men with children navigate their newfound identities as gay dads.
Trans men face unique opportunities and challenges on their path to fatherhood, explored in the resources below.
Our contributors are exploring every aspect of fatherhood from a gay lens--the poignant, the humorous, and everything in between.
There is no one way gay, bi and trans dads form their families and we've made it our mission to chronicle them all. Check out our collection of family profiles for stories that will inspire.
A collection of heartwarming photo essays of gay dads and their families.
Entertainment

Take a Virtual Tour of The Homes of These Famous Gay Dads

Many famous gay dads — including Neil Patrick Harris, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Ricky Martin — have opened up their homes to fans on the pages of Architectural Digest.

In each issue, Architectural Digest offers a peak into the homes of different celebrities. In recent years, they've featured the homes of several famous gay dads. Check out the videos and stories the magazine pulled together on the beautiful homes of Neil Patrick Harris, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Ricky Martin below!

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

How the Shut Down Opened Me Up to Being a Better Dad

David Blacker's dad used to tell him to 'stop and smell the roses' — the shut down has led him to finally take the advice

"Stop and smell the roses." It was the thing my dad always said to me when I was growing up. But like many know-it-all kids, I didn't listen. I was determined to keep my eye on the prize. Whether it was getting good grades in school, getting my work published, scoring the next big promotion, buying a house or starting a family. For me, there was no such thing as resting on my laurels. It has always been about what's next and mapping out the exact course of action to get me there.

Then Covid.

Ten weeks ago, I — along with the rest of the world — was ordered to shelter-in-place... to stop thinking about what's next, and instead, focus on the here and the now. In many ways, the shut down made me shut off everything I thought I knew about being content and living a productive life. And so, for the first time in my 41 years, I have literally been forced to stop and smell the roses. The question is, would I like the way they smell?

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Gay Dad Life

Movie Night: My Favorite Family Tradition

As his sons have gotten older, the movies have morphed away from cartoons and towards things blowing up — but movie night remains his favorite family tradition.

Editor's Note: This is the next in a series of excerpts from Joseph Sadusky's new book, Magic Lessons: Celebratory and Cautionary Tales about Life as a (Single, Gay, Transracially Adoptive) Dad. The book contains many stories about his life as a dad, as well as lessons learned, and we're excited to share several excerpts from the the book over the course of the next few months. Read previous installments here!

Of all of our traditions and rituals, probably the most consistent and longest-lasting one was movie night. Sure, we read the heck out of Harry Potter. But our capacity for watching Harry Potter? We're talking Quidditch World Cup here, folks.

In its early version, movie night looked like this: During the week, I would order a movie and a cartoon from Netflix—back when "Netflix" meant "mail." On Saturday night—and I mean, faithfully, every Saturday night—we would order a pepperoni pizza (which Mark faithfully took the meat off of—I'll get to food later) for delivery and then sit and watch our cartoon and movies while eating. The kids had a say in the movie, but I got to pick the cartoon. They watched enough of their own cartoons on the regular, and besides, this gave me a great opportunity to introduce them to the wonders of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Josie and the Pussycats.


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Gay Dad Life

Happy Mother's Day From Gays With Kids!

To all of the women who have supported the journey of gay, bi and trans men towards fatherhood — thank you, and happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day can be complicated holiday for many gay, bi and trans dads and their kids. Choosing how, when — or even if — to celebrate the day is a uniquely personal decision. But no matter how we've become dads, women have helped us achieve our dreams of fatherhood. And for that reason, we've loved celebrating all of the women who have supported our journeys to fatherhood, in ways big and small, over the years. Check out some of our favorite photos, essays, articles and more below!


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Gay Dad Life

Top Memes From Parents Sheltered in Place with Kids

Perhaps the ONLY good thing to come out of the coronavirus crisis... hilarious parenting memes.

Very, very few good things have come about since the start of the global coronavirus pandemic, but one of the tiny silver linings — and one of the only ways most of us parents sheltering at home with our kids are staying sane — is this: parenting memes.

We've rounded up our favorites below. (If you know who originated some of these, please let us know so we can give credit!)

Enjoy!


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Gay Dad Life

Parenting in the Time of a Pandemic

While parenting during the age of the coronavirus, it's important to celebrate the good and try to forget about the bad, says Grant Minkhorst.

After a year at home caring for our little (big) baby, I had returned to the office for a mere two weeks before the world came to an abrupt halt. Next thing I knew, I was breaking out the sweat pants and trying to settle into life working from home. I'll admit, I had mixed feelings about this sudden return to my former habitat. On the one hand, I would be able to spend more time with my family. On the other hand, I would have to spend more time with my family. I was enjoying the quiet rides into work (alone) and savouring my piping hot morning coffee. The novelty of going to the bathroom without disruption had not yet worn off. On the bright(er) side, I've been able to continue watching our child grow up without missing a beat. The positives outweigh the negatives by a hair. During my moments of energetic positivity, I'm grateful for the opportunity to create new memories and traditions. But, during my moments of utter despair, I only see a clock moving at a glacial pace towards bedtime.

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Gay Dad Life

How I Got My Kids to Like Cooking

Joseph Sadusky's kids like to cook. "To their future partners/spouses/ kids," he writes, "You're welcome."

Editor's Note: This is the next in a series of excerpts from Joseph Sadusky's new book, Magic Lessons: Celebratory and Cautionary Tales about Life as a (Single, Gay, Transracially Adoptive) Dad. The book contains many stories about his life as a dad, as well as lessons learned, and we're excited to share several excerpts from the the book over the course of the next few months. Read previous installments here!

There are many ways that I can finish the sentence "I have the great good fortune that . . . ." One of the ways I have great good fortune is that my kids like to cook. And they're actually pretty good at it.

When the kids were growing up, we did everything in a democratic, consensus-based style. So one day, when the boys were about ten and eight, I said: "Starting now, one night a month, you guys are going to cook dinner." The explanation was pretty simple: As they might have noticed, in a family made up of two boys and one dad, a guy who knows how to cook is pretty useful to have around. Since we had no idea how their futures would play out in terms of partnership, living arrangements, and so on, this would be a good skill to carry with them.

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Congratulations

"A Life Changing Moment": Gay Men Celebrate Recent Births and Adoptions!

Take a break from pandemic news to help us say CONGRATS to all the men in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

Wishing all of these gay dads congratulations on their exciting news this month. From pregnancy announcements, to becoming first-time dads, congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

Congratulations to dads Randy and Nicholas on welcoming their daughter Raye!

@randall79 @rayesimone19 @nicolascudey

Randy and Nicolas had been in the adoption process for several years and had sadly experienced just as many failed adoptions. From birth mothers changing their minds, to spending time with another birth mom in hospital before she admitted that she had no intention of allowing the dads to adopt her daughter but needed the financial support to get through her pregnancy. "This was heart-breaking for us and we took almost a year off to regroup," shared the dads.

One Friday afternoon, they received an email informing them about a baby had been born in Texas and was available for adoption."We jumped on a plane early the next morning to pick up our beautiful daughter!" said Nicholas. "She was born on October 10, 2019, and holding Raye for the first time in the hospital was one of the most beautiful and emotional moments in our life. She was so little and from the first moment we saw her we were in love!"

The family of three currently live in Tampa, Florida, and Martigues, France. They're a bi-citizen couple and plan to raise Raye in both countries. "She's already learning French, English and Spanish!" Congrats to this forever family of three!

Congratulations to dads Trevor and Juan on the becoming dads to baby Connor!

@jstevens8890

Trevor and Juan live in London, Ontario and became dads through altruistic surrogacy. Their son Connor was born in June 5, 2019, and the dads hearts grew ten-fold!

But it was a long road to welcome little Connor. After starting to work with an agency in 2016, their first surrogate unfortunately did not work out. "Looking back, we did see a lot of red flags that we should have been concerned with," shared Trevor. "However, having gone through a failed match, it was eye opening and made our resolve much stronger to having a child of our own."

Just a few months later, they were matched with someone who lived only 3 hours away and due to the relatively close distance, they were able to be much more involved in the journey. "[From then on] our journey was amazing and to this day, we sometimes can't believe it all happened; the three of us got along great. The transfer fortunately took on the first attempt with an embryo made from an egg donor."

The dads welcomed Connor at 32 weeks and they had to stay in the hospital for 21 days but with no long-term complications. "We joke that he wanted to come early to see the Raptors win the NBA finals as we watched the clinching game on an 18in TV in the NICU, and it was well worth it!"

Today, Connor is 8 months old and doing very well. His personality is shining through. The family of three has an ongoing relationship with their surrogate whose own son refers to Connor as his "Tummy Brother." "We very much hope that they can have a relationship when they get older as well."

Congratulations to dads Brian and Scot on welcoming twins Colton and Riley!

@amz61149

Long Island couple Brian and Scot met in college nine years ago and shared very early on that it was really important to both of them that children be a part of their future. "This dream helped us fall in love!" said Brian.

After they felt established in their careers, gotten married, bought a house and become fur daddies to two golden retrievers, they decided it was time to embark on their next adventure: fatherhood. "It was finally time to start the family we always wanted."

"We chose surrogacy as the right path for us. It was a financial and time commitment but knew it would be so worth it. We had some ups and downs while searching for an egg donor but finally matched over Thanksgiving 2018! Shortly after that we matched with our surrogate and had a successful transfer of two embryos in May of 2019."

On December 30, 2019, the husbands welcomed twins Colton and Riley, seven weeks early. "It was a life changing moment that we will never forget. It was the perfect to end 2019 and start the rest of our lives!"

Congratulations to dads Thomas and Jamie for welcoming their daughter Echo!

@mountroseteenprincess @thomas_the_pas

Jamie and Thomas met in London during the summer of 2013. And by September 2014, they were married! Thomas agreed to leave England and move to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, to have Jamie's aunt move in with the husbands, thus beginning the foundation fo their multigenerational household. "It's not always easy," said Jamie, "but it's so rewarding."

After five years together, Aunt Shelia offered to help them start their surrogacy journey. 18 months later, they welcomed their beautiful daughter Echo. She's the youngest in the family, joining her dads, her great aunt, and three havanese pups - Buffy, Cordelia and Giles.

"The first time we held Echo we truly felt as though our hearts now existed outside of our bodies," said Jamie. "She was perfect and the most incredible addition to our multigenerational modern family. We are so excited to watch her grow and discover world around her."

Congratulations to dads Andreas and Rasmus on the birth of their son Matteo!

Dads Andreas and Rasmus recently welcomed their son Matteo on March 8 this year. "We have a daughter, Marit who was born in May 2018 (you can read about their flight home here with Niall Horann) and Matteo is our second child born through surrogacy. "We have always known that we wanted two kids."

"Holding Matteo was surreal," shared Andreas. "The birth went so fast, and the pregnancy in general went so fast this time. The days just fly on when you have a toddler that keeps you occupied."

The Danish dads hope to fly home soon and collect their eldest who is currently at home with her grandparents. The family of four cannot wait to be reunited and to introduce their newest addition to the extended family.

Congratulations to dad Dwight on the birth of his daughter Aria!

New York City resident Dwight became a first-time dad on January 20 this year when he welcomed his daughter, Aria, through surrogacy!

"I always knew I wanted to be a dad from as far as I could remember, and although I'm not in a relationship I knew I was ready," said the new dad. "I worked with an amazing fertility clinic in California and was matched with an awesome surrogate. My relationship with my surrogate grew throughout the process and I now consider her a part of my family."

"The most surprising thing about fatherhood so far has been how quickly my daughter is growing. Each week is a surprise as she develops new and interesting skills. She's already taught me so much including patience and unconditional love."

Congrats to this family of two!

Congratulations to dads Tyler and Michael on finalizing the adoption of their son Luke!

@mikeyspellman

Erie, Pennsylvania, dads Tyler and Michael decided to become foster parents to help local children and with the hope that one day they'd become forever dads. That day has just come true!

"Finalizing our son's adoption was the most amazing thing we've ever done!"

The new forever family celebrated with 25 close friends and family at the court house and then had a joyful dinner later that night. Huge congrats to the forever family of three!

Congratulations to dads Kyle and Justin on finalizing the adoption of their son Elliot!

@kyle.draws.things

Husbands Kyle and Justin live in the 'burbs just outside Los Angeles, California, and they recently finalized the adoption of their son, Elliot, on February 10! "Our finalization day was incredibly special, because unbeknownst to the judge it was one year to the day of us first holding our son!" The family's friends, relations, and Elliot's biological mother and grandmother were in attendance and, as Kyle shared, "there wasn't a dry eye in the house."

The dads shared with each other on their very first date that fatherhood would be apart of their future, but neither could've comprehended how profound the experience would be. "We began the adoption process shortly after our wedding, knowing that it could take a few years," said Kyle. "Since I'm older, my goal was 'a newborn before 40.' Fate of course had other plans, and we matched within 3 months to a mother who had already given birth. We did everything backwards after getting him: baby showers AFTER the baby, setting up a nursery AFTER the baby was already home, and figuring out what we really needed and not what baby blogs told us we needed."

The dads can't believe how much Elliot's personality is exploding and evolving every day. "Showing him the world makes us appreciate everything more than we ever have. It really is about the simple things in life."

Congratulations to dads Danie and Antony on finalizing the parental order of their son!

@2daddywolfpack


British husbands Danie and Antony are one of those love stories. "From the moment we clapped eyes on each other, we both just knew," said Danie. "Whether it was instinctual or serendipity, you call it whatever you want, but for us it was love at first sight." The men had always known from a young age that they would be fathers one day, and as soon as they were engaged they began their preparation for fatherhood.

The chose to pursue surrogacy and hit a few stumbling blocks within the healthcare system. "It honestly felt like every day we battled just to be recognized as a potential parent to this new life that was growing." But when they finally welcomed their son into the world, their lives changed forever. "It was the most emotional day of our lives; no words can ever do it justice. As the two of us stood there, our son was handed to Antony to do the first skin-to-skin contact and it was bliss. Finally having him in his arms, holding him so close. He was so tiny and precious, this bundle of joy that our imaginations tried to see what he would look and sound like as he grew."

Six weeks after the birth, as is required for UK surrogacy journeys, the dads applied for their parental order. It's a complicated process but the dads soon learned they had nothing to fear. Before they knew it, they were appearing before a magistrate and they were officially their son's dads.

"We are now a family of three, yet wonder if we as a family are complete yet. Whether we are or not, one thing we do know is that we are definitely 100% content."

Fatherhood, the gay way

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