Gay Dad Life

These Gay Dads Know How to Make Holidays Extra Super Special

Adam and Josh got engaged on Good Morning America on Valentines Day, and welcomed their Christmas miracle baby into their lives on December 26th

Picture this: Valentine's Day 2015, Adam and Josh Klocke were among 24 other couples ice skating in Bryant Park as part of a Good Morning America segment. Lara Spencer was hosting while Christina Perri sang "A Thousand Years" on top of a piano. Midway through, she stopped and Lara reported technical difficulties. This was the cue that the knowing members of each couple had been waiting for. They each dropped to one knee and asked for their partner's hand in marriage. Adam recalls, "It was such an amazing experience that we will never forget." 18 months later, they were married.

While their engagement was a life-changing experience, another for the husbands was welcoming their Christmas miracle, Baby K, via adoption on December 26, 2018. She was just two days old. Here's their story.


Adam (left) and Josh holding Baby K in her carseat

Adam and Josh's journey began over 10 years ago, when they met in San Francisco. Adam was living in Austin, and Josh was in Iowa. They were both cycling 4,000 miles from San Francisco to DC as part of a charity event called Journey of Hope, an organization that was founded by their shared fraternity (although Adam and Josh were in different college chapters) raising money and awareness for people living with disabilities. "We were both in the closet at the time," said Adam. "Along our 4,000 mile trip, we became good friends and kept in touch via social media afterward." Two years later, Josh moved to Dallas and in 2013, on a chance meeting out in Dallas, they ran into each other. "We have been together ever since," summarized Josh.

Kids were always part of the plan for the dads-to-be, and after the televised proposal and a wedding in October, 2016, the dads embarked on their adoption journey. "We always knew that adoption was the path we wanted to take," said Josh. "There are so many amazing children out there who need a loving and supportive home, we just knew adoption was the best option for us."

Adam and Josh spent roughly a little over a year researching different agencies. They encountered one agency who politely declined to work with them due to their "non-traditional" marriage, but they were happy to look elsewhere. "[We wanted] an agency that would believe in us and support us on our path to adoption," said Adam, and they successfully found one in Texas that specialized in infant adoptions. The husbands completed their home study in June 2018.

The biggest hurdle Adam and Josh faced was their own emotions during the adoption process. "As case after case was presented to us and was either not a match or the birth mom chose another family, in the moment plowing through those emotional walls was difficult," explained Adam. It wasn't until their daughter was placed with them that they were able to look back at the emotional times as if they were a distance memory.

On Christmas Eve 2018, Adam and Josh received a call from their adoption agency. One hour earlier a baby girl had entered the world and the birth mother was going to being presented with multiple adoptive family profiles, including Adam and Josh's, the following day. "We were extremely excited about the possibility that this could be our daughter, however, at that time we had to be cautiously optimistic as we did not know if the birth mother would choose us." They called their parents but told them not to get their hopes up just yet.

Christmas Day, Josh was at home with his mind "going in a million directions," while Adam had volunteered to work the statutory holiday (he's a Physical Therapist) in the hope that next Christmas he could be home with their future child. "It was the most distracted day of work ever," recalled Adam.

At 8:04pm on Christmas Day, they received a call from the director of the adoption agency. Baby K's birth mother had chosen them.

"Words cannot describe the excitement and emotions we felt in that moment," said Adam. "Knowing that we were about to be fathers... in a matter of hours!"

Adam with Baby K

For Christmas from their parents, the dads had received a car seat, stroller and crib, along with some of the larger items their future baby would need, so their nursery had just the essentials. Over the next 48 hours, upon hearing the news, friends and family began sending Amazon boxes full of supplies for the dads and gifts for Baby K. On December 26, they drove to Austin to meet Baby K, and picked up some essentials from Target on the way - Josh laughed at Adam because his list of essential items included a Unicorn outfit.

When they arrived at the hospital, Josh and Adam were greeted by the social worker. "We were extremely nervous but overwhelmingly happy the moment we walked into the hospital room," said Josh. "From the moment we laid eyes on Baby K we were filled with an unexplainable feeling of love and joy that we had never felt before." The drive back to Dallas was the longest and most cautious 3 hour drive of this family's life.

Josh with Baby K

Since becoming dads, Josh and Adam have grown so much as individuals as well as strengthening their own bond as a married couple. This has meant less time at the gym or at brunches, and more time at home. "We find ourselves wanting to spend every second possibly together learning our new normal and role as parents and seeing our baby constantly growing, changing, and meaning new things," said Josh. "It's just magical!"

Josh and Adam are currently updating the birth mother every month with pictures and news via a secure portal. Their current plan is to met once a year in-person. "We truly feel that we made a connection with the birth mother that day in the hospital and have so much respect for the decision and sacrifice that she made," said Adam.

As the dads learn more about their new life and their daughter every day, they're in awe of realizing their dream to be parents. "To anyone wishing to pursue adoption, know that it is possible and it is truly a beautiful gift not only for you and your spouse, but also to that child that you are bringing into your home," said Adam. "It can be an emotionally trying process but my husband and I would do it again in a heartbeat!"

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Gay Dad Life

'NolaPapa' Launches YouTube Channel: Story of a Gay Dad

Check out Erik Alexander's new YouTune Channel: Story of a Gay Dad

When we first found out that our second daughter was African American I froze. Not because of her race, but because I knew NOTHING about African American hair. So I frantically tried to learn as much as I could while she was a newborn so I was ready to style it when she was a little older.

I decided to launch our YouTube channel Nolapapa: Story of a Gay Dad to focus on this very topic! Episodes 1-5 will solely be dedicated to learning how to wash, care for and styling African American hair. Afterwards, the content will shift towards personal & family situations, adoption, gay parenting questions and other great content! I'd love your support and become part of our little village as we launch this new project!

Sending Nola love to each of ya!

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Gay Dad Life

Encouraged by His Son, Single Dad Richard Started Dating Again — and Just Got Married!

After his 14 year relationship ended, Richard got a gentle push into the dating pool from an unexpected source — his son!

In 2014, Richard Rothman's relationship of 15 years ended, leaving him understandably reluctant to jump back into the world of dating as a single gay dad. But after spending one too many Friday nights at home, he got a gentle nudge from somebody unexpected —his teenaged son, Jonathan.

"Dad," Jonathan said. "Would you just get out of the house and go on a date already?" (You may remember wise-beyond-his-years Jonathan from this post that went viral of a tattoo he got commemorating his adoption day.)

On his son's encouragement, Richard started dipping a tentative toe back into the dating pool. In 2015, he met Kevin thanks to mutual friends that introduced them via social media. It took four months before Richard introduced Kevin to his son, who was a Sophomore in high school at the time.

On New Year's Eve in 2017, Kevin proposed while the couple was vacationing in Palm Springs. The city has an outdoor festival every year, he explained, which the couple attended. The band Plain White T's happened to be performing their hit "Hey There Delilah" as Kevin got down on one knee and proposed. "Now whenever I hear that song it brings back memories of that night," Richard said.

Richard and Kevin married on March 30, 2019 back at the scene of the crime — in Palm Springs, at the Frederick Loewe Estate. Jonathan was Richard's best man, and also walked him down the aisle (awwww.....). Kevin's brother Bobby served as his best man.

"As so many wonderful moments continue to happen for us in Palm Springs, we now own a home there in addition to our primary residence in Bentonville, Arkansas," said Richard.

Check out video from the couple's special day below!


And Jonathan is now an E4 Master-at-Arms in the US Navy.

Gay Uncles

Gay Uncles are an Essential Part of This Gay Dad Family's Village

It takes a village to raise a child, and this village includes many gay uncles

In November last year, Ottawa-based husbands Matt Ottaviani and Rej Gareau (whose story we shared in July) became first-time dads through surrogacy. They were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Andy and become a family of three.

But as many of us know, raising a child isn't always just about the nuclear family. The African proverb "it takes a village to raise a child" is a commonly repeated phrase, and rings very true for many families. Matt and Rej are no different, and when they shared their story last month, one thing jumped out to us: the important role Andy's guncles play in her and her dads' lives.

In honor of Gay Uncles Day today, we reached out to Andy's many guncles to learn first-hand how their relationship with the family affects their lives. Here's what they had to say.

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

Pics of the Moment Before and After Gay Men Become Dads

Dig through your phones — what was the last pic taken of you BEFORE you became a dad?

We all have THAT photo: the one taken moments after we become fathers for the first time. For some of us, we're doing "skin to skin" in a delivery room. For others, we're standing proudly alongside our newly adopted child and judge in a courtroom. However or wherever it happens, though, we make sure to snap a picture of it.

But what about that last photo BEFORE you first became a dad? What does that image look like, we wondered? Well, we asked our Instagram community to dig through through phones and find out. Some of us are enjoying a last carefree meal or glass of wine, others of us are captured nervously contemplating our futures. Whatever it is, we've decided these BEFORE pictures are just as meaningful.

Enjoy some of our favorites! Want to play along? Dig through your phones and send us your pics to dads@gayswithkids.com!

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Entertainment

Gay Dad in Sundance's 'Brittany Runs a Marathon' is Relatable AF

Sundance hit "Brittany Runs a Marathon" stars a gay dad trying to get in shape.

Who would make for the best marathon training partner for an overweight, overly boozed 27-year-old woman? A gay dad, of course!

The pairing, for any gay man who has been subjected to impossible beauty standards (not unlike... literally all women?) makes a bit too much sense after watching the new Sundance film, "Brittany Runs a Marathon," starring SNL writer Jillian Bell (as the 27-year-old) and Micah Stock as the (somewhat *ahem* older) gay dad.

Based on a true story, the film follows Brittany, an overweight and over-boozed 20-something, trying to clean up her act by training for the New York City marathon — while doing so, she meets Seth (the gay dad), and the two begin to train together, along with Brittany's neighbor Catherine. Each has their own motivation for running: getting one's live together, recovering from a messy divorce, or an attempt to impress one's athletic son. (Which is the gay dad? Guess you'll have to watch to find out!)

We won't give too much more away, apart from saying that the trio — based off of actual people and events — really works. It's the feel good film you're waiting to see.

Expert Advice

Your 15 Most Common Questions About Adoption, Answered by an Expert

We asked our Instagram community for their biggest questions about adoption. Then asked Molly Rampe Thomas of Choice Network to answer them.

As part of our new "Ask an Expert" series on Instagram, our community of dads and dads-to-be sent us their questions on adoption in the United States. Molly Rampe Thomas, founder of Choice Network, answered them.

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Popular

'Life Is Amazing': Congrats to Gay Dads Whose Families Recently Grew!

Help us congratulate gay dads on their recent births and adoptions last month!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in the last month or so a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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