My Daughter Talks A Lot
My daughter talks a lot. And by "a lot" I mean pretty much all the time.
On our walk home from school today I asked her a question about her day and she launched into a long story. After twenty minutes, I realized that she hadn’t even answered the question yet. She was just getting started.
Her talking drives her brother crazy. He can’t get a word in edgewise. Sometimes she does it on purpose, I’ve noticed---she’ll keep talking without anything more to say so he can’t get a turn to speak. Her talking drives my partner crazy. He, too, would like a chance to hear himself think once in a while.
Her talking drives my mother crazy too. “She went to sleep talking, and then woke up talking,” my mom said, after bringing her back from a sleepover.
In fact, she talks in her sleep, too. She was talking about tiny fingers the other night. And pickles the night after. She also yells out “no” followed by her brother’s name. Or her friend’s name and “those are my pencil crayons!” There’s so much going on in that six-year-old mind---so much she needs to get out!
“She advocates very well for herself,” her teacher told us on parent-teacher night. I thought that was a very diplomatic way to put it. “But I also have to remind her that I’m the teacher, and I’ll lead the class and give the lesson,” she added.
Her talking can be useful at times. During a long car ride the other month, our son asked his sister to tell a story and she obliged. She started the story of a girl and her brother, and a castle and a dragon. She took her first breath at about the 45 minute mark. Then she kept going for another 45 minutes. She added another family and something about giants. Every once in a while she dropped in words like penis, vagina, bum and poop, which sent them into fits of giggles. It was a good way to pass the time.
Our daughter was a quiet infant. The adoption agency placed her with us hoping we could help bring her out of her shell. For the longest time, she just took everything in. She watched, she listened, she absorbed. Sometimes she still does---either in a new situation or when meeting a new person. But then she’ll start talking, and once she’s started….
So it’s worked. She’s definitely found her voice.
Last year, our son was playing video games and our daughter sat on the arm of his chair. She went on and on about who was together with whom and who had broken up whom (and she was in senior kindergarten!) But it seemed so stereotypical – the male playing video games and not paying the slightest bit of attention and the female babbling on.
I'll admit, though, that even I tune her out at times. I’m just as guilty of not giving her my full attention.
But I will never tell her to be quiet. There are enough messages in society for girls and women to be quiet, to be seen and not heard, that what they have to offer is not valuable, or not to overstep their place.
I want my girl to speak up and speak out. I want her to be confident and vocal. And she is! She feels that what she has to say is valid. Whether that is due to her personality or her upbringing---or perhaps due to the need to hold her own with her brother---she is not shy at all.
I hope she remains that way.
The Long Island Adoptive Families support group was created by parents going through the adoption process or who had already adopted. It was a great way to help members navigate the path of adoption whether it be private domestic, international agency, domestic agency or foster care. We spoke with Chemene, one of the founders, and found out how this group is supporting local gay men interested in becoming fathers.
Adam Lozon and Scott Dufour met online and have been together 11 years.They live in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, with their son Paulo. The couple are both in banking and are engaged to be married. We caught up with the dads to see how fatherhood was treating them!
Guest post from Greg Hutch.
It's two weeks before school starts and I am sitting in my classroom updating the photos in the frames on my desk. These frames used to be filled with pictures of my dogs, of me playing my instrument (I am a music teacher), or of the various other things that I have enjoyed in my lifetime. Today, they are filled with loving pictures of my family, including my son and partner who I raise him with. Times sure have changed…thanks to our son, Clark.
Editor's Note: In this ongoing series, we're shining the spotlight on some of the gay dads behind Gays With Kids as their incredible passion and commitment plays an invaluable role in making Gays With Kids possible. Please contact Brian Rosenberg if you'd like to talk about getting involved, too.
Happy gay uncles day to all the wonderful "guncles" out there! Here at Gays With Kids we know how important your roles are within our families so we want to celebrate you today, and say a big thanks! Enjoy this collection of "guncle" photos and a few words of wisdom and contemplations from the uncles themselves.
Two years ago when Oliver arrived into our lives, my partner Rob and I were living in separate countries. We met in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and had Oliver when Rob was working in Bangkok and I was in KL. Oliver arrived two weeks early when we received an unexpected message from our agent saying to go to the hospital – our surrogate had been checked into hospital.
The day began like any other. My alarm went off at 4.30am. I snoozed until 5am. I ate breakfast until 5.30am, at which point my son, Felix, woke naturally like clockwork. I fed him mashed bananas, cashew butter and chia seeds. I woke my dad up with a cup of tea and handed the baton over for him to look after Felix as I left for work on my bike at 6.30am. I worked through the day as normal. Then, at 6.49pm I received a call from the police.