Gay Dad Life

"Overwhelmed With Joy": Congrats to Gay Dads Whose Families Grew Last Month!

Help us congratulate gay dads whose families expanded via new births and adoptions last month!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in the last month or so a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!


Congratulations to dads Curtis and David on the birth of their daughter Quinn!

From very early on in their relationship - as in, on their first date - the topic of kids was discussed. Now that's it's finally happened, the new dads are beyond excited.

"We were both so overwhelmed with joy," said Curtis. "We have both wanted children for so long."

The husbands became dads through open adoption and live in Champaign, Illinois.

"Our hearts couldn't be more filled," added David.

Congratulations to dads Robert and Matt on finalizing the adoption of their daughter, Claire!

On April 9th, 2018, 1-day-old Claire was placed with her two dads, Robert and Matt, and their lives were changed forever! 7 months later, her adoption was finalized and the dads are over the moon!

"We waited so long for her to come into our lives," said Robert. "Once we had her, we knew we were meant to be her parents. When the judge made the final decree, it seemed like all the pieces fell into place for our family."

We're so happy for this Colorado forever family of three!

Congrats to dads Rubén and Borja on the birth of their son Gorka!

After 13 years together, Rubén and Borja decided to take the next steps and become dads via surrogacy in Canada! They chose Canada as it allowed them to both be listed as the legal parents on the birth certificate from the beginning, rather than the non-biological parent to have to apply to adopt their son.

On October 23, 2018, they welcomed their son Gorka in Winnipeg.

"We are really happy with our little one," shared Rubén. "It is definitely the best experience ever and the best thing that has ever happened to us during our 13 years of relationship."

"There's no words to describe how thankful we are with our surrogate, Haley," added Borja. "We believe she's an angel that gave us the greatest gift ever."

Gorka is a little international baby since he was born in Canada, and also has Mexican and Spanish passports thanks to this daddies - Rubén is Mexican, and Borja is from Spain. The family of three are also living in Amsterdam so he'll learn to speak Dutch, Spanish and English.

Congratulations to dads Graham and Andy on the birth of their son Harrison!

New dads Graham and Andy are thrilled to introduce to the world their son Harrison. Born a few days early and with the amazing strength of their surrogate, Graham's sister. "She and her family are amazing!" shared proud brother Graham.

"We both got to be in the operating room for her c-section," shared Andy, "and hearing his cry as he came into the world... my heart melts."

Congratulations to this new family of three!

Congrats to new dads Emanuel and Martin on the birth of their daughter, Michelle!

IG: @e.dalinvolsing

Swedish husbands Emanuel and Martin are thrilled to welcome their first child, Michelle, via surrogacy. She was born November 29, 2018.

"Time stopped!" shared Emanuel. "I knew then and there that this is what life is all about; you are the impossible dream that came true. I feel blessed and honored to be your father."

We're so happy for this new family of three!

Bryce and Jeffrey recently welcomed their twins! Congrats dads!

On November 27, 2018, Bryce and Jeffrey's lives were changed forever. That was the day they welcomed their twins, at 34 weeks gestation, into the world.

"The first time we held our twins, we were overcome with a sense of love that we never knew we could feel," shared Bryce. "Our hearts grew three sizes in an instant and was filled with immense love for our two babies."

"It was a culmination of years of hard work and sacrifice in order to create our family - and it made all the hard times worth it," added Jeffrey.

These new dads from Salt Lake City, Utah, hope to inspire other LGBT individuals, especially the youth that are struggling with self acceptance, that they, too, can have a family. We wish this new family of four all the very best!

Congratulations to Fernando on the birth of his daughter, Lola!

Fernando had always wanted to be a dad. "I never really listened to those warning me about how crazy or brave I was wanting to do this journey on my own and becoming a single dad," Fernando said. After living and working in LA for many years, Fernando returned to Spain, his home country, and began the surrogacy process. 11 months later, Lola was born.

"Everyone I've met during this journey has been incredibly supportive and nice; my amazing surrogate, the embryologist, the agency owner, the Airbnb hosts in the apartment I rented for a month in Portland..."

Although he's not getting much sleep these days, this has been the best decision Fernando has ever made, and 2018 the best year of his life. "Nothing will ever be comparable to the feeling of holding her for the first time and seeing the joy of my family at the hospital when they first saw her."

Charles and Thomas finalized the adoption of their daughter, Bella!

For Charles and Thomas, Christmas came a little earlier as they finalized the adoption of their daughter Bella on December 21, 2018.

"Bella's adoption was finalized today. We are now officially official. We couldn't be happier!" said Charles on Instagram.

Congratulations to this Boston forever family of three!

Congratulations to dads Jacky and Seth on welcoming daughter Amber to their family!

Jacky and Seth became dads for the second time on October 2018 when they welcomed their baby daughter Amber via surrogacy.

"We couldn't believe how beautiful she was the first time we held her in our arms. It was love at first sight!" shared Jacky.

At first, older brother Jasper was a wee bit jealous of his new sister, but now the dads say he is a loving big brother. Loads of hugs and kisses, and even helping out his dads with taking care of her!

"To be honest, we were a little worried that Jasper would feel that he was getting less attention with the arrival of our baby girl," said Jacky, "but what we've learned is that love doesn't divide, it multiples!"

"We feel as though our bond with Jasper is even stronger than ever, and Jasper is learning to love and care for his sibling is just the most endearing thing to witness," added Seth.

This family of four live in Indonesia.

Congratulations to dads Stephen and Frank on growing their family!

Frank and Stephen's family grew by one on December 17, 2018, when their son Charles ("Charlie") joined their family through adoption.

"Charlie is our second child and when we held him the first time we learned it wasn't about dividing our love between two kids," shared Stephen. "In an instant, we learned we could double the amount of love we had to give."

Charlie joins big brother Joe who is 21 months who was also adopted. This forever family of four lives outside of Boston, Massachusetts.

Dads James and Casey welcome their first daughter, Arden Rose!

In October last year, the Texan dads welcomed Arden Rose via surrogacy! Arden is the younger sister to their eldest child, 2-year-old Asher.

"We worked with an agency to find the perfect surrogates for us on both journeys," said Daddy Casey. "Our first pregnancy we transferred two embryos and both took. We were pregnant with boy and girl twins and had an uneventful pregnancy up until 23 weeks and 3 days. Our surrogate went into preterm labor and they were unable to stop the delivery of our twins."

Their twins, Avery and Asher were born at just 23 weeks. "Our tiny daughter Avery lived for two days and we spent 119 days in NICU with our amazing son Asher."

When the dads came home from the hospital with Asher in April 2017, they knew they wanted another child so they reached out to their agency almost immediately to be matched again.

"We were matched in June 2017 and transferred February 2018 and delivered our precious Arden Rose full term with no complications in October 2018. Both of our surrogates were amazing, we connected and continue to stay in touch," said James.

"Holding your newborn is always very emotional, but holding Arden Rose the first time was truly a moment of emotional relief, she was here and she was a very healthy, perfect baby girl and I could finally relax and take in the perfect moment of her skin next to mine with our hearts beating together," said Casey.

This awesome family live in New Summerfield, Texas.

Fabian and Anthony are new dads to daughter, Frankie, born via surrogacy!

Together 15 years, married for 3, Fabian and Anthony began their road to fatherhood almost 4 years ago.

"We endured lost embryos, issues with our agency - we ended up going independent - but we have the most special relationship with our surrogate and her family," shared Anthony.

On December 22, little Frankie Willow was born in Spotsylvania, Virginia.

"Holding Frankie for the first time felt like time stopped and the whole world and our difficult journey melted away," said Fabian. "The room was filled with joy and tears, it was like the biggest crescendo in the biggest ballad you've ever heard!"

Congratulations to this new family of three who live in Melbourne, Australia.

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Surrogacy for Gay Men

Learn How These Dads Used Social Media to Find Their Surrogate

In the latest "Broadway Husbands" vlog, Bret and Stephen discuss the rather unconventional way in which they found their surrogate: through a Facebook group.

In this, the Broadway Husbands' sixth video, Bret Shuford and Stephen Hanna discuss the rather unprecedented process they went through to find their surrogate. The lucky couple also chat about winning an "Intended Parents" competition, which granted them the free services of a surrogacy agency who is now helping guide them (and their new surrogate!) on their journey.

In the first video below, get caught up to speed with the dads-to-be. Plus: there's bonus footage! Ever wondered about the financial side of their journey? In the second video, Bret and Stephen talk candidly about how they're managing to afford their dream of fatherhood.

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Change the World

Meet the Gay Dad Running For Common Council in South Bend, Indiana

Move over Mayor Pete Buttigieg! South Bend, Indiana may soon have another gay politico in the form of Alex Giorgio-Rubin, a dad of a 12-year-old adopted son.

You've probably heard of Pete Buttigieg, the young gay mayor running to be the Democratic nominee to challenge President Trump in 2020. But the town of South Bend, Indiana, may soon have another gay politico rising star in the form of Alex Giorgio-Rubin, a dad to a 12-year-old son.

Alex is running for a seat on South Bend's Common Council, in part, he says, to help make all families – including ones like his own – feel welcome.

As an out, married, gay dad, living in a Jewish household, raising a son who is on the Autism spectrum, Alex feels he can offer a unique perspective. "We come from the state that produced Mike Pence," said Alex. "We come from the state that made national headlines because of a bill that would allow businesses to discriminate based on sexual orientation; it's fair to say that the cards are stacked against my family, and many, many other families like mine."

Alex, who is currently a stay-at-home dad raising his adopted son, 12-year-old Joseph, is married to Joshua Giorgio-Rubin, a Senior English Lecturer at the Indiana University of South Bend. The two have been together for six years.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

This Guy's "Annoying Phase" Is All Of Us the Day We Become Dads

With little to do but wait once their surrogate's water broke, Grant entered what his husband lovingly refers to as his "annoying phase."

It was 3:09am on February 7th when my phone rang. This, in and of itself, was strange as my phone is always on silent. But, for some reason, earlier that night I decided that I needed to change my phone settings to make sure the phone rang just in case our surrogate called. It was a week before our scheduled C-section and our doctor gave us no reason to think we would be welcoming our baby any earlier than the previously scheduled date.

"I think my water broke. No wait, it definitely broke," our surrogate tells me.

"Your water broke?" I replied helpfully. "Should we head to the hospital?"

"Um, yeah. Get in the car and drive. I'll meet you at the hospital."

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Foster/Foster-Adopt

This Gay Couple Was Inspired to Become Foster Dads Thanks to the Show "The Fosters"

Matthew and Brian say they used to feel like "unicorns" as gay foster dads. They're happy to see more LGBTQ couples take the plunge into the foster system.

Matthew Hamparian and his husband Brian Lawrence have been together for over 18 years and live in Columbus, Ohio. "We had talked about children for a long time," shared Matthew. They were inspired by the show "The Fosters," and watched it regularly as one of the staffers of the show was a friend of Brian's. In one of the episodes, Matthew remembers a conversation between a foster child and the biological child of his foster parents. The foster child asks if he was okay with the fact that he had to share his home with foster siblings. He responds that he is okay with it, because he and his family have enough of everything.

"It was very meaningful to us as we were both raised that when you got up the ladder, you threw the ladder back," explained Matthew.

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Terrell and Jarius need your help. Earlier this week they were made aware of an act of discrimination against a male transgender student at Johnson High School in Gainesville, Georgia

"Dex Frier was elected by the student body to run for prom king but is now facing backlash from the school's administration," shared the dads via their Instagram. "The school's Superintendent is forcing Dex to either run as prom queen or not run at all. This is very unjust and does NOT reflect the opinion of the parents nor the students."

Watch their video below:

Dex, 17, who came out identifying as male in his sophomore year, spoke with Gainsville Times about being nominated by the student body. "Frier said he kept his emotions in check while at school, but 'the moment I got home, I immediately started crying. I've never been shown so much support before,' Frier added."

He was later informed by school officials that his name had been withdrawn and he could only run in the prom queen ballot.

Sadly, there have been rival petitions started in support of Dex's nomination being withdrawn, and he's received backlash from those who believe he shouldn't be able to run.

Although Terrell and Jarius do not know Dex personally, they were made aware of what was happening through Jarius co-worker who is a parent at the school. "He's such a brave kid and is standing firm in his beliefs, and we should support him," said Jarius.

These dads are asking all of us to take a minute and sign this petition and share with friends and family, or anyone you think could help.

Gay Dad Life

Gay Single Dads Defend Andy Cohen's Right to Be on Grindr

After the Internet rushed to judge Andy Cohen for signing onto Grindr a couple of weeks after welcoming his newborn son home, fellow single gay dads rushed to his defense.

Last week, we wrote a post about reports that "What What Happens Live" host Andy Cohen had been "spotted" on gay dating app Grindr several weeks after welcoming a newborn into his home. This has some of his followers on social media all worked up"

"Get off Grindr and start being a dad," said one follower who appeared to think single parents must take a vow of celibacy the minute they start changing diapers. "You're sad, that kid has no chance," said another.

Well, suffice it to say that this judgment from people who are presumably not single gay dads of Andy Cohen certainly struck a nerve with our gay dad audience! We received well over 100 comments on this post on Facebook, the vast majority of them coming to Cohen's defense. We caught up with two fellow single gay dads to find out why the story struck a nerve.

"We don't have to live like monks!"

One of the most liked comments on our piece came from Owen Lonzar, who wrote the following:

"I have always been a good single father to my biological son who came to live with me when he was 7 years old. He is now 25 years old and we are very close. I used Grindr and dated while he lived with me. I never had anyone sleep over and he certainly never saw some man he didn't know hanging around my home. Single parents have to date responsibly and with sensitivity to their child but that doesn't mean they have to live like monks!"

We asked Cohen to elaborate a bit more on why the backlash against Cohen bothered him. He had the sense, he said, that much of the criticism against LGBTQ parents comes from gay men without children. "Gay men without kids have a lot to say," he said. "And all of it is ignorant, because they have no idea what it means to actually be a father." He said he was particularly disappointed in gay critics, given our shared history of discrimination. "You would think with all the prejudice we have faced that gay men would be less judgmental themselves," he said.

"Are we supposed to be celibate?"

Another commenter, Josue Sebastian Dones-Figueroa, who is a divorced father of five, questioned what Cohen's critics would prefer him do. "So what, parents are supposed to become celibate because they have kids?" he asked.

We followed up with Josue to ask him to elaborate a bit more: "The idea that just because he is a dad that he would need to stop being a man," he said, questioning why Cohen should have to put his life hold and stop dating, or having sex, just because he's now a father. "If the child is cared for loved and not neglected what is the problem? Life goes on right?"


Gay Dad Life

Internet Conflicted About Advice Given to Closeted Gay Dad in the Guardian

Ok fellow gay dads: if you were the advice columnist at the Guardian, what would you have said?

Recently, in a post titled "I met my girlfriend's parents – and realized I once slept with her father," a man wrote into the advice column at the Guardian with the following predicament:

"Five years ago, I went through a bi phase and used to sleep around with pretty much everyone that came along, including other men. This changed when I fell in love with my new partner, who is everything to me. I recently met her parents and halfway through lunch realised that I had slept with her father. I was going to propose, but when my partner and her mother were away, he told me to end it with his daughter. I'm obviously in love – shall I just ignore him, or tell my partner?"

Pamela Stephenson, the Guardian's columnist, responded as follows:

"I am not sure you could ever have a comfortable future with your new partner. To tell the truth would be to court disaster: a probable break-up, plus the risk of a permanent rift between father and daughter and father and wife. Hiding the truth would lead to toxic secret-keeping that could be equally destructive in the long run. If this whole family was as open-minded and sexually open as you, it might be possible for you to become part of it. However, the father – your former lover – has made it clear that you will not be welcome. Walk away now, and avoid the massive pain that would otherwise be inflicted on your partner, her family and yourself."

Not all commenters agreed with Stephenson's advice.

"Assuming your girlfriend knows that you were bi until falling in love with her and that you slept with everybody in your path [which she deserved to know up front anyway] then you can give HER the option what to do with this bond, rather than leaving the choice to her dad," said one commenter.

Another said, "Walking away without explaining why would be callous and also allow the father to escape the possible consequences of his actions."

It's worth noting that none of these commenters, nor the columnist, are or will ever be gay dads, whose perspective on this bizarre situation may be uniquely valuable. Many gay dads have become fathers while still in the closet. And even those who became dads after coming out can still sympathize with the detrimental impacts of the closet on our lives and those of our families.

So what say you, gay dads, about this man's predicament?

Fatherhood, the gay way

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