This Gay Couple Fought Against Alcoholism and Discrimination to Become Dads
Kelsey Cain and his husband Stacy Ellis Cain are the proud parents to two children, who the adopted through the foster care system. The couple married in May 2015. Kelsey works as a the owner of a drug test company, and both he and Stacy also work as bail bondsmen. We caught up with Kelsey recently to talk about their path to parenthood, and to get their advice for others considering adopting through the foster care system.
How did you and your husband meet? We met through a mutual friend. I had been in Oklahoma for three years, and single for five. Ellis had been single for five years as well. Our mutual friend thought we should meet. Phone numbers were provided and the talks began! We spoke nightly for about six weeks. At the time I was living in Ada, Oklahoma and Ellis was living in Comanche, Oklahoma, where he was looking after his ailing mother. After six weeks our schedules allowed us to meet. We decided on dinner in Sulphur---a small town in between. Dinner was great! We already knew each other because of all of the time on the phone, but we were able to spend the evening enjoying the time being together in person, finally.
We have both learned that our parents had done a pretty great job, mostly. We have learned that we don't or can't love one more than the other but it can be different. I was always accused of being the favorite of my 5 siblings. My parents always said they did not have favorites. Now I understand. Patience. Enough said for Patience. At 48 and 52 years old, we are in better shape than our kids, their friends and most of their parents, and we Love that! I thought I was going to be a total jerk when it came to food, and I am. And its okay! We have learned that it takes kids a while to learn who to go to if they want a "Yes." During the first 4 months both of the kids came only to me for everything. I am usually the one who will say "no" to the cola or piece of candy or bowl of ice cream. Ellis would even say "You should have asked me." We would constantly remind them that they now have two parents to ask. We are becoming more literal too. When we say to the kids "clean your rooms" we are now so literal that there had better not be anything on the floor! That bed better not have a single wrinkle on the duvet! We are learning to have fun.
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