Gay Dad Life

The Best Part of Coming Out, Says This Gay Dad, Is Being an Out and Proud Role Model for His Daughter

"I couldn't face myself in the mirror and think that I could be a good dad and role model for my child when I was lying to myself every moment of every day," said Nate Wormington of his decision to come out.

Photo credit: https://eliseabigail.com/

Nate Wormington had lived much of his life not being true to himself. He had a beautiful baby girl, was married to his best friend and soul mate, but there was still no doubt in his mind that he was gay. Still, he chose to stay in a heterosexual relationship lifestyle, and it was making him incredibly depressed.

"For some that may be a sustainable life, but denying a core value of myself began to take its toll on me, and I had to own up to my own truth to salvage my life and my relationships with the people I love." Despite the difficulties in doing so, he eventually, he came out. Today, he's co-parenting with his ex-wife and they're still best friends. This November, he's getting married to the man of his dreams. But most importantly, he's proud to be a positive example to his 7-year-old daughter.


Nate grew up in a small town in Missouri and had zero exposure to anyone gay; he didn't even know or truly comprehend what being gay meant. His only understanding of homosexuality was through the local church's teaching, and therefore, not a shining example of the queer community. "I actually planned to make a conscious effort to try and live a hetero lifestyle," explained Nate.

Nate and Barbara on their wedding day

Nate met Barbara when they were in 5th grade and they clicked. They were best friends throughout middle school and high school, and in senior year their relationship progressed beyond friendship. They went to the same college and lived together while studying. "The next few years flew by and we ended up buying a house and both graduated with degrees in teaching," said Nate on his own blog. Not long after, Nate proposed to Barb and the two were married.

On February 17, 2011, they welcomed a daughter, baby Sydnee. They approached parenthood the same way they had approached everything in their life so far – as a team. "To this day, and every day from now until I die, making a child with Barb is the single most proud achievement of my life and has made all the ups and downs of our story worth every laugh and every tear we shed along the way."

Nate holding newborn Sydnee

But having a child was also the real turning point for Nate. No longer could he ignore the voice of doubt that was growing louder and louder. "Eventually I couldn't face myself in the mirror and think that I could be a good dad and role model for my child when I was lying to myself every moment of every day, and even worse; lying to my soul mate and mother of my child," shared Nate.

Nate was terrified to tell his wife Barbara that he was gay; she was his best friend and mother of his child! But it was actually Barbara who coaxed it out of him. Her reaction was one he'll never forget and he'll always be thankful for: She asked him if he was okay. "That single moment of unconditional love is probably the single reason I have been able to cope with the guilt that I have for putting her through all of this," said Nate.

Photo credit: Elise Abigail

The next year was difficult for both of Sydnee's parents but they worked through it and remained supportive of one another. Nate was in school to become a Physicians Assistant and didn't have any openly gay friends to talk to, and was finding himself in a dark place. It was around a year after Nate came out that he met Chris Keenan, and he began to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Chris had come out when he was 16, the end of his sophomore year of high school. "Ultimately, my mom, dad, stepmom and siblings were all supportive and never treated me any differently," said Chris, sharing his very different experience to Nate. When the two started dating, Nate put his cards on the table at the very beginning and told Chris about his daughter as he had zero interest in dating someone who wasn't okay with him having a daughter. Thankfully, Chris didn't have a moment's hesitation. In fact, he was nothing but excited to meet her. "Nate immediately told me he had a child and how important she was to him - there wasn't even a response that was needed, I was then, and continue to be, supportive of him being a great father!" said Chris.

Photo credit: Elise Abigail

But before Chris could meet Sydnee, his biggest test was to first meet her mom, Barbara. Chris and Nate had been together close to 6 months when they were first introduced. Not surprisingly, the meeting went wonderfully and Barbara gave them both her approval, and meeting Sydnee went just as well. "She was almost three when he met her," said Nate, "and she has loved him ever since."

"I always say I am an old soul, so falling into the role of a parent from the moment I met her was so easy and natural," added Chris. "Sydnee has always been so mature for her age, we had an instant bond; I love her as if she were my biological child - there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her."

Today, Nate and Chris are co-parenting Sydnee with Barbara and her wonderful partner Zach, "who magically showed up and completed our family," said Nate. They raise their daughter together, and consider themselves a "pretty bad ass family."

In November this year, Nate and Chris will marry and they will have their happily ever after. "Maybe [it's] not how I envisioned it as a know-it-all high school kid, but its turned out better than I could have ever hoped for and I wouldn't change anything about my journey to this point, and I cannot wait to see what our future holds."

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Gay Dad Life

Retired NFL Player Reveals He, His Husband and Ex-Wife Live and Raise Kids Together

Former Dallas Cowboys linebacker Jeff Rohrer says "we get in fights" thanks to the unique co-parenting arrangement, but that they're "doing the best we can."

Former Dallas Cowboys linebacker Jeff Rohrer, who played for the Dallas Cowboys from 1982 to 1989, came out as gay not long ago and became the first NFL player to marry another man, Joshua Ross. Jeff is a father of two teenage boys, who he had with his ex-wife, Heather Rohrer. In a recent interview with People, Jeff, Joshua and Heather discussed their unique co-parenting situation.

"It wasn't that Jeffrey came out to me, but once I figured it out, it was obvious he was gay," Heather said. "He thought it was wrong; he was so angry. He thought his children wouldn't love him, that he'd lose his job. I tried to help him. I kept trying to tell him it was okay, that it was no big deal. But it was to him."

Today, all three adults live together, along with their two children, Isabella, 16, and Dondillon, 15.

"We get in our fights, but we find a way to make up. We're just trying to do the best that we can," Joshua said.

"Jeff and Josh are my family, and we're a better team together than apart," Heather said for her part. "Being together for the kids is the important thing for us. It's been difficult to get to this place, but it's worth it."

Read the entire piece on People.

Gay Dad Life

Gay Muslim Single Dad Writes Op Ed on His Path to Self Acceptance

Maivon Wahid writes about the challenges of reconciling three separate, but equally important, identities in an opinion piece for Gay Star News

Maivon Wahid, a gay Muslim single dad living in Fiji, wrote an opinion piece for Gay Star News about the challenges he's faced on his road to self acceptance.

"I feel pressure on how I am supposed to behave and how I am perceived," he wrote oh how these competing identities play out for him, day to day.

Maivon described himself as an "odd" kid, who never quite fit in--something he still relates to today as an adult. "When I enter the masjid (mosque), I am always judged and questioned," he wrote. "Sometimes it's curiosity, but sometimes it's borderline bullying." He said he found a way to be both gay and Muslim, three years ago, when he met an openly gay Imam at a conference in Australia. "It was through him I was able to first appreciate who I was, then love who I had become and celebrate it."

Being gay in Fiji, he says also makes him feel the need to hide certain parts of himself. "In Fiji, I find the need to hide so many aspects of my authentic being," he wrote.

He also wrote of complications familiar to many single gay men who became dads from previous straight relationships. He writes: "As a single parent to the most beautiful son – I was married to my ex-wife for nine years – learning to become and celebrate the person you want to be is about more than just me; it's a legacy I want to leave for him and the next generation. Although it's hard to meet like-minded people (my dating life is non-existent!), in being myself, I believe I can show others it's OK to be you, and to love whoever you want to love."

Ultimately, despite the challenges he's faced, Maivon says he has found a way to reconcile these three identities into one. "Whether you're gay, Muslim or a single parent – or all three – there is a place and space for everyone," he wrote. "I have found my place in Islam, and am comfortable being the best version of gay I can be. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Read the whole article here.


Gay Dad Family Stories

Gay Couple, Both Dads From Former Straight Relationships, Forge New Future Together

Ryan Lippert and David Pirrotta, who met two years ago on a dating app, are both dads to kids via former straight relationships

Ryan Lippert, 46, and his fiancé David Pirrotta, 42, are successful entrepreneurs. They're both founders of their own companies - Scout Model Agency, and David Pirrotta Brands, a Beauty Brand Manager and Distributor, respectively. They met over two years ago via a dating app and spent their first date talking and dining at a Los Angeles restaurant for 4 hours, till the restaurant closed. They're hard-working, passionate, and interesting guys. You could say they bring a lot to the table.

But there's more than just the two of them at that table. Together, they have three kids from previous straight relationships.

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Adopting an Older Child Through Foster Care Was the Best Path for These Dads

After learning more about older-child adoption through You Gotta Believe, Mark and Andrew decided it was the best way for them to form their family.

"Hey! I got adopted today! These are my dads, Mark and Andrew!"

Jeremy was 16 years old when he found out his new dads wanted to adopt him.

In late August 2017, husbands Mark and Andrew Mihopulos, 34 and 36 respectively, remember driving out to the east end of Long Island. They knew at the very same moment they were driving, social workers were letting Jeremy know they wanted to adopt him. "We expected Jeremy to be hesitant or feel mixed emotions," shared Mark. "We didn't know how he would feel about having two dads and about having white parents and family, as he is a black young man."

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Philippe "Swiped Right" on This Handsome Young Dad

At first, Philippe wasn't sure he could date a man who was a dad. But Steve, and his son Gabriel, have helped him realize a "fatherly side" of himself he didn't know he had.

"It's been one hell of a ride since the beginning," said 26-year-old Steve Argyrakis, Canadian dad of one. He was 19 when he found out he was going to be a dad and the mom was already several months along in her pregnancy. Steve, who lives in Montreal, was struggling with his homosexuality but wanted to do the "right thing," so he continued to suppress his authentic self. "I was so scared about the future and about my own happiness, that I had put aside my homosexuality once again."

A couple of months later, little Gabriel was born, and it was love at first sight.

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Entertainment

Ain't No Party Like a Gay Dad Dance Party

Gay dads singing and dancing with their kids is EXACTLY what you need to get your weekend started right.

Who jams to Led Zeppelin with their kids?

Who rocks some sweet moves to Kelly Clarkson?

Who sings along with their kids in the car?

Who breaks it down with a baby strapped to them in a carrier?

We all do! But these guys happened to catch it all on tape for us to enjoy! Thanks dads. 😂

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

This Dad Went 'Numb' After a Painful Failed Adoption, But Learned to Love Again

After a painful failed adoption that brought these gay dads to the brink of realizing their dream of fatherhood, Paul "went numb" for several months before trying, and succeeding, again

In the fall of 2010, what was suppose to be a non-committal daytime date in Seattle, ended up being 3 days of sharing life experiences, unpacking emotional luggage and the moment I realized I had met my future husband. Just under four years later, we were saying "I Do", and became Paul and Jamie Trudel-Payne.

Jamie, a devilishly handsome All-American freelance writer, came from a tightly woven, kind and virtuous household. While I, Paul, a cute (ish) bi-racial (Mexican/Caucasian) small business owner, came from a somewhat intrusive, rambunctious and very large Hispanic family. The desire and support received from both families was immense and just six months after being married, we began the adoption process.

Wearing rose-colored glasses we quickly learned that our adoption journey was going to be anything but rosy.

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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