Gay Adoption
Gay men hoping to become dads have more options today than ever before to make that dream a reality. Regardless of your chosen path to fatherhood, start here for resources, tips, and how-to guides to help gay dads-to-be navigate the journey
Every gay dad has an inspiring story to tell. Read on for incredible examples of gay men and their families living out and proud all across the globe.
LGBTQ families are have made incredible progress in recent years, but there is still much more work to be done. Read on for news and inspiring stories about LGBTQ families fighting for equality.
Gay men wanting to adopt have more options than ever, but challenges persist. See below for tips on navigating the adoption process.
Surrogacy provides gay men with a biological connection to their child, but the process is complex. These tips help navigate a surrogacy journey.
Read through the resources below for tips on how gay dads can best navigate the foster care system.
Co-parenting can be a unique and adaptable path for gay men hoping to become dads, but you need to be prepared.
Resources to help recently out men with children navigate their newfound identities as gay dads.
Trans men face unique opportunities and challenges on their path to fatherhood, explored in the resources below.
Our contributors are exploring every aspect of fatherhood from a gay lens--the poignant, the humorous, and everything in between.
There is no one way gay, bi and trans dads form their families and we've made it our mission to chronicle them all. Check out our collection of family profiles for stories that will inspire.
A collection of heartwarming photo essays of gay dads and their families.
Gay Adoption

5 Things to Keep in Mind When Preparing for Your Home Study

Molly Rampe Thomas of Choice Network lists the 5 things gay men should keep in mind when preparing for your home study

The homestudy is the first step in the adoption process. In every state the homestudy is done a little differently, but all of them have the some combo of paperwork, trainings, and interviews. The homestudy can take anywhere from 2 months to 6 months to complete. Without it, you cannot adopt.

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With most agencies you start with an initial meeting. After that you are able to begin the homestudy process. The homestudy usually consists of a set of documents, trainings, and interviews. The documents needed can include things like background checks, reference letters, medical statements, financial docs, home inspections, etc.

Once the homestudy is complete, you build your profile (we do ours online, because I think printed anything is old school). After the profile goes live, you begin the "wait" which can take anywhere from a day to 2+ years. After a pregnant person chooses you, the wait is over and you are considered matched.

After you are matched, you create a plan for placement that includes a legal plan, hospital / birthing plan, and openness plan to prepare for the baby being born. Once the baby is born, there is normally a waiting time (anywhere from 24 hours to 3 days or more) until official placement can happen (though the baby almost always goes home with you from the hospital).

After official placement happens, you enter the time where post placement supervision occurs. This includes visits from your agency to make sure the placement is going well (which it will be). Once the post placement period is over, finalization happens and the adoption is complete. I am realizing this could be a full blog post! Homestudy, wait, match, placement, post placement and finalization – are the normal steps to getting your babe.

Gay Adoption

8 Phrases That Show the Love of Open Adoption

In 8 phrases, Molly Rampe Thomas, founder and CEO of Choice Network, explains why her agency believes in the power of open adoptions


#1: "Never ever"

Many times, people come to us believing deep down that they could never ever imagine having an open adoption. The truth is, many of our families had to experience a ton of pain before taking the path to adoption. Their heart is wrecked and they can't imagine sharing the shambles with another. Or the path just simply hasn't been straight and the bumps have bruised them. The goal is to get to a place of wholeness and healing so they can say "I could never, ever imagine a closed adoption. When I see with truth, I see that open adoption benefits my child, their first family and me".

#2: "Take courage"

It takes courage to look past fear and be ready to love. Open adoption is love. It takes courage. It is the ability to say "I have and want to do this, no matter what." What we know for sure is that what we give in this journey, we will receive. Give courage. Receive courage. This adoption journey takes courage.

#3: "Fear not"

In open adoption, there is nothing to fear. In fact, open adoption is our greatest gift to our children. Our biggest fear should be first families not having peace in their heart. We should never fear open adoption. We should fear secrets, shame and any past history untold that can harm our child. What they don't know, the world will show them. So tell them all they need know and tell it with love and total, complete honesty.

#4: "No victim"

Some of our families' biggest fears is that their children will be a victim of their adoption. They have incredible fears for themselves and their child's first families. "Poor me, poor them or poor her" is a story we hear often. We celebrate the journey though. Open adoption is about reviving and restoring the knowledge that greater things will come. Knowing that we are not a victim. We are whole, healed, free and open. We see the beauty in the journey and we appreciate it.

#5 "Choose love"

It is true that love can conquer so much in adoption. We need to give it freely and often. We have to love so hard that we balance the pain involved in a bond of a mother and child breaking – a bond broken for us. Love. Love. Love. In all things, choose love.

#6 "Be willing"

Sometimes families just first need to be willing. Willing to be open. Willing to hear what open adoption can bring. Willing to hear the research that demonstrates the benefits about open adoption. Willing to really see our child's first family and want only good for them. Willing to say "Without peace in their heart, I cannot move forward". Willing to see adoption is hard, but done well it can be a beautiful thing. Simply be willing to say "Here I am. Teach me, show me. I am ready to be vulnerable and ready to do what it takes to adopt and do it well."

#7 "THIS good"

Peace in everyone's heart makes you look back and say "I never knew adoption could be THIS good." Adoption is richness. Adoption is healing. Adoption is truth. Adoption is grieving. Adoption is good.

#8 "Hope is alive"

And in the end, hope is alive in open adoption. I love hope. I love when first families and adoptive families give themselves permission to hope. I love bringing hope in this work. Hope is real. Brokenness is restored. In adoption, hope is alive.

Molly Rampe Thomas is founder and CEO of Choice Network, an adoption agency that trusts people and their choices. The agency is on a mission to change the definition of family by welcoming all pregnant people, all children, all families, and all choices. Choice Network truly believes in the power of love and never backs down to fight for good. For more information, visit choicenetworkadoptions.com

Gay Adoption

So You've Matched With a Birth Parent. What's Next?

A pregnant person has chosen you to parent their child. How can you prepare for the first meeting? Here are five easy ways.

A pregnant person has chosen me … we are meeting her! How can we prepare? Here are five easy ways.

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Gay Adoption

5 Ways to Know Your Adoption Agency Is LGBTQ-Friendly

So you're ready to adopt. How do you know your adoption agency won't just discriminate against you as a gay man, but is actively welcoming to LGBTQ people?

You know what is the worst? Adoption agencies who discriminate! So how do you know your agency welcomes you? Check out our list of five immediate ways to know if your agency is LGBTQ affirming.

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World Adoption Day, taking place this year on Friday, November 9, is always an exciting opportunity to celebrate gay, bi, trans dads who created their families through adoption. But as our friends and supporters at Dove Men+Care like to remind us, this is also a great opportunity to consider the impact a national paid paternity policy could have on all our families, especially adoptive and LGBTQ ones. Driving the conversation beyond our Father's Day partnership, Dove Men+Care continues to be committed to championing paternity leave for dads everywhere, spotlighting the importance of taking as much time as you can during those early moments with your new child.

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Gay Adoption

Gay Dads Mike and Steve, On the Importance of Honesty in an Adoptive, Bi-Racial Family

"Being two white dads with four black kids it's always been a part of our functioning as a family," Mike told us during Family Week at P-town this year, adding they prioritize conversations "about birth moms, race, and celebrating the beauty of our family."

"It's definitely something I always saw myself being, was a dad," Mike told us during Family Week in P-town this year. "Coming out as gay, that was one of my biggest struggles at the time was that I thought way back then that I could not be a dad if I was gay."

Four kids later? "Clearly I'm very gay and very much a dad."

Steve's advice for dads-to-be? "Three is enough!" he said, before quickly adding, "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"

Gay Dad Life

P-Town Talks: Gay Dad Seth, On the Importance of Normalizing Your Family

"She just needed a quick answer," Seth told us during Family Week at P-town this year, about a girl in his son's school who asked why he had two dads. "They don't see any differences amongst kids, until they're told."

"Soloman had a kid in his school when he was at a daycare we were at and she came up and was like, 'how does Soloman have two dads?'" Seth recounted for us when we caught up with him during Family Week at P-town this year.

"I was like, well, a lady gave birth to him and gave him to us, and that's how he was two dads. Isn't he so lucky?"

"She was like, 'yeah, bye!" and ran off. She just needed an answer! Like a quick answer."


Fatherhood, the gay way

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