Gay Dad Family Stories

These Aussie Dads Got Married With a Special Guest: Their Newborn Daughter

Aussie dads Cris and Damien were together only a year when they got engaged. They spent the next 9 years fighting for their right to get married.

Australians Cris and Damien had only been together a year before they got engaged. They then spent the next 9 years fighting for their right to get married. When Australia voted "Yes" for marriage equality last November, it meant that Cris and Damien could finally get legally married in their home country. They were thrilled! But what was even more exciting was their guest of honor: their brand new baby girl born via surrogacy on February 28, 2018.

Cris and Damien met on MySpace in 2008. Cris was 20 years old, living in a small town of only 1,179 people in rural Australia. "It wasn't easy to meet like-minded people," said Cris. "I happened to come across Damien's profile and then the rest, as they say, is history."

Cris (left) and Damien on their wedding day

Damien never had a strong desire to have children – he was happy either way - but after meeting Cris, and seeing the longing he had to be a dad, Damien began to want children as well. The two looked at adoption but at the time it wasn't possible for them (it has only recently become legal in Victoria, Australia, for gay couples to adopt) so they turned to surrogacy.

Damien and Cris looked internationally to fulfill their desire to become biological dads. At first, they encountered a number of roadblocks before setting their sights on Canada. The associated costs were a hurdle for the dads-to-be so they took out a loan that they dubbed their "baby loan." Their first surrogate didn't work out. Neither did the second one. But the dads were not perturbed. They made a video of themselves sharing their dream of becoming dads. Their third surrogate saw it and asked to be matched with them.

"We clicked straight away," said Cris.

Cris doing skin-to-skin with Fletcher, and Damien

There were a couple more hiccups along the way including traveling and the Zika virus, medication mix-ups, and having to let their Australian lawyer go towards the end, but on February 28, at 6:47am, Fletcher Jarvis Stevens-Todd was born.

Life for the new dads hasn't altered much. They've lucked out with a daughter who enjoys sleeping through loud noises, and being out and about with her two dads. Cris has taken a year off work to be home with Fletcher, and the dads still attend most events. However, Cris has noticed a huge priority change since becoming a dad: he now feels like an adult and a family man! "My twenties were about self discovery, but I turned 30 this year and it's now about us."

Cris and Damien with Fletcher

Cris and Damien have a message to other gay dads-to-be: "Never give up," said Cris. "Even though it can be a hard journey with many ups, downs, lefts and rights."

And so far, the dads have not been made to feel different as a two-dad family. "Everyone has been so supportive," said Damien, "our journey has been a very public one."

"There were a lot of people waiting for [our daughter's] birth," added Cris. "Because of the support and generosity of people, I've called her the "People's Baby."

Well, it's clear that this "People's Baby" is very loved, very wanted, and is the apple of her two daddies' eyes! Congratulations to Cris and Damien!

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Gay Dad Family Stories

These Adoptive Dads Gained an Extended Family Through Foster Care

Adoptive dads Edward and Andrew have maintained a close relationship with their twins' biological family.

Celebrating gay, bi and trans fatherhood is what we do on Gays With Kids. We rejoice in whatever paths our community took to become parents. But many of those journeys come with heartbreak, sometimes for the intended parents, and sometimes for the biological family from whom the adoption or foster placement occurs. With an open adoption, the adoptive and biological families come to an arrangement which best benefits the child, and that's when something truly beautiful can occur. This isn't always possible in every scenario, but when it does, we're exceedingly thankful. Can a child ever have too many family members loving them? Not likely. This was husbands of five years Edward and Andrew Senn's experience.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

'Fourth Time's a Charm' for This Foster Forever Family

It took four tries before Steven was united with his 'forever son' through foster care — and it was worth the wait.

On his path to becoming a dad, Steven Engle admits his biggest obstacle was himself at first. "In my mind, I had to be in a relationship or married to have a child," he said. Steven had wasted many years believing that simply as fact. "And yes, I realize how antiquated that is... I'm embarrassed to admit it." Then one day, he was out with a good friend who just said, "Why not do it on your own?" It was Steven's 'aha' moment. "Once I got past that, I was unstoppable."

Although Steven, who lives in Los Angeles, briefly considered adoption and surrogacy, he wanted to learn more about becoming a foster parent and adopting through the foster care system. Steven called up an old friend who had become a dad through a similar path to ask for advice and share his experience. His friend did so willingly and was happy to talk about adoption.

From there, Steven decided to attend an orientation at Extraordinary Families in Los Angeles. "I went in with a very open mind. I was very nervous and told myself that if something comes up and I realize it isn't a good fit, I would move on to another option, whatever that may be." After the orientation, Steven said that it felt so right that he started his training shortly thereafter. "I wanted to be certified ASAP. I knew that this was the road I was meant to be on."

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Gay Dad Family Stories

How Parenting Boys Helped This Gay Couple Discover New Strengths

Billy always imagined himself raising daughters — instead he's raising two sons.

Eight years ago, Billy and Joseph Saponaro, 31 and 33 years old respectively, met on a dating app. They both knew they wanted something meaningful, so they decided to go on a date. On July 9 this year, they celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary.

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Surrogacy for Gay Men

A Dream Becomes Reality, After a Men Having Babies Conference

New Yorkers David and Brian said their dreams of fatherhood crystalized only after receiving a "ton of information" at a Men Having Babies conference.

New Yorkers David F.M. Vaughn 39, and Brian Becker, 37, are new dads. Over the past three months, the two most important things they've learned as fathers is "patience, and how to swaddle LIKE A CHAMP!" David and Brian chose surrogacy as their path to fatherhood, but making that decision was one of the more difficult parts of their journey. Brian's siblings are adopted, and while they still want to make adoption part of their family journey, certain opportunities arose that made their surrogacy decision easier. Brian's sister enthusiastically offered to be their gestational surrogate, and they discovered more about the process with the help of Men Having Babies (MHB).

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Your Foster Adopt Questions Answered by a Foster Adopt Dad

We asked our Instagram community to send us their questions about being a foster dad — and an experienced foster dad responded.

Dad Joseph Bostick (read his story here) recently shared his experience as a foster and adoptive dad with our Instagram community via a question and answer session - did you feel nervous at the beginning? How did you start the process? Did you always know that you wanted to foster older kids?

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Gay Surrogacy in the U.S. for International Dads

Kristin Marsoli of Circle Surrogacy breaks down the process of surrogacy for gay men outside of the United States

Written by Circle Surrogacy & Egg Donation, who has been helping international gay men become dads for over two decades.

Becoming a gay dad through a surrogacy agency in the U.S. – when you live outside of the United States – can feel overwhelming. You may have questions such as: Why should I come all the way to the US for surrogacy? What do I need to know as an international intended parent? How do I get my baby home?

We spoke with Circle Surrogacy & Egg Donation who has been working with international gay parents for over two decades. Circle Surrogacy was founded by a gay dad and lawyer, and is the most successful surrogacy agency with a full legal team on staff who are experts working with international parents.

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My Gay Shame Is Officially Cancelled

After years of feeling ashamed of being gay, David Blacker has finally overcome it. And his son had a lot to do with it.

Scrolling through my social media feeds, reading all the posts about National Coming Out Day reminds me just how valuable it is for us to share our stories and be as open, vulnerable and authentic as possible. Warning: this article is about to get real AF, so now might be a good time to switch back to the Face-Aging app that gives Russia all your personal data.

Oh good, you stayed. Don't say I didn't warn you.

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