Gay Dad Life

These Gay Dads Know How to Make Holidays Extra Super Special

Adam and Josh got engaged on Good Morning America on Valentines Day, and welcomed their Christmas miracle baby into their lives on December 26th

Picture this: Valentine's Day 2015, Adam and Josh Klocke were among 24 other couples ice skating in Bryant Park as part of a Good Morning America segment. Lara Spencer was hosting while Christina Perri sang "A Thousand Years" on top of a piano. Midway through, she stopped and Lara reported technical difficulties. This was the cue that the knowing members of each couple had been waiting for. They each dropped to one knee and asked for their partner's hand in marriage. Adam recalls, "It was such an amazing experience that we will never forget." 18 months later, they were married.

While their engagement was a life-changing experience, another for the husbands was welcoming their Christmas miracle, Baby K, via adoption on December 26, 2018. She was just two days old. Here's their story.


Adam (left) and Josh holding Baby K in her carseat

Adam and Josh's journey began over 10 years ago, when they met in San Francisco. Adam was living in Austin, and Josh was in Iowa. They were both cycling 4,000 miles from San Francisco to DC as part of a charity event called Journey of Hope, an organization that was founded by their shared fraternity (although Adam and Josh were in different college chapters) raising money and awareness for people living with disabilities. "We were both in the closet at the time," said Adam. "Along our 4,000 mile trip, we became good friends and kept in touch via social media afterward." Two years later, Josh moved to Dallas and in 2013, on a chance meeting out in Dallas, they ran into each other. "We have been together ever since," summarized Josh.

Kids were always part of the plan for the dads-to-be, and after the televised proposal and a wedding in October, 2016, the dads embarked on their adoption journey. "We always knew that adoption was the path we wanted to take," said Josh. "There are so many amazing children out there who need a loving and supportive home, we just knew adoption was the best option for us."

Adam and Josh spent roughly a little over a year researching different agencies. They encountered one agency who politely declined to work with them due to their "non-traditional" marriage, but they were happy to look elsewhere. "[We wanted] an agency that would believe in us and support us on our path to adoption," said Adam, and they successfully found one in Texas that specialized in infant adoptions. The husbands completed their home study in June 2018.

The biggest hurdle Adam and Josh faced was their own emotions during the adoption process. "As case after case was presented to us and was either not a match or the birth mom chose another family, in the moment plowing through those emotional walls was difficult," explained Adam. It wasn't until their daughter was placed with them that they were able to look back at the emotional times as if they were a distance memory.

On Christmas Eve 2018, Adam and Josh received a call from their adoption agency. One hour earlier a baby girl had entered the world and the birth mother was going to being presented with multiple adoptive family profiles, including Adam and Josh's, the following day. "We were extremely excited about the possibility that this could be our daughter, however, at that time we had to be cautiously optimistic as we did not know if the birth mother would choose us." They called their parents but told them not to get their hopes up just yet.

Christmas Day, Josh was at home with his mind "going in a million directions," while Adam had volunteered to work the statutory holiday (he's a Physical Therapist) in the hope that next Christmas he could be home with their future child. "It was the most distracted day of work ever," recalled Adam.

At 8:04pm on Christmas Day, they received a call from the director of the adoption agency. Baby K's birth mother had chosen them.

"Words cannot describe the excitement and emotions we felt in that moment," said Adam. "Knowing that we were about to be fathers... in a matter of hours!"

Adam with Baby K

For Christmas from their parents, the dads had received a car seat, stroller and crib, along with some of the larger items their future baby would need, so their nursery had just the essentials. Over the next 48 hours, upon hearing the news, friends and family began sending Amazon boxes full of supplies for the dads and gifts for Baby K. On December 26, they drove to Austin to meet Baby K, and picked up some essentials from Target on the way - Josh laughed at Adam because his list of essential items included a Unicorn outfit.

When they arrived at the hospital, Josh and Adam were greeted by the social worker. "We were extremely nervous but overwhelmingly happy the moment we walked into the hospital room," said Josh. "From the moment we laid eyes on Baby K we were filled with an unexplainable feeling of love and joy that we had never felt before." The drive back to Dallas was the longest and most cautious 3 hour drive of this family's life.

Josh with Baby K

Since becoming dads, Josh and Adam have grown so much as individuals as well as strengthening their own bond as a married couple. This has meant less time at the gym or at brunches, and more time at home. "We find ourselves wanting to spend every second possibly together learning our new normal and role as parents and seeing our baby constantly growing, changing, and meaning new things," said Josh. "It's just magical!"

Josh and Adam are currently updating the birth mother every month with pictures and news via a secure portal. Their current plan is to met once a year in-person. "We truly feel that we made a connection with the birth mother that day in the hospital and have so much respect for the decision and sacrifice that she made," said Adam.

As the dads learn more about their new life and their daughter every day, they're in awe of realizing their dream to be parents. "To anyone wishing to pursue adoption, know that it is possible and it is truly a beautiful gift not only for you and your spouse, but also to that child that you are bringing into your home," said Adam. "It can be an emotionally trying process but my husband and I would do it again in a heartbeat!"

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Gay Dad Life

How Canada's 'Gay Dollar' Helped This Gay Man Reflect on His Biggest Regret—Not Having Kids

Canada unveiled a 'gay dollar' coin earlier this year, helping Gregory Walters reflect on the progress the LGBTQ community has made—and his decision to forgo having children children

Earlier this year, Canada unveiled a rainbow-stripped coin dollar to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the country's decision to decriminalize homosexuality. With the coins now firmly in circulation, Gregory Walters, who lives in Vancouver, wrote a moving essay for the Globe and Mail, expressing joy for how far Canada has come on the issue of gay rights, but how the coin is also a symbolic representation of the "greatest regret" of his life—his decision not to adopt children.

Gregory writes that he had hoped to adopt a child ever since his early career working with persons with developmental disabilities. "Several children I worked with were wards of the State of Texas," he wrote. "Their parents having relinquished all rights either owing to egregious acts of abuse or a lack of desire to raise someone with so many needs. There were days when I felt, 'If I could just take you home and raise you.' I knew there was a need for adopting persons with special needs but my own internalized homophobia got in the way yet again. Despite what is probably my own gift in working with children, I never felt worthy enough to be a parent. I always felt that if I were a gay dad it would create more of a liability for the child."

Gregory decision to forgo having children, he says, is his "greatest regret." While he takes responsibility for some of this decision, he also adds: "society's view of homosexuals and its opinions regarding gay adoptions also played a major part."

To critics of Canada's coin, some of who have said its a cheap political pander to the LGBTQ community, Gregory concludes with this thought:

"I don't care if the indulged majority who never had to question marriage or raising children or being secure in a job may feel the coin is frivolous. The coin isn't for them in the first place. It's an acknowledgment for those of us who repressed our true selves and felt oppressed. It is for gays who never lived to see rights and protections enshrined in law. It is for younger LGBTQ people to learn more about how far we've come and to gain a deeper sense of gay pride. For these reasons, the coin has value so much greater than any monetary designation. The coin represents both empowerment and normalization."

Read Gregory's full essay here.

Gay Dad Life

8 Pics of Ricky Martin Being an Adorable Dad Because Why Not?

Here's some pics of Ricky Martin being an adorable dad because we've ALL had a long week and deserve this don't we??

Earlier this year, in January 2019, superstar Ricky Martin and his husband Jwan Yosef shared a post via Instagram announcing that they'd welcomed a baby girl named Lucia into their family. With twin 9-year-old sons in the house as well, Ricky and Jwan now have a very full casa. Fortunately, the dads are giving us a little glimpse into their chaotic but fun-filled home lives via Instagram. We rounded up 8 of our fav recent parenting pics by the popstar because we've all had long weeks and we deserve this don't we??

Enjoy!

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Gay Dad Life

17 T.V. Shows Featuring Gay Dad Characters

Gay dads are all the rage on the small screen these days... here are 17 shows that prominently feature gay dad characters!

The 2019-2020 TV season will soon be upon us! In recent years, gay dad characters have been all the rage... will we see more representation this fall? We sure hope so! But in the meantime, we'll be content reviewing this list of 17 shows that have (somewhat) prominently featured gay dad characters!

Also we KNOW we're missing some, so drop us a line in the comments to tell us what we should add!

1. Grace & Frankie

In this Netflix original series, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston play gay dads who come out to their wives and children well past their primes. Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda play the ex-wives, rounding out the star-studded cast. Now in its fourth season, the show has been well received and sheds an interesting light on the complications involved with fathers who come out later in life.

Entertainment

How Fatherhood Has Impacted Tom Daley's Diving Career for the Better

British diver Tom Daley, and new-ish gay dad, is looking to qualify for the 2020 Olympics in South Korea.

British diver Tom Daley is currently in the running to qualify for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics in South Korea, his fourth if he competes, at the young age of just 26.

But he also has another concern that most young gay men his age couldn't fathom—fatherhood. He and his husband, filmmaker Dustin Lance Black, recently welcomed Robbie Ray via surrogacy in June 2018.

In an interview with the Independent, Daley explained how fatherhood has changed his routine and training, which he says is often for the better.

"It has changed my life completely in all of the best ways possible," Daley said. "It has changed my perspective, the way I think about things. [My son] is the most important thing in my life, everything I do is for him, everything I think about he is at the forefront of everything."

With respect to his diving career, Daley continued, "if you have a bad day at training, or a good day, you are grounded immediately when you get home through the door because you are having cuddles or you are having to change a dirty nappy. It is the first time that I have been able to leave diving at the diving board and not think about what I need to the next day in the pool."

Whatever the challenges he faces while training, he said, "I can leave it there because you don't have time to think about diving when you are looking after a kid under one."

The strategy seems to be working in Daley's favor. He recently enjoyed his most successful FINA Diving World Series ever this past Spring in Canada, winning 12 medals across five events. And barring any major catastrophe, he is overwhelmingly expected to qualify for South Korea 2020.

And we can't wait to cheer the young dad on!

Change the World

One Gay Dad's Fight Against Hate in Superior, Nebraska

Brian Splater is refusing to let homophobic and transphobic elected officials in his town go unchecked

Millie B. Photography

Guest post written by Brian Splater

No one ever should feel they will have a very lonely and secluded life as a child. But that is something me and many other gay kids believe as they are growing up.

The truth of the matter is there are people who will try everything in their power to have our rights go back in time instead of forward. It is very disheartening when these people are elected officials, or they are people who use their place of employment to spread their disgust and hate.

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Politics

America's First Gay Dad Governor Heads Into the Lion's Den

Colorado Governor Jared Polis recently became the first elected Democrat to speak at the annual Western Conservative Summit in Denver

Last Friday, American's first gay dad Governor, Jared Polis, became the first elected Democrat to speak at the Western Conservative Summit in Denver, where he urged the Republican crowd to help him build a "Colorado for all."

"While we should never gloss over the things that divide us, there is a lot more that unites us," Polis said. "When we close ourselves off from discussion or debate, and we reject the possibility of hearing and understanding other perspectives, it threatens the fabric of our democracy."

If he was hoping for a Kumbaya moment, he didn't exactly get it. As he was called to the stage, he was greeted with a smattering of applause—while others booed and shouted for a "recall" of the Governor.

"It was almost unbearable for me to sit there to listen to his talk," Abby Johnson, one of the event's attendees, told the Denver Post. "And I'm going to tell you why. He kept talking about equality for all persons, yet we live in a society where 60 million innocent human beings have been slaughtered in the name of choice. Where is their justice? Where is their equal rights?"

Polis was also criticized from his left flank for attending the same event that refuses to let the Log Cabin Republicans, a group of gay GOP members, participate—and that featured Donald Trump Jr. as a speaker the same day. "To me it feels like vanity," Katie Farnan, a staffer with progressive group Indivisible, told the Denver Post. "He can go and be a hip Democratic governor who isn't afraid to go into GOP sanctuary. Or maybe it's recall insurance. But unless he was there to hold them accountable for their support for fascist and racist policies, what's the point?"

In response to the criticism from both sides of the political aisle, Polis told the Colorado Sun: "I think it's very important that Coloradans of different ideologies, different races, different geographies, different orientations and gender identities all really celebrate that we're all part of what makes Colorado great."

The event is hosted each year by Colorado Christian University to bring together conservatives from around the state, and the larger West.

What do you think, dads? Was Polis's decision to speak at the event a savvy political move or mere pandering?

Entertainment

Hate Group Boycotts 'Toy Story' for Featuring Lesbian Moms—Hilarity Ensues on Twitter

"One Million Moms" announced a boycott of the latest Toy Story movie for *very briefly* featuring lesbian moms. Twitter's response was swift and hilarious.

One Million Moms, which is affiliated with the anti-LGBTQ American Family Association, recently called for a boycott of Toy Story 4 for (very, very briefly) featuring (interracial!) lesbian moms in the animated film. The angry, hateful moms affiliated with this group must have watched the film VERY closely because you could easily blink and miss the moment that apparently "blindsided" viewers.

The Internet reacted with a collective facepalm to the ridiculous boycott. Here are some of our favorite hilarious Twitter reactions to the hateful group:

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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