Gay Dad Life

"This Is Home": Congrats to Gay Men Celebrating Births and Adoptions in April!

Help us congratulate all of the gay, bi and trans men who are celebrating births and adoption in the month of April!

Every month we feel honored to be able to share the awesome news of our families celebrating incredible milestones, such as adoption finalizations and welcoming their newest members. Congratulations to all these beautiful families featured this month!

Circle Surrogacy is the proud sponsor of April's Congrats post. They were founded in 1995 on the belief that everyone should have the opportunity to be a parent. "For over 20 years we've helped LGBTQ+ couples and singles around the world fulfill their dreams of parenthood. We've helped bring more than 1,900 babies into this world... and counting!"


Congratulations to new dads Brian and Scott on the birth of their son Silas!

Husbands Scott and Brian welcomed their first son via surrogacy on March 17, 2019 at 5:35am.

"Witnessing the miracle of birth, with the people that have been on this journey with us was truly emotional and moving," recalled Brian. "Whenever we are asked about our first moments meeting our son we always explain it was the true meaning of love at first sight. In a relationship, you meet someone, you're physically attracted to them, enjoy the same things, laugh together, and ultimately fall in love."

"Even with small hiccups from time to time," added Scott, "the experienced coordinators and advisors have always guided us from Circle and our Fertility Clinic. We have had such a remarkable experience and grateful to hold our little boy Silas James."

We're thrilled for this new family of three, and excited to follow their fatherhood journey.

Congratulations to dads Bobby and Christopher on finalizing the adoption of their son Johan!

This Californian family of three became a forever family of three on March 22, 2019.

"Our adoption journey took about two years to complete - the original agency we signed with filed for bankruptcy, we eventually got an adoption attorney to help us out," said Bobby. "We were there for the birth of our son, Johan, in Washington state. Ten months later, we are in front of a judge to finalize our adoption and couldn't be happier!"

Congrats to this family of three!

Congratulations to dads Terrance and Chase on finalizing the adoption of their son Nylen!

Terrance and Chase began their foster journey in November 2016. They began attending Impact classes with their local state's Department of Family and Children Services. Once all was approved and home study complete, they became foster parents to two great kids along the way.

"Fostering is not for the faint of heart as we became so attached to both kids," shared Chase. "The daily grind of homework, bed-time and helping them see how much of a blessing they are to the world, is an all-in project."

The dads home became empty in March 2018 so they traveled to South Africa, and donated their time, clothes, books and toys to children and families in need. In the summer of 2018, they opened their homes again and were matched with Nylen.

"Nylen, like other children in the DFCS system, has had a troubled past due to things out of his control," said Chase. "All he needed was a true support system, love and consistency."

After attending many court dates and meetings at school to ensure their son received support and teaching to meet his needs, they began starting to see a young man flourish. "Nylen is officially student of the month (April 2019), sportsman of the week in basketball and for the first time he made honor roll! Nylen's birth mother made a tough but loving decision in that for him to thrive he was best with us. As of March 11, 2019, Nylen is home for good and not just as our adopted son but as the missing link."

Congratulations to dads Carter and Remco for welcoming their twins, Cooper and Lily!

"We are very much in love."

On March 18, their second daughter, Lily came into the world, and a minute later her brother Cooper joined her. The twins were born via surrogate in Thailand.

"Holding the twins for the first time was a moment of pure happiness," shared Carter. "Feeling great responsibility to raise these children to be kind and successful in their life. Bring it on. We can do this. We want a big family and we have three kids and a dog now. What's next? Time will tell. Till then we'll enjoy every moment with the twins and their two year old big sister (who is doing great, couldn't make us more proud)."

Lily and Cooper join big sister Ella who was adopted by the dads two years prior.

Congratulations to dads Jon and Chris on welcoming daughter Ariana!

Jon and Chris became dads to baby Ariana via surrogacy. (Here they are at her adoption court hearing 3 weeks after her birth.) They began their surrogacy process in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but recently moved to Key West, Florida right after she was born.

"We had an amazing carrier that may do a sibling project for us here shortly and carry for us again," said Jon. "We chose to not know who's DNA Ariana is and will have the fertility clinic select an embryo from the other one of us for our next one."

"The day she was born, the first emotion was just uninhibited caring and love for her," said Chris. "It's like you live your life learning to guard yourself, ask questions, scope out the situation, learn someone before loving them...but with your own daughter, the moment you see her there are no questions or learning—it's instant and it's overwhelming. She's amazing."

Congratulations to dads Ben and Ryan on welcoming son Morrissey!

Ben and Ryan, an Australian couple, became first-time dads to little Morrissey on March 8, 2019, when he was born via surrogate in Minnesota.

"Our journey lasted 3 years, all worth it," shared Ryan. "When we held our son for the first time, all of our struggles disappeared. The love we have for him is a different love. We feel complete now, as a family."

Congrats to this new family of three!

Congratulations to dads Ben and Andy on welcoming twins Kit and Wren!

On April 2, 2019, Ben and Andy became dads to twin daughters, Kit and Wren, via their amazing surrogate Amber!

"While not simple, our surrogacy journey was pretty smooth," shared Ben. "From our very first inquiry visit to our doctor to the day the girls arrived, it all took less than 18 months and we only had one failed attempt

"We know we have been very lucky and do not take that for granted," added Andy. "We've been fortunate enough to have support of friends, our church, and families throughout the journey, and we've had a very thoughtful and selfless gestational carrier. Ironically, the day the girls were born, the entire hospital was full and the birthing unit was maxed out. We had to make an impromptu room in the hospital's nursery with all the other new born babies coming and going throughout the days for their checkups. Even though we hit this minimal snag, Ben's words summed up the moment perfectly as we did skin to skin for the first time with our daughters. He looked over at me and simply said 'I wish this moment right now could be our jobs for the rest of our lives.'"

Congratulations to dads Eryc and Jeremy for finalizing their kids' adoptions! 

@instantdads

Eryc works at a group home where he met his beautiful kids-to-be! "We built a connection that coincided with them being up for adoption," he explained. "We began the process and made it happen! Longest 9 months of our lives."

Eryc and his husband Jeremy adopted four of the siblings, Kamaria, Keir, Jerrick and Keila, and their close friend adopted the two youngest siblings so they could all stay together. On March 8, 2019, they celebrated being a beautiful blended family!

"Adoption day was magical," said Jeremy. "Full of tears of joy and just a mystical moment of happiness. There is no turning back and we are so appreciative to extend our family with these beautiful souls!"

Congrats to this Fort Lauderdale family!

Congratulations to dads Chris and Kyle on welcoming twins Kavan and Willow! 

Chris and Kyle talked about having kids on their very first date so they knew it was always going to be in the cards for them. The day after they got married two years ago, they attended the Family Expo at The LGBT Center in New York where they learned about all the potential ways to become parents.

"We decided surrogacy would be the right path for us - we signed with an agency (Growing Generations) three months later and we were on our way," said Chris. "Our surrogacy journey went fairly to plan fortunately with only one or two minor bumps. We had an incredibly strong and caring woman as our surrogate and we could not have picked a better person to help us build our family."

On March 29, their twins were born.

"To say there was a lot of emotion when we held our twins for the first time would be an understatement, there was every emotion!" said Kyle. "There was a mix of excitement, relief that they were strong and healthy, fear of accidentally breaking them, and an incredible sense of love and admiration. It was hard to believe that the time had actually arrived when we were holding our children but it was a moment that we were, and still are, extremely grateful to be able to have. It'll be something that we'll never forget!"

Congrats to this Los Angeles based family!

Congratulations to dads Tomas and Daniel on finalizing the adoption of their kids! 

Tomas and Daniel always wanted a large family. "We started our journey to fatherhood eight years ago, fostering to adopt siblings Kevin and Alexis. After about a year of fostering we adopted them."

Two years later they returned to their foster agency for a second round and were placed with and eventually adopted siblings Nikko and Jonathan.

Last year they decided to return again, and adopted two siblings on April 23, 2019.

"It has had its trials and lots of testing of relationships but we have persevered keeping a happy family," shared Tomas. "On the day we finalized our kids adoption, we were thrilled. Part was the relief that there were no appeals, part that we will have no more multi county and multi agency social worker visits to schedule, no more paperwork, and the biggest most important part was that the kids know this is their forever home. This is home."

Congrats to this Californian forever family!

Circle was founded in 1995 on the belief that everyone should have the opportunity to be a parent. To this day, that belief is at the core of everything we do. For over 20 years we've helped straight and LGBTQ+ couples and singles around the world fulfill their dreams of parenthood. We've helped bring more than 1,900 babies into this world... and counting!

We're an agency comprised of social workers and lawyers, accountants and outreach associates, and program managers and coordinators; but, more importantly, we're an agency made up of parents, surrogates and egg donors, who are passionate about helping people build their families, and invested in each and every journey.

Circle is proud to have helped so many gay families achieve their dreams of becoming parents. Together, we make parenthood possible.®

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Change the World

One Gay Dad's Fight Against Hate in Superior, Nebraska

Brian Splater is refusing to let homophobic and transphobic elected officials in his town go unchecked

Millie B. Photography

Guest post written by Brian Splater

No one ever should feel they will have a very lonely and secluded life as a child. But that is something me and many other gay kids believe as they are growing up.

The truth of the matter is there are people who will try everything in their power to have our rights go back in time instead of forward. It is very disheartening when these people are elected officials, or they are people who use their place of employment to spread their disgust and hate.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

Boston Will Always Have a Special Place in the Hearts of These Gay Dads

Matt and Rej met in Boston and got engaged in Fenway Park. The latest chapter of their fairytale Beantown romance? Fatherhood.

Husbands Matt Ottaviani and Rej Gareau met in Boston in 2013 via OKCupid. A couple years later, the two returned to get engaged in Fenway Park. And in the latest chapter in their fairytale Beantown romance, it's also where they would begin the process of becoming dads with the help of Circle Surrogacy.


Matt and Rej dated for a short time while they were both living in Boston. Once Rej's studying was complete, he returned to Canada (where he is from) and they continued their relationship long distance. In a little under a year, Matt followed his heart to Ottawa. Together they braved the cold, bought a house, and got married in October 2015, following a proposal at Fenway Park orchestrated by Rej, and including friends and family. Their loved ones watched as Rej got down on one knee on the baseball field, and asked Matt to marry him.

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Popular

"Under Their Spell": Congrats to all the Gay Dads Whose Families Grew in June!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in May and June a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!


Congratulations to dads Ben and Chris on the birth of their daughter Elizabeth!

Seattle husbands Ben and Chris welcomed daughter Elizabeth, May 18, 2019.

"We started our adoption plans last August an after getting all signed up with our agency, we were so lucky to match after only about a month and with a mom pretty close to us geographically!" shared Ben. "We've loved getting to know the birth mom and to go through this journey together, including being with her for her C-section and recovery."

Although the time in the hospital was exhausting emotionally and physically, the new dads couldn't have asked for better care or more accepting and accommodating medical staff. "When we finally met her and got to hold her, we were both in awe of how perfect she was. We're over the moon and under her spell 👨👨👧❤️"

Congratulations to dads Lance and Trevor on finalizing the adoption of their daughter Ava!

Lance and Trevan met in college in 2004 and knew right away that they were soul mates. "We always knew we wanted to be dads and started our adoption process in 2015." The Santa Monica dads welcomed little Ava into their lives in 2018.

"In our minds and hearts, she was ours from the moment we laid eyes on her," said Trevan. "Signing the final adoption papers was very emotional as it was the last step in a very long process. Seeing the smile on her face and her sweet baby giggles is the best thing about being her dad. She makes it easy and we are so lucky to be her dads."

"Our sweet Ava was worth the wait!"

Congratulations to dads Melton and Thomas on finalizing the adoption of their sons Gabriel and Braiden!

On May 17, Florida dads Melton and Thomas celebrated the adoption of their sons Gabriel and Braiden, who join sisters Summer, Kendra and Ashanti. This loving family was created through foster to adopt.

"They are siblings and have been with us since August 2017," said Thomas. "It's been a long journey we have been on with all the kids. But a sense of relief from all of the court hearings, case manger visits, guardian ad litem visits, but all worth it in the end to be able to serve as advocates for the kids."

"Most of all, adoptions provide permanency which every child deserves."

Congratulations to dads Paul and Ken on the birth of their daughter Charlotte!

A new family of four! Paul and his husband Ken welcomed daughter Charlotte in May and their dog Gigi is already a big fan.

"All we can say is that our journey to fatherhood was a true adventure which ended in the best possible way," said Philadelphia dad Paul. "We feel so blessed to be Charlotte's dads, and are inspired by all the other gay dads who paved the way before us."

"It felt so amazing to hold Charlotte for the first time - truly an awe-inspiring experience. The feelings of love are indescribable. She is a true "rockstar" and we are so proud of her."

Congratulations to dads Ned and James on finalizing the adoption of their son Aiden! 

DC dads Ned and James have been together 8 years and always knew they wanted to be fathers. Although the adoption process talk longer than they expected - about two years - Aiden arrived very suddenly, with less than a week's notice. "We were so excited to expand our family, all the short night and everything are so worth it."

The finalization was an exciting day for the family. "It was surreal, after all the waiting, to know he was official our son," said Ned. The celebrated with a nice lunch, and they're planning for a party with close friends and family soon.

Congrats to this forever family!

Congratulations to dads Ryan and Marcin on the birth of their daughter Lexi!

Baby Lexi joins older brother Liam and their dads couldn't be more thrilled! "Lexi joined our family through open adoption, but it was a pretty unique journey," shared Ryan. "We'd only been waiting three weeks when we got a call at 5pm Saturday that a little girl had been born at the hospital closest to our home and her birthmother had chosen us."

The dads weren't expecting to be matched so quickly and literally had nothing for a newborn. "Our village of friends rallied and bought us everything we needed to welcome her home." Twenty three hours after the initial call they brought her home. "The feeling of wholeness and total love was so intense the first time we held her. We knew she was meant to complete our family."

Congrats to this Houston family!

Congratulations to dads Mike and Sean on the birth of their daughter Emilia!

Mike and Sean always knew they wanted to be dads so they started their adoption journey last September. "It has been an emotional roller coaster until the time we were selected by our birth mom," said Mike. "We are so grateful to our birth mom because of her selfless love of this child made our dream come true, especially during the pride month of June."

"The first time we held our little one, it was love at first sight and we knew that it was all worth it and it was the best feeling in the world."

Congrats to this family of three from Orlando, Florida!

Congratulations to dads Adam and Taylor on the birth of their son Sawyer!

Adam and Taylor live in Lehi, Utah, and they began their fatherhood journey through the foster care system. After four years, they decided they were ready to adopt. Their adoption journey moved very quickly, and within a week they were matched. Baby Sawyer was born six weeks later!

"Having Sawyer has been the best," shared Adam. "She is so perfect and we could not be happier! Knowing that she is ours is something that is overwhelming and so exciting! The emotions that come with the journey are a roller coaster...but when she came there has been piece of mind!"

Congratulations to dads Billy and Joe on finalizing the adoption of their son Caleb!

Billy, Joe and Caleb with mothers / grandmothers and great-grandmothers.

Billy and his husband Joe live in Union Beach, New Jersey, and they recently finalized the adoption of their son Billy. "A friend of mine from high school found out she was pregnant and did not want more children and could not care for him so wanted us to adopt," said Billy.

The dads had let folks know that they were looking to adopt so it was, as they said, a "match made in heaven."

"It was a long journey but we were in close contact; we got to go to all the doctors appointments and I was the first one to hold him, skin to skin, in the hospital when he was born and haven't left his side since."

When the adoption was finalized, it felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders and a lot of anxiety melted away. "

When we finally got to the finalization date it was just a weight lifted off her shoulders and a whole lot of anxiety taken. "We were just so happy to know that this beautiful baby boy will be ours forever and always"

Entertainment

How Fatherhood Has Impacted Tom Daley's Diving Career for the Better

British diver Tom Daley, and new-ish gay dad, is looking to qualify for the 2020 Olympics in South Korea.

British diver Tom Daley is currently in the running to qualify for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics in South Korea, his fourth if he competes, at the young age of just 26.

But he also has another concern that most young gay men his age couldn't fathom—fatherhood. He and his husband, filmmaker Dustin Lance Black, recently welcomed Robbie Ray via surrogacy in June 2018.

In an interview with the Independent, Daley explained how fatherhood has changed his routine and training, which he says is often for the better.

"It has changed my life completely in all of the best ways possible," Daley said. "It has changed my perspective, the way I think about things. [My son] is the most important thing in my life, everything I do is for him, everything I think about he is at the forefront of everything."

With respect to his diving career, Daley continued, "if you have a bad day at training, or a good day, you are grounded immediately when you get home through the door because you are having cuddles or you are having to change a dirty nappy. It is the first time that I have been able to leave diving at the diving board and not think about what I need to the next day in the pool."

Whatever the challenges he faces while training, he said, "I can leave it there because you don't have time to think about diving when you are looking after a kid under one."

The strategy seems to be working in Daley's favor. He recently enjoyed his most successful FINA Diving World Series ever this past Spring in Canada, winning 12 medals across five events. And barring any major catastrophe, he is overwhelmingly expected to qualify for South Korea 2020.

And we can't wait to cheer the young dad on!

Politics

America's First Gay Dad Governor Heads Into the Lion's Den

Colorado Governor Jared Polis recently became the first elected Democrat to speak at the annual Western Conservative Summit in Denver

Last Friday, American's first gay dad Governor, Jared Polis, became the first elected Democrat to speak at the Western Conservative Summit in Denver, where he urged the Republican crowd to help him build a "Colorado for all."

"While we should never gloss over the things that divide us, there is a lot more that unites us," Polis said. "When we close ourselves off from discussion or debate, and we reject the possibility of hearing and understanding other perspectives, it threatens the fabric of our democracy."

If he was hoping for a Kumbaya moment, he didn't exactly get it. As he was called to the stage, he was greeted with a smattering of applause—while others booed and shouted for a "recall" of the Governor.

"It was almost unbearable for me to sit there to listen to his talk," Abby Johnson, one of the event's attendees, told the Denver Post. "And I'm going to tell you why. He kept talking about equality for all persons, yet we live in a society where 60 million innocent human beings have been slaughtered in the name of choice. Where is their justice? Where is their equal rights?"

Polis was also criticized from his left flank for attending the same event that refuses to let the Log Cabin Republicans, a group of gay GOP members, participate—and that featured Donald Trump Jr. as a speaker the same day. "To me it feels like vanity," Katie Farnan, a staffer with progressive group Indivisible, told the Denver Post. "He can go and be a hip Democratic governor who isn't afraid to go into GOP sanctuary. Or maybe it's recall insurance. But unless he was there to hold them accountable for their support for fascist and racist policies, what's the point?"

In response to the criticism from both sides of the political aisle, Polis told the Colorado Sun: "I think it's very important that Coloradans of different ideologies, different races, different geographies, different orientations and gender identities all really celebrate that we're all part of what makes Colorado great."

The event is hosted each year by Colorado Christian University to bring together conservatives from around the state, and the larger West.

What do you think, dads? Was Polis's decision to speak at the event a savvy political move or mere pandering?

Entertainment

Hate Group Boycotts 'Toy Story' for Featuring Lesbian Moms—Hilarity Ensues on Twitter

"One Million Moms" announced a boycott of the latest Toy Story movie for *very briefly* featuring lesbian moms. Twitter's response was swift and hilarious.

One Million Moms, which is affiliated with the anti-LGBTQ American Family Association, recently called for a boycott of Toy Story 4 for (very, very briefly) featuring (interracial!) lesbian moms in the animated film. The angry, hateful moms affiliated with this group must have watched the film VERY closely because you could easily blink and miss the moment that apparently "blindsided" viewers.

The Internet reacted with a collective facepalm to the ridiculous boycott. Here are some of our favorite hilarious Twitter reactions to the hateful group:

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Travel

The Golden Age of Vacationing With Kids

WARNING: BUCKLE UP, YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ WAY TOO MANY GOLDEN GIRLS REFERENCES.

Ever feel like you need a vacation from your family vacation? For years, we did too. But I'm happy to report that we don't anymore. So what caused the big shift? I'll get to that. First, a little background.

For years, taking our son Max on road trips had its fair share of, shall I say, challenges. From New York City to London to San Francisco to Vegas… we traveled down the road and back again. And while we made wonderful memories along the way… these trips weren't entirely wonderful. Whether it was Max's inflexible sleep schedule, his limited food palate, potty training, his disinterest in walking or his inability to fully express himself, it never quite felt like a real vacation because we never got to actually relax. But now that Max is almost nine years old, we decided to give it another go… and so we booked a much-needed respite in Florida with one goal in mind — cheesecake — okay, two goals: we wanted to catch our breath!

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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