Gay Dad Family Stories

These Dads Kept it 'Christian Mingle' Clean on Grindr

Brock was living as a single gay dad of two before meeting his future partner and co-parent Kyle on Grindr.

Jenn Hunter Photography

When Brock and Kyle met, they were leading two very different lives. Brock was a dad of two and had recently divorced from his ex-wife of four years. He'd become a father at a very young age, and had only just begun to live his authentic life, as a single gay dad. Kyle, on the other hand only had himself to worry about. He was an alumni of the Virginia Military Institute, and was working at his family's company in Middlebury, Indiana. His priorities and his time were his own. When the two met, Kyle's day-to-day did a 180-degree turn while Brock's first priority was making sure his kids fit into the equation. Here's how their lives came together and their family became whole.


Brock (left), Kellan, Ren and Kyle

Brock never felt that he could be gay and accepted by his family. When he was 16, his mother found out he was dating a boy and he was sent to gay conversion therapy. Brock's family believed in the "traditional" domestic life and anything else was strictly taboo. When he returned from therapy, Brock decided to keep his true self hidden.

In 2009, when Brock was at college, he and his roommates decided to have a wild party. One for the books! At the time, Brock was still in closet and that night he slept with his then-girlfriend. Six months after the party, she told him she was pregnant. Their daughter Ren was born in 2010.

"I went from being a college sophomore, to becoming a daddy with a newborn hiding in my on-campus apartment," said Brock.

Jenn Hunter Photography

Brock was trying to balance two jobs, college and being a dad.

"I had to make a choice whether or not I wanted to come out," said Brock. "Choosing the latter to avoid even more complications, I met my ex, Courtney."

Nine months after his daughter Ren was born, Courtney and Brock got engaged. Brock dropped out of school to support his family. Courtney and Brock had a son, Kellan, together in 2012. They were married for 4 years until Brock finally came out.

Jenn Hunter Photography

Meanwhile, Kyle had moved to Michigan to work for his father and uncle's RV company. Kyle had come out during his time at the Virginia Military Institute; first to his fellow cadets, and then to his family. When he did come out, his family showed their support with unconditional love.

"They were only upset that I didn't come out sooner," said Kyle. "My father will tell you he was upset and sad that I felt that I had to hide something from him."

In 2015, Kyle and Brock's paths finally crossed on Grindr.

Despite the app's reputation for hook-ups, "he and I made it clear from the beginning that we had no intention of casual encounters," explained Brock. "I have two children to live for, I can't compromise my safety. He was the only person that understood that, and right away I knew he was the one."

Although Kyle had reservations when Brock first brought up his kids, he didn't let let this stand in his way.

"Though our conversations were Christian-mingle clean, I wasn't expecting that the first guy I had a successful and great opening with would send me a kid picture, and say, 'Hey, no hook-ups. These are my kids.'"

But the two fell in love. Brock quite often couldn't spend the night as he had the kids the next day and Kyle remembers how excited Brock was when we spoke about his kids. Kyle began to get curious and wanted to know what all the fuss was about.

The men waited 6 months for Kyle to meet the kids. Ren was a little hesitant at first, but Kyle made a big effort and spent an entire day with her so they could get to know each other better. Kellan took to Kyle immediately.

"We were both more worried about Kellan as he has ASD (autism spectrum disorder)," explained Brock. "Much to our surprise, Kellan and I went over to Kyle's house, and Kellan sat on his lap, and they watched Box Trolls together."

Since then, Kyle's life has changed completely. He now finds pink and white striped socks in his laundry, hairpins in the guest bathroom, and his Netflix now suggests "Thomas & Friends" or Strawberry Shortcake movies, instead of "Breaking Bad" and "Stranger Things."

One of the biggest things that Kyle had to learn to adjust to was having a son with autism. Some seemingly simple daily tasks, like brushing one's teeth, are not quite so simple for Kellan. Despite the challenge, Kyle has eagerly embraced his role as "Daddy Kyle."

"I wouldn't change any of this," said Kyle. " The love I receive is plenty of pay back. These kids are my world now."

Their families' response to their relationship has been quite different. Brock's family on his mother's side quite often "forgets" to invite them for family functions and weddings. Living in White Pigeon, Michigan, near the border of Indiana, the family often gets glares and funny looks in public.

Most Kyle's family, meanwhile, is still living in California, so whenever they visit them there or Kyle's dad travels to Michigan for work, Ren and Kellan are embraced as though they've been part of the family since birth.

Brock, became a dad when he was a sophomore in college; Kyle, became a stepparent to his boyfriend's kids, Although Kyle and Brook hadn't necessarily thought fatherhood was going to be part of their future, and their journeys there were very different, they're loving life as Ren and Kellan's parents.

"I have these awesome kids that are now my reason for waking up alive."

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A Gay Fertility Doctor Opens Up About His Own Path to Parenthood

Parenthood is the "one and only job" held by the majority of the population, wrote gay fertility doctor Mark Leondires in a recent op-ed for The Advocate

Dr. Mark Leondires, founder of the fertility clinic RMA of Connecticut, has helped thousands of LGBTQ people become parents over the years. But in a recent op-ed for The Advocate, he discussed his own path to parenthood as a gay man, and some of the lessons he's learned along the way.

"Similar to most gay men I struggled with the coming out process," Dr. Leondires wrote. "I strongly desired to be a parent. And as a fertility doctor I knew this was possible. What was enlightening was after we had our first child is that in the eyes of my community, I went from being a gay man or gay professional to being a parent just like most of my straight friends."

Dr. Leondires goes on to say his reasons for opening up about his parenting journey is to offer some perspective LGBTQ people who are considering parenthood. "Once you have a family you will have this common bond with the vast majority of our population and something they can relate to — having children," he wrote. "You are no longer someone living this "special" lifestyle, you are a parent on a shared journey."

Being a parent is the "one and only job" held by the majority of the population, he continued. "It is also the only job you can't be fired from."

Understanding this commonality helped Dr. Leondires in his coming out process, he said. "I had to be proud of my family because I want them to be proud of our family," he wrote. "It wasn't about me anymore. The reality is that 5-7% of patients identify as LGBTQ+, and there may be a greater likelihood that your child might be LGBTQ+ because you are. Therefore, you need to be proud of who you are and who your family is, establish and maintain this foundation unconditionally."

Read Dr. Leondires entire essay here.

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10 Inspiring Coming Out Stories From Gay Dads

Happy National Coming Out Day! To celebrate, we've rounded up some of our recent stories about gay men with kids coming out to live their most authentic lives.

Happy National Coming Out Day! To celebrate, we've rounded up some of our best articles of gay dads coming out to live their authentic lives.

#1. Former NFL Player Jeff Rohrer, and Father of Two, Comes Out as Gay and Marries Longterm Partner


Jeff Rohrer, a father of two teenage boys via a previous relationship with a woman, is the first NFL player to marry another man. Read the article here.

#2. Coming Out to His Wife Was Painful, Says This Salt Lake-Based Dad of Four. But it Started Him on a Path of Authenticity

After Kyle came out to his wife, with whom he has four children, "she listened, she mourned and she loved," he said. Read the article here.

#3. Gay Dads Share Their Coming Out Stories for National Coming Out Day

We asked several gay dads to share their coming out stories in honor of National Coming Out Day, whose stories are heartwarming, instructive, and everything in between. Read the article here.

#4. Gay Muslim Single Dad Writes Op Ed on His Path to Self Acceptance

Maivon Wahid writes about the challenges of reconciling three separate, but equally important, identities in an opinion piece for Gay Star News. Read the article here.

#5. One Gay Dad's Path Towards Realizing Being Gay and Christian are Not Mutually Exclusive

Gay dads Matt and David Clark-Sally talk about coming out, parenting as gay men, and reconciling faith and sexuality. Read the article here.

#6. Republican Utah Lawmaker, and Dad of Two, Comes Out as Gay in Moving Video

Nathan Ivie has many important identities he's proud of: Mormon, Republican, Utahn, father of two... and gay. Read the article here.

#7. How Coming Out Helped This Gay Man Find the Strength to Be a Dad

Steven Kerr shares the moment he came out to his ex-girlfriend. "From that moment on," he writes, "my strength and purpose have grown." Read the article here.

#8. Ed Smart, Father of Kidnapping Victim Elizabeth Smart, Comes Out as Gay

In coming his coming out letter, Ed Smart, a Mormon, condemned the church for their "ridicule, shunning, rejection and outright humiliation" of LGBTQ individuals. Read the article here.

#9. The Best Part of Coming Out, Says This Gay Dad, Is Being an Out and Proud Role Model for His Daughter

"I couldn't face myself in the mirror and think that I could be a good dad and role model for my child when I was lying to myself every moment of every day," said Nate Wormington of his decision to come out. Read the article here.

#10. These Gay Dads Via Previous Marriages Have Adopted a Motto Since Coming Out and Finding Each Other: "United We Stand"

Vincent and Richard both had children in previous marriages with women; together, with their ex-wives, they are helping raise seven beautiful kids. Read the article here.

News

Ed Smart, Father of Kidnapping Victim Elizabeth Smart, Comes Out as Gay

In coming his coming out letter, Ed Smart, a Mormon, condemned the church for their "ridicule, shunning, rejection and outright humiliation" of LGBTQ individuals.

In a post on Facebook, Ed Smart, father of kidnapping survivor Elizabeth Smart, came out as gay. He also discussed his strained relationship with his Mormon faith, claiming he felt he didn't feel comfortable living as an openly gay man in a church with a difficult history with respect to its LGBTQ members. He and his wife, Lois, have filed for divorce.

"This is one of the hardest letters I have ever written," he began the letter. "Hard because I am finally acknowledging a part of me that I have struggled with most of my life and never wanted to accept, but I must be true and honest with myself." He went on to acknowledged a new set of challenges facing he and his family as they navigate a divorce and his coming out — in the public eye, no less — but concluded, ultimately, that it's a "huge relief" to be "honest and truthful about my orientation."

He went on to condemn The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for their "ridicule, shunning, rejection and outright humiliation" of LGBTQ individuals. "I didn't want to face the feelings I fought so hard to suppress, and didn't want to reach out and tell those being ostracized that I too am numbered among them. But I cannot do that any longer."

In an interview with the Salt Lake Tribune, Ed Smart further discussed his reasons for coming out now, as a 64-year-old man.

"I mean, I knew that it would probably come out at some point, just because people can't leave things alone. I did anticipate that it would happen at some time, but my intention in writing it was to try to let my friends and family know, you know my extended family ... know where things were. So, you know, I was really concerned about how the rumor mill starts," he told the paper. "I knew that at some point in time, that would come out," he elaborated. "I didn't know when it would come out, and so I would rather have it come out the way that it did versus having some rumors going around, and you know the crazy way things can get twisted."

In 2002, Ed Smart's daughter Elizabeth was abducted at knife point by a married couple from her bedroom in Salt Lake City, Utah. She suffered physical and sexual abuse at the couple's hands, for nine months, until she was finally rescued by police. During the ordeal, papers — including the Salt Lake Tribute — speculated about Ed Smart's sexual orientation based on some fabricated information sold to the paper by tabloids like the National Enquirer. (The Enquirer retracted the story, and the reporters at the Tribute were ultimately fired.)

"I think that in April I started feeling like I needed to prepare something," Smart told the Tribute. "Because during Elizabeth's ordeal, there were things said, and it wasn't what I wanted to say, and I was not going to allow that to happen again."

As to how his family has taken the news, Smart said they've been "very kind" to him. "I think it was very difficult to have this kind of come out of the blue. I don't think any of them knew I was struggling with this, so it was something they were, if you want to call it, blindsided by. I totally get that. They've really been very wonderful."

Congrats to Ed Smart on making the difficult decision to live his truth. Read his full letter here and his interview with the Tribute here.

Gay Dad Family Stories

One Single Gay Dad's Trailblazing Path to Parenthood Via Surrogacy

20 years ago, Gene became the first single gay man to work with Circle Surrogacy in order to become a dad — trailblazing a path for many others since.

This article is part of our family feature series with Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency that has been helping LGBTQ+ singles and couples realize their dream of parenthood for the past 20 years.

"I think I was pretty naïve, I guess," chuckled Gene, one of the first single gay dads to work with Circle Surrogacy over 19 years ago. "I just had made a decision and went out and did it, and wasn't really thinking about how difficult it might be or what other people thought, being first at doing something."

So how did Gene hear about surrogacy as an option for single gay men? Well, it began with Gene flipping through a bar magazine. He recalls seeing an ad about a woman providing a service to connect gay men with lesbians in platonic co-parenting relationships. While he started down that path, working with the founder, Jennifer, he remembers thinking, "What if I meet someone? What if I want to move? It would create all these complications."

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Gay Dad Life

Karamo Brown Co-Writes Children's Book with Son, Jason

The 'Queer Eye' star and his son named the story on a family mantra: You are Perfectly Designed

When his sons, Jason and Chris, were young, "Queer Eye" Star Karamo Brown repeated the same saying to them: "You are perfectly designed."

That mantra is now a Children's Book, cowritten by Karamo and his 22-year-old son, Jason, who used to come how and "say things like, 'I don't want to be me, I wish I was someone else, I wish I had a different life." As a parent, that "broke my heart," Karamo told Yahoo! Lifestyle. "I would say to him, 'You are blessed and you are perfect just the way you are,' as a reminder that you have been given so much and you should be appreciative and know that you're enough — I know that the world will try to tear you down, but if you can say to yourself, 'I am perfectly designed,' maybe it can quiet out some of those negative messages."

The illustrations, by Anoosha Syed, also make a point of displaying families of a variety of races and sexual orientations throughout the book.

Read more about Karamo's fascinating path to becoming a gay dad here, and then check out the video below that delves deeper into the inspiration behind "You Are Perfectly Designed," available on Amazon.



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"Dadvocates" Gather in D.C. to Demand Paid Family Leave for ALL Parents

"Dadvocate" and new gay dad Rudy Segovia joined others in D.C. recently to educate lawmakers on the need for paid family leave for ALL parents

On Tuesday October 22, Dove Men+Care and PL+US (Paid Leave for the United States) led the Dads' Day of Action on Capitol Hill. A group of over 40 dads and "dadvocates" from across the states lobbied key member of Congress on the issue of paid paternity leave for *ALL* dads. They shared stories of their struggles to take time off when welcoming new family members and the challenges dads face with no paid paternity leave.

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

Falling for Fall: 33 Photos of Gay Dads and Kids at the Pumpkin Patch

Oh my gourd, it's fall! To celebrate, we rounded up 33 pics (and whole lot of pun-kins) in our annual fall photo essay!

Don your checked shirt, grab them apples, and shine those smiles while perched on pumpkins — it's the annual fall family photo op! A trip to the pumpkin patch and / or apple orchard is a staple family fall outing, and we're here for it. 🎃🍎🍂👨👨👧👦

Thanks to these dads who shared their pics with us! Share your own to dads@gayswithkids.com and we'll add them to this post!

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