Gay Dad Life

These Gay Dads Know How to Make Holidays Extra Super Special

Adam and Josh got engaged on Good Morning America on Valentines Day, and welcomed their Christmas miracle baby into their lives on December 26th

Picture this: Valentine's Day 2015, Adam and Josh Klocke were among 24 other couples ice skating in Bryant Park as part of a Good Morning America segment. Lara Spencer was hosting while Christina Perri sang "A Thousand Years" on top of a piano. Midway through, she stopped and Lara reported technical difficulties. This was the cue that the knowing members of each couple had been waiting for. They each dropped to one knee and asked for their partner's hand in marriage. Adam recalls, "It was such an amazing experience that we will never forget." 18 months later, they were married.

While their engagement was a life-changing experience, another for the husbands was welcoming their Christmas miracle, Baby K, via adoption on December 26, 2018. She was just two days old. Here's their story.


Adam (left) and Josh holding Baby K in her carseat

Adam and Josh's journey began over 10 years ago, when they met in San Francisco. Adam was living in Austin, and Josh was in Iowa. They were both cycling 4,000 miles from San Francisco to DC as part of a charity event called Journey of Hope, an organization that was founded by their shared fraternity (although Adam and Josh were in different college chapters) raising money and awareness for people living with disabilities. "We were both in the closet at the time," said Adam. "Along our 4,000 mile trip, we became good friends and kept in touch via social media afterward." Two years later, Josh moved to Dallas and in 2013, on a chance meeting out in Dallas, they ran into each other. "We have been together ever since," summarized Josh.

Kids were always part of the plan for the dads-to-be, and after the televised proposal and a wedding in October, 2016, the dads embarked on their adoption journey. "We always knew that adoption was the path we wanted to take," said Josh. "There are so many amazing children out there who need a loving and supportive home, we just knew adoption was the best option for us."

Adam and Josh spent roughly a little over a year researching different agencies. They encountered one agency who politely declined to work with them due to their "non-traditional" marriage, but they were happy to look elsewhere. "[We wanted] an agency that would believe in us and support us on our path to adoption," said Adam, and they successfully found one in Texas that specialized in infant adoptions. The husbands completed their home study in June 2018.

The biggest hurdle Adam and Josh faced was their own emotions during the adoption process. "As case after case was presented to us and was either not a match or the birth mom chose another family, in the moment plowing through those emotional walls was difficult," explained Adam. It wasn't until their daughter was placed with them that they were able to look back at the emotional times as if they were a distance memory.

On Christmas Eve 2018, Adam and Josh received a call from their adoption agency. One hour earlier a baby girl had entered the world and the birth mother was going to being presented with multiple adoptive family profiles, including Adam and Josh's, the following day. "We were extremely excited about the possibility that this could be our daughter, however, at that time we had to be cautiously optimistic as we did not know if the birth mother would choose us." They called their parents but told them not to get their hopes up just yet.

Christmas Day, Josh was at home with his mind "going in a million directions," while Adam had volunteered to work the statutory holiday (he's a Physical Therapist) in the hope that next Christmas he could be home with their future child. "It was the most distracted day of work ever," recalled Adam.

At 8:04pm on Christmas Day, they received a call from the director of the adoption agency. Baby K's birth mother had chosen them.

"Words cannot describe the excitement and emotions we felt in that moment," said Adam. "Knowing that we were about to be fathers... in a matter of hours!"

Adam with Baby K

For Christmas from their parents, the dads had received a car seat, stroller and crib, along with some of the larger items their future baby would need, so their nursery had just the essentials. Over the next 48 hours, upon hearing the news, friends and family began sending Amazon boxes full of supplies for the dads and gifts for Baby K. On December 26, they drove to Austin to meet Baby K, and picked up some essentials from Target on the way - Josh laughed at Adam because his list of essential items included a Unicorn outfit.

When they arrived at the hospital, Josh and Adam were greeted by the social worker. "We were extremely nervous but overwhelmingly happy the moment we walked into the hospital room," said Josh. "From the moment we laid eyes on Baby K we were filled with an unexplainable feeling of love and joy that we had never felt before." The drive back to Dallas was the longest and most cautious 3 hour drive of this family's life.

Josh with Baby K

Since becoming dads, Josh and Adam have grown so much as individuals as well as strengthening their own bond as a married couple. This has meant less time at the gym or at brunches, and more time at home. "We find ourselves wanting to spend every second possibly together learning our new normal and role as parents and seeing our baby constantly growing, changing, and meaning new things," said Josh. "It's just magical!"

Josh and Adam are currently updating the birth mother every month with pictures and news via a secure portal. Their current plan is to met once a year in-person. "We truly feel that we made a connection with the birth mother that day in the hospital and have so much respect for the decision and sacrifice that she made," said Adam.

As the dads learn more about their new life and their daughter every day, they're in awe of realizing their dream to be parents. "To anyone wishing to pursue adoption, know that it is possible and it is truly a beautiful gift not only for you and your spouse, but also to that child that you are bringing into your home," said Adam. "It can be an emotionally trying process but my husband and I would do it again in a heartbeat!"

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Gay Dad Life

A Gay Dad Wonders: What Will the 'Roaring Twenties' Bring?

Jim Joseph says he's looking forward to "moving forward in 2020" and in the decade to come!

The Roaring Twenties are upon us, and with the new decade comes great anticipation.

I remember as a kid that whenever a new decade came, it felt like "out with the old and in with the new." It seemed like pop culture and the way of doing things suddenly shifted. Witness 1979 into 1980 and the dawn of a new era in music, fashion, entertainment, and culture. Same with 1989 into 1990. Bam!

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A Gay Chiropractor Explains Why He Came Out to His Patients

After Cameron Call, a chiropractor, came out to his family this past year, he knew he had one more step to take — he had to come out to his patients

Fear is an interesting thing. It motivates when it shouldn't, shows at inconvenient times, and is the author of stories that do nothing but hold us back. I would argue though, too, that fear has some good qualities. I believe it helps us to feel. And I think it can be a great teacher as we learn to recognize and face it.

For years fear prevented me from embracing my truth and accepting a large part of who I am. I know I am not alone in that regard. But for so long my fear convinced me that I was. Fear is what kept me from ever telling my parents or anyone growing up that I am gay. Fear mingled with strong religious teachings, embraced at a young age, which led me to believe that I could cure myself of my attractions to the same gender. And fear is a part of what kept me in my marriage to a woman for over ten years.

Only so much growth and learning can occur when we limit ourselves to our fears. If people never did anything they were afraid to do, life would be incredibly boring and far too predictable. At some point we must face the things we fear and just go for it not knowing what will happen next.

After finally coming out to my ex-wife after ten years of marriage (see previous articles for that story), and eventually telling my family I knew there was one more step I needed to make.

I am a business owner. I am a structural chiropractor and am highly specialized in my field. Nearly four years ago I opened my own clinic, Horizon Chiropractic Center, in Phoenix, Arizona. I poured my whole heart, body, and soul into the creation of my practice and its growth. Opening a business fresh out of school is no simple task and I worked hard to build my practice with close relationships and word of mouth referrals. I established myself as an expert and built a strong reputation as a family man, and my ex-wife and kids were the face of my practice.

I loved and do love every person who has ever come into my office and treat them like family. We laugh together during visits, celebrate wins, cry together, often hug, and cheer each other on regarding various things in our life. That's also a large part of who I am: a people person. I enjoy spending quality time with those I am privileged to help. No one comes in my office and only sees me for 2-5 minutes.

Even though there was so much good that I had built into my brand and reputation fear eventually found its way into my business too. I was afraid of what would happen if people found out the truth. Would they be okay with having a gay chiropractor? Would they still trust me to be able to help them? Of course, the story in my head I was telling myself was much bigger and badder than it needed to be.

When we decided to get a divorce, I felt strongly that I needed to face these fears and begin telling a number of patients the truth of what was happening in my life. I know in reality it is no one's business but my own. However, I felt like I needed to let my patients who had become like family to me truly see me for who I am, and who I always was. And so slowly, case by case, I began to tell a select number of people.

I'll never forget the first patient I told. She had been coming in for years and was bringing her son in to see me who is on the autism spectrum. It was the day after my ex-wife and I decided to get a divorce and she could tell something heavy was on my mind. I eventually came out to her. The first words out of her mouth were "I am so proud of you!" We cried and hugged and it was the complete opposite of what I ever expected. And it was perfect. I felt loved. I felt accepted. I felt seen.

As time went on it got easier. And overall the responses were all completely positive and supportive. Out of all the patients I told and those who found out from other circles, only three stopped coming in to see me. Since coming out, my office has grown tremendously. My reputation hasn't changed. If anything, it's solidified. I can't help but think that part of that is due to finally embracing all of me and allowing others the same opportunity.

I read somewhere once that you never really stop coming out of the closet. And I've noticed that too. Sure, not everyone needs to know; it isn't everyone's business. And I hope that one day we live in a time period where fear doesn't prevent anyone from being seen. I want to contribute to the upward trajectory I think our society is headed of understanding, acceptance, support, and equality.

I would love to be able to say that after coming out publicly I no longer feel fear; but I do. And I think in some ways I always will no matter what. But that's part of life, right? Recognizing fear when we have it but then choosing to move forward out of love – love for others, but maybe more importantly love for ourselves.

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Janno relocated to London earlier than Matthias, when he was 24, and his main reason for the move was his sexuality. "Although Estonia is considered one of the more progressive countries in Eastern Europe, when it comes to gay rights, it is still decades behind Western society in terms of tolerance," said Janno. "And things are not moving in the right direction." In 2016, same-sex civil union became legal, but the junior party in the current coalition government is seeking to repeal the same-sex partnership bill. "In addition," Janno continued, "they wish to include the definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman in the country's constitution. Even today, there are people in Estonia who liken homosexuality to pedophilia, which is why I decided to start a new life in the UK, where I could finally be myself."

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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