It started when a four-year-old boy asked a clown, who had been hired to paint the faces of kids at a picnic, a simple question:
"Can I have a blue butterfly?"
The clown was happy to oblige, but before she could, the boy's mother stepped in. "Give him something for boys," she said, demanding her son receive a skull and crossbones instead.
The clown, who goes by @boguspress on Twitter, broke down the interaction in a series of viral tweets that show, in her words, how boys are taught that "anger and violence" are the only things they are allowed to experience.
As gay men and fathers, it's not hard to identify with this four-year-old boy. That blue butterfly could represent any number of other factors deemed failures of masculinity. The impulse that leads a mother to scold her son for embracing something beautiful is the same one that admonishes us for loving another man, marrying another man, raising a child with another man.
So props to this brave clown for publicly taking on something so unfunny, and to that little boy who just gave us this awesome new symbol for bringing down the patriarchy! Read the full series of tweets below:
It starts young. And it's more than just letting boys play with guns, it's how we shame them for feeling anything that isn't anger.
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
A 4yo boy asked me to paint a blue butterfly on his face. Then his mom told me "no, he doesn't want that."
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
"Butterflies are beautiful, he said that's what he wants, shouldn't I paint what he wants?"
"No give him something for boys"— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
She turns to dad, a big guy in a jersey, and says accusingly,
"Do you want your son to have a butterfly on his face?"
He says "No."— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
Which, cool, let's bring your husbands masculinity into it too. Because your 4yo kid needs to know that his father would be ashamed too
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
I really tried you guys, but this woman was so scared of her son wanting a butterfly she made me paint a skull and crossbones on his cheek.
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
When I finished the skull I said to kiddo
"You want a little blue butterfly too?"
He nods.
Mom interrupts "You didn't ask me."— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
I say in my kindest fuck you voice
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was for HIM."
"I'm his MOTHER. You need to ask me." She says.— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
"SORRY." I say and wave good bye to the kid. And I am. I'm sorry that he is not allowed to love something as miraculous and beautiful as a
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
I'm sorry that he was shamed for wanting to share in the joy that is the miracle and wonder of nature.
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
I see this all the time. And I really feel for these boys, because the girls don't get it as bad. Being a tomboy is slightly more normalized
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
And when girls want skulls or sharks the parents shrug and laugh like "haha she's a kooky kid!" Because maleness and masculinity isn't a sin
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
But when a boy want to enjoy something for its beauty, they are told it's not for them. Not in this house. Not in this family.
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
We are teaching them that anger & violence r the only things they are allowed to experience. That to value beauty & elegance is shameful
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
So the next time you are incredulous about how the govt could shut down our national parks, or build the pipeline, or nuke the planet...
— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
Think about what this four year old boy asked for
And what he got ☠️— Sanduhruh (@boguspress) August 12, 2017
