Gay Dad Life

After Fatherhood Eludes Him Once, Marco Waits His Turn

Marco-Stefano is 33 years old, from the Netherlands, works as a store manager and also as a fashion designer. Someday he'd love to be a father and to share that dream with another man. Years ago, he and his then-boyfriend had come close to becoming parents through surrogacy. But after his boyfriend's brush with cancer, their plans were put on hold. The relationship unfortunately didn't last.

The biggest thing holding Marco-Stefano back right now, he says, is going it alone. We spoke with him to see where he is on his road to fatherhood.


Tell us about your preferred path to parenthood. Adoption or surrogacy. For me this was only the option I thought it was more for me (and my former partner) I had the offer to be a donor for some friends... but I don't want to be a weekend papa... I'm always open for other options.

Have you found enough information about your preferred path to parenthood? I have only found information on the internet and at a clinic.

Marco-Stefano with his mother and role model

What do you think is your biggest obstacle to becoming a dad? I think my biggest obstacle is that i am single now. I would love to have a partner to share this together, but it's hard. In the dating scene not everybody is thrilled to maybe one day be a parent. But I'm open and positive that it can be good.

What steps have you taken towards becoming a dad? A few years ago when I was still with my former partner we talked about what I was missing in my life. I said I dreamt of becoming a father one day and to start a family. We looked at the possibilities, like adoption or IVF. We went to an IVF clinic in Belgium to get more information, and I talked with some friends who wanted to carry the child for us. Unfortunately a few months later he was diagnosed with lymph cancer, so my priority was his health first. After a long battle with chemo and many visits to the hospital he survived, but our relationship didn't and we broke up after 8 years together.

What fears or concerns do you have about becoming a dad? Does your sexuality/gender identity play into those fears? I think the fear I have is with the outside world; it can be cruel sometimes, especially for a kid with same-sex parents. But if that's only my fear and my kids are okay with it, then I can learn from them.

What most excites you about becoming a dad? I hear from new parents who've had babies that they only sleep, cry, drink and poop and that you would have little sleep. I can't wait to experience this!! And to see them grow to teens and then adults, and that you always have their back with love and support.

How soon do you hope to start your family? That depends if it's destiny to have kids. It's up to time and the gods to decide.

Marco-Stefano is a wonderful and patient babysitter ... ;)

What are you most looking for in a potential partner? For me, personally, it would be someone who is ambitious, romantic and passionate. It's give and take, and that no matter what, we always fight for each other when needed and to share our love with each other and hopefully our family.

As a gay man who wants children one day, what is dating like for you? Difficult, because I make it perfectly clear that I'm not into one-night-stands. I'm open to something serious, but when talking about the future and hopefully to have kids someday, it doesn't match sometimes with their future plans.

Would you consider becoming a single dad? If so, what are your biggest concerns about becoming a single dad? This is an option I've thought about already for a long long time. I always had bad luck in my love life so maybe it's not for me. The kid(s) would have infinite love from me, my only concern is that financially it can be a struggle to raise them all alone.

Answers slightly edited for clarity.

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Gay Dad Life

Karamo Brown Co-Writes Children's Book with Son, Jason

The 'Queer Eye' star and his son named the story on a family mantra: You are Perfectly Designed

When his sons, Jason and Chris, were young, "Queer Eye" Star Karamo Brown repeated the same saying to them: "You are perfectly designed."

That mantra is now a Children's Book, cowritten by Karamo and his 22-year-old son, Jason, who used to come how and "say things like, 'I don't want to be me, I wish I was someone else, I wish I had a different life." As a parent, that "broke my heart," Karamo told Yahoo! Lifestyle. "I would say to him, 'You are blessed and you are perfect just the way you are,' as a reminder that you have been given so much and you should be appreciative and know that you're enough — I know that the world will try to tear you down, but if you can say to yourself, 'I am perfectly designed,' maybe it can quiet out some of those negative messages."

The illustrations, by Anoosha Syed, also make a point of displaying families of a variety of races and sexual orientations throughout the book.

Read more about Karamo's fascinating path to becoming a gay dad here, and then check out the video below that delves deeper into the inspiration behind "You Are Perfectly Designed," available on Amazon.



Gay Dad Life

The Suburban Gay Dad

Are you intimidated by the suburbs? This gay dad was — but then he moved there.

In a recent article for Yahoo! Lifestyle, Steve Jacobs says the thought of living in the suburbs as a gay dad "intimidated" him. But when he started fantasizing about garages, he began to question that notion. Any apprehension he had soon evaporated, he said, one winter morning while trying to navigate the snowy streets of New York City with a stroller.

While "pushing the stroller through snow banks and pools of slush with snowflakes stinging our faces," he wrote, "a vision came to me: I pictured us walking into a garage, hopping into a car, and arriving at a diner with 10 times less drama. This image planted the seed of moving to the 'burbs that I couldn't shake."

Soon, the family of four found a house in a town a half hour outside the city. "It had grass and a beautiful yard for our spirited kiddos. The schools were good. There were even good restaurants. The only red flag: Census data estimated only 0.1 percent of the population was gay male."

There were some "growing pains" while trying to make friends in this environment. "When we attended our first dinner party, within minutes the hostess went to the kitchen and the other wives followed her, while the husbands settled into the living room. Ira and I froze, looking at each other. In the city, our straight friends hadn't separated out like this for the evening. Should we stay with the dudes, exert our masculinity, and blow off the mom we liked? Or does one of us go with the wives and accept the personal branding that comes with that? We did a quick rock paper scissors in the foyer. Ira went with the wives."

But ultimately, "being a parent defined me more than I ever imagined it would," he wrote, and he settled in nicely to his new suburban life.

Have you had a similar adjustment, from city life to the suburbs? Tell us about it at dads@gayswithkids.com for an upcoming piece!

Gay Dad Life

"Fridays with Fitz": A New Kid's Book Based Upon the Son of These Two Dads

Tracey Wimperly, author of the new children's book, said she hopes to give a more honest portrayal of the role grandparents play in the lives of children.

Guest post Tracey Wimperly

I've recently written a children's picture book (aimed at 2-4 year olds) called "Fridays with Fitz: Fitz Goes to the Pool." Every Friday - when his two dads go to work - Fitz and his grandparents (my husband, Steve and I) head off on an adventure. Through the eyes of a curious and energetic 3 year old, even ordinary adventures, like riding the bus or foraging for fungus in the forest can be fun and magical.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

One Single Gay Dad's Trailblazing Path to Parenthood Via Surrogacy

20 years ago, Gene became the first single gay man to work with Circle Surrogacy in order to become a dad — trailblazing a path for many others since.

This article is part of our family feature series with Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency that has been helping LGBTQ+ singles and couples realize their dream of parenthood for the past 20 years.

"I think I was pretty naïve, I guess," chuckled Gene, one of the first single gay dads to work with Circle Surrogacy over 19 years ago. "I just had made a decision and went out and did it, and wasn't really thinking about how difficult it might be or what other people thought, being first at doing something."

So how did Gene hear about surrogacy as an option for single gay men? Well, it began with Gene flipping through a bar magazine. He recalls seeing an ad about a woman providing a service to connect gay men with lesbians in platonic co-parenting relationships. While he started down that path, working with the founder, Jennifer, he remembers thinking, "What if I meet someone? What if I want to move? It would create all these complications."

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Change the World

"Dadvocates" Gather in D.C. to Demand Paid Family Leave for ALL Parents

"Dadvocate" and new gay dad Rudy Segovia joined others in D.C. recently to educate lawmakers on the need for paid family leave for ALL parents

On Tuesday October 22, Dove Men+Care and PL+US (Paid Leave for the United States) led the Dads' Day of Action on Capitol Hill. A group of over 40 dads and "dadvocates" from across the states lobbied key member of Congress on the issue of paid paternity leave for *ALL* dads. They shared stories of their struggles to take time off when welcoming new family members and the challenges dads face with no paid paternity leave.

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

Falling for Fall: 33 Photos of Gay Dads and Kids at the Pumpkin Patch

Oh my gourd, it's fall! To celebrate, we rounded up 33 pics (and whole lot of pun-kins) in our annual fall photo essay!

Don your checked shirt, grab them apples, and shine those smiles while perched on pumpkins — it's the annual fall family photo op! A trip to the pumpkin patch and / or apple orchard is a staple family fall outing, and we're here for it. 🎃🍎🍂👨👨👧👦

Thanks to these dads who shared their pics with us! Share your own to dads@gayswithkids.com and we'll add them to this post!

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Gay Dad Family Stories

David and Ben Met on the Dance Floor — and Are Now Grooving Their Way Through Fatherhood

David and Ben, who became fathers with the help of Northwest Surrogacy Center, live in Melbourne with their daughter, Maia.

In 2003, while both studying at Reading University in the UK, Ben Suter and David Cocks met after locking eyes on the dance floor and then being introduced by a mutual friend. Ben, a meteorologist and Operations Manager, and David, an Assistant Principal, have been together ever since. They moved to Australia together in 2010, seeking a different life, and an overall better work-life balance. The chose Cairns in Queensland as their new home, between the Great Barrier Reef and the tropical rainforest, "taking life a bit easier," said David. The couple were also married in June 2016, back home in England.

While David always wanted kids, Ben took a little convincing. So they started their parenting journey with a dog, Titan, who quickly became like their first born. From there, Ben came around rather quickly.

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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