Gay Dad Life

"A Perfect Moment": Congrats to Gay Men Whose Families Grew This Month!

Congrats to all the gay dads and dads-to-be whose families grew this month from adoptions and births, or have recently announced pregnancies!

Wishing these growing families a lifetime of happiness! Congratulations to these gay men on their recent and expectant births, adoption finalizations and foster-adopt journeys, from all of us here at Gays With Kids!

"Truly a perfect moment," says Doug and Brent on the birth of their youngest son, Shepherd

Congratulations to dads Doug and Brent on the birth of their youngest son, Shepherd!

On June 28, Doug and Brent became dads for the second time through adoption when their son Shepherd was born. Their eldest son Sawyer is so excited to be a big brother and the dads are loving being a family of four.

"We finally felt our family was complete when we met him," shared Doug. "Truly a perfect moment."

We're thrilled for this Atlanta family!

With fatherhood around the corner, there is there is "an infinite amount to look forward to," says Richard.

Congratulations to dads-to-be Steve and Richard on their exciting news!

Steve and Richard are thrilled to announce that they are officially dads-to-be! Their little one, via private adoption, is expected in December 2018.

"Fatherhood has always been a dream for the both of us," shared Steve. "We're most looking forward to 'moments' with our baby. From brand new experiences... the first smile, the first laugh, seeing a flower for the first time, trying foods from other countries to ultimately showing them how to first and foremost offer love and kindness to others, above all else."

"While there is a infinite amount to look forward to," added Richard, "we so excited to wake up each and every day and everything new that comes along with it."

The family of three-to-be live in Urbandale, Iowa.

"There wasn't a dry eye in the courtroom," Joshua says, following the adoption of his daughter, Aria

Congratulations to dads Bryan and Joshua on finalizing the adoption of their daughter, Aria!

Floridian dads Bryan and Joshua are thrilled to have finalized the adoption of the gorgeous daughter, born in February earlier this year.

"After starting this journey one year ago and sitting in that courtroom with our 6-month-old, it really hit us," explained Bryan. "We were holding it strong together until we were answering questions from the attorney to the judge. At that moment, my husband Joshua started crying which made me cry."

"At that point," continued Joshua, "it really hit us how far we've come and there wasn't a dry eye in the courtroom. We couldn't be more proud to be her dads."

Congrats to Sean and Spencer, who recently became dads to twins, via surrogacy!

Congratulations to Sean and Spencer on recently welcoming their twins, Rowan and Clyde, via surrogacy!

Spencer and Sean began planning their surrogacy journey before they were married in September 2016. And on May 26 this year their dream was realized: the husbands became dads when their twins Rowan and Clyde were born.

The new dads are completely smitten and in complete agreement of their favorite thing so far as fathers: Watching their twins discover and experience the world around them for the first time every day.

This family of four live in Maplewood, New Jersey.

"September cannot come soon enough!" say dads-to-be Benjamin and Christopher

Congratulations to dads-to-be Benjamin and Christopher!

Benjamin and Christopher are excited to share the news: a little bean will soon be joining their family to make them dads!

"We are most looking forward to bonding with our little bean; to see him grow and experience the amazing wonders of the world with our friends and family will be priceless," shared Christopher.

"To be able to travel with him on our excursions around this big crazy globe is something we've always talked about and looked forward to," added Benjamin, "September cannot come soon enough!"

We'e excited to follow the journey of this Pennsylvanian family.

"I was surprised by the impact those pen strokes would have," said AJ, after the finalization of his son's adoption

Jeff and AJ are beyond excited to finalize the adoption of son, Hayden!

New Yorkers AJ and Jeff became dads to son Hayden the day he was born, March 21, 2018. Hayden joined his dads via adoption, and on August 1st, it was finalized. They are now a forever family of three. AJ shared with us how the day impacted him.

"I thought the finalization would just be another happy part of Hayden's adoption journey we could tell him about and celebrate through the years. After all he became our son the moment we matched so a signing of papers wasn't going to change that in my eyes. But I was surprised by my naivety the impact those pen strokes would have. It was a moment of pure joy and happiness that will probably forever bring tears of happiness to my eyes when I think about that day."

The thing these dads-to-be are most excited about? "Double the dad jokes!"

Congratulations to dads-to-be Ryan and Steven on the pregnancy news!

Ryan and Steven live in Madison, Wisconsin, and in six months or so, they're going to be dads! What are the dads-to-be most looking forward to?

"Building a bond with our child in the same way we both have with our own parents," shared Ryan. "Watching them grow and experience the world, all while getting to see it through their eyes. Plus, double the dad jokes!"

Although the past 16 months have been an emotional rollercoaster, Ryan and Steven are beyond excited for their new adventure.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

This European Couple Became Dads Through a U.K.-Based Surrogacy Program

Janno, from Estonia, and Matthias, from Belgium, were accepted into the "Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy" Program.

Janno Talu, an accountant, and Matthias Nijs, an art gallery director, were born in different parts of Europe. Janno, 39, is from Estonia, and Matthias, 28, is from Belgium. Their paths crossed when the two moved to London, each from their different corners of the European Union.

Janno relocated to London earlier than Matthias, when he was 24, and his main reason for the move was his sexuality. "Although Estonia is considered one of the more progressive countries in Eastern Europe, when it comes to gay rights, it is still decades behind Western society in terms of tolerance," said Janno. "And things are not moving in the right direction." In 2016, same-sex civil union became legal, but the junior party in the current coalition government is seeking to repeal the same-sex partnership bill. "In addition," Janno continued, "they wish to include the definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman in the country's constitution. Even today, there are people in Estonia who liken homosexuality to pedophilia, which is why I decided to start a new life in the UK, where I could finally be myself."

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

A Gay Dad Asks: Is Destroying an Embryo Similar to Abortion?

It's a question many LGBTQ parents using advanced fertility treatments will need to face — what to do with "left over" embryos.

Let me start off by saying that I have always been pro choice and support all laws that allow people to have full reproductive rights including safe and legal abortions. This is a complicated subject and not one that I ever thought I would really have to deal with on a personal level, especially being a gay man.

I remember a very heated discussion on abortion in my biology class back in university. I was young, idealistic and had very strong convictions about abortion. I was debating with a female classmate who was pro life. She felt there was no reason for an abortion ever, not even if raped by your own parent or sibling. I could not really understand her position, then or now. Don't get me wrong, I still don't agree with her, but now that I'm older and wiser, and also a parent, I have come to respect and accept opinions other than mine.

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

"Our Family Is Complete": Gay Men Celebrate Recent Adoptions and Births!

Join us in congratulating all of the men in our community whose families recently grew!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in November and December a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

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News

Indiana Court Says Couples Using Sperm Donors​ Can Both Be Listed on Birth Certificate — But Ruling Excludes Male Couples

The 7th US Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favor of the plaintiffs in the case, a major victory for LGBTQ parents — but the Attorney General may appeal to the Supreme Court.

On Friday, a US Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a ruling from a lower court that said that both parents in a same-sex relationship are entitled to be listed on the birth certificate — previously, the state of Indiana had required the non-biological parent within a same-sex relationship using assisted reproductive technologies to adopt their child after the birth in order to get her or his name listed on the birth certificate, a lengthy and expensive process not required of straight couples in the same situation.

It's a double standard LGBTQ parents have long been subjected to in many states across the country. So this represent a major win. As reported by CNN, this ruling "takes a lot of weight off" the shoulders of LGBTQ parents, said Karen Celestino-Horseman, a lawyer representing one of the couples in the case. "They've been living as families and wondering if this was going to tear them apart."

The 7th US Circuit Court of Appeals deliberated the case, according to CNN, for more than two and a half years, which is one of the longest in the court's history.

However, because all the plaintiffs in the case involved female same-sex couples using sperm donors, the ruling left open the similar question of parenting rights with respect to male couples. Indiana's Attorney General, moreover, may also appeal the case to the Supreme Court.

We'll be following the case closely and be sure to keep you up to date. For more on this recent decision, read CNN's article here.

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

As a Gay Dad, What's the Impact of Letting My Son Perform Drag?

Michael Duncan was excited when his 10-year-old son asked if he could perform in drag for charity — but he also felt fear and anxiety.

As LGBT parents, we have all lived through some sort of trauma in our lives. For many it is the rejection of our family, being bullied, or abuse. We learn to be vigilant of our surroundings and often are very cautious of who we trust. As adults, we start to become watchful of how much we share and we look for "red flags" around every corner.

So, what effect does this have on our children? Does it unintentionally cause us to be more jaded with our interactions involving others? For some the answer may be a resounding "no." But as we look deeper into the situation, we often find that through survival our interactions with others have changed and we may not even realize exactly how much we are projecting on those around us.

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Diary of a Newly Out Gay Dad

A Gay Chiropractor Explains Why He Came Out to His Patients

After Cameron Call, a chiropractor, came out to his family this past year, he knew he had one more step to take — he had to come out to his patients

Fear is an interesting thing. It motivates when it shouldn't, shows at inconvenient times, and is the author of stories that do nothing but hold us back. I would argue though, too, that fear has some good qualities. I believe it helps us to feel. And I think it can be a great teacher as we learn to recognize and face it.

For years fear prevented me from embracing my truth and accepting a large part of who I am. I know I am not alone in that regard. But for so long my fear convinced me that I was. Fear is what kept me from ever telling my parents or anyone growing up that I am gay. Fear mingled with strong religious teachings, embraced at a young age, which led me to believe that I could cure myself of my attractions to the same gender. And fear is a part of what kept me in my marriage to a woman for over ten years.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

A Gay Dad Gains Clarity After a Health Scare

A recent health scare helped give Erik Alexander clarity.

Sometimes fear can cripple the mind and hinder ones judgement. Having children of my own, I have come to grips with accepting the things I cannot change and learned to take action when there is no other choice. When it comes to my own personal health, the future and well being of my family gives me all the clarity I need to make the right decision about any kind of health scare.

This episode is dedicated to all the parents out there that are going through or have gone through similar situations.

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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