Gay Dad Life

"This Is Home": Congrats to Gay Men Celebrating Births and Adoptions in April!

Help us congratulate all of the gay, bi and trans men who are celebrating births and adoption in the month of April!

Every month we feel honored to be able to share the awesome news of our families celebrating incredible milestones, such as adoption finalizations and welcoming their newest members. Congratulations to all these beautiful families featured this month!

Circle Surrogacy is the proud sponsor of April's Congrats post. They were founded in 1995 on the belief that everyone should have the opportunity to be a parent. "For over 20 years we've helped LGBTQ+ couples and singles around the world fulfill their dreams of parenthood. We've helped bring more than 1,900 babies into this world... and counting!"


Congratulations to new dads Brian and Scott on the birth of their son Silas!

Husbands Scott and Brian welcomed their first son via surrogacy on March 17, 2019 at 5:35am.

"Witnessing the miracle of birth, with the people that have been on this journey with us was truly emotional and moving," recalled Brian. "Whenever we are asked about our first moments meeting our son we always explain it was the true meaning of love at first sight. In a relationship, you meet someone, you're physically attracted to them, enjoy the same things, laugh together, and ultimately fall in love."

"Even with small hiccups from time to time," added Scott, "the experienced coordinators and advisors have always guided us from Circle and our Fertility Clinic. We have had such a remarkable experience and grateful to hold our little boy Silas James."

We're thrilled for this new family of three, and excited to follow their fatherhood journey.

Congratulations to dads Bobby and Christopher on finalizing the adoption of their son Johan!

This Californian family of three became a forever family of three on March 22, 2019.

"Our adoption journey took about two years to complete - the original agency we signed with filed for bankruptcy, we eventually got an adoption attorney to help us out," said Bobby. "We were there for the birth of our son, Johan, in Washington state. Ten months later, we are in front of a judge to finalize our adoption and couldn't be happier!"

Congrats to this family of three!

Congratulations to dads Terrance and Chase on finalizing the adoption of their son Nylen!

Terrance and Chase began their foster journey in November 2016. They began attending Impact classes with their local state's Department of Family and Children Services. Once all was approved and home study complete, they became foster parents to two great kids along the way.

"Fostering is not for the faint of heart as we became so attached to both kids," shared Chase. "The daily grind of homework, bed-time and helping them see how much of a blessing they are to the world, is an all-in project."

The dads home became empty in March 2018 so they traveled to South Africa, and donated their time, clothes, books and toys to children and families in need. In the summer of 2018, they opened their homes again and were matched with Nylen.

"Nylen, like other children in the DFCS system, has had a troubled past due to things out of his control," said Chase. "All he needed was a true support system, love and consistency."

After attending many court dates and meetings at school to ensure their son received support and teaching to meet his needs, they began starting to see a young man flourish. "Nylen is officially student of the month (April 2019), sportsman of the week in basketball and for the first time he made honor roll! Nylen's birth mother made a tough but loving decision in that for him to thrive he was best with us. As of March 11, 2019, Nylen is home for good and not just as our adopted son but as the missing link."

Congratulations to dads Carter and Remco for welcoming their twins, Cooper and Lily!

"We are very much in love."

On March 18, their second daughter, Lily came into the world, and a minute later her brother Cooper joined her. The twins were born via surrogate in Thailand.

"Holding the twins for the first time was a moment of pure happiness," shared Carter. "Feeling great responsibility to raise these children to be kind and successful in their life. Bring it on. We can do this. We want a big family and we have three kids and a dog now. What's next? Time will tell. Till then we'll enjoy every moment with the twins and their two year old big sister (who is doing great, couldn't make us more proud)."

Lily and Cooper join big sister Ella who was adopted by the dads two years prior.

Congratulations to dads Jon and Chris on welcoming daughter Ariana!

Jon and Chris became dads to baby Ariana via surrogacy. (Here they are at her adoption court hearing 3 weeks after her birth.) They began their surrogacy process in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but recently moved to Key West, Florida right after she was born.

"We had an amazing carrier that may do a sibling project for us here shortly and carry for us again," said Jon. "We chose to not know who's DNA Ariana is and will have the fertility clinic select an embryo from the other one of us for our next one."

"The day she was born, the first emotion was just uninhibited caring and love for her," said Chris. "It's like you live your life learning to guard yourself, ask questions, scope out the situation, learn someone before loving them...but with your own daughter, the moment you see her there are no questions or learning—it's instant and it's overwhelming. She's amazing."

Congratulations to dads Ben and Ryan on welcoming son Morrissey!

Ben and Ryan, an Australian couple, became first-time dads to little Morrissey on March 8, 2019, when he was born via surrogate in Minnesota.

"Our journey lasted 3 years, all worth it," shared Ryan. "When we held our son for the first time, all of our struggles disappeared. The love we have for him is a different love. We feel complete now, as a family."

Congrats to this new family of three!

Congratulations to dads Ben and Andy on welcoming twins Kit and Wren!

On April 2, 2019, Ben and Andy became dads to twin daughters, Kit and Wren, via their amazing surrogate Amber!

"While not simple, our surrogacy journey was pretty smooth," shared Ben. "From our very first inquiry visit to our doctor to the day the girls arrived, it all took less than 18 months and we only had one failed attempt

"We know we have been very lucky and do not take that for granted," added Andy. "We've been fortunate enough to have support of friends, our church, and families throughout the journey, and we've had a very thoughtful and selfless gestational carrier. Ironically, the day the girls were born, the entire hospital was full and the birthing unit was maxed out. We had to make an impromptu room in the hospital's nursery with all the other new born babies coming and going throughout the days for their checkups. Even though we hit this minimal snag, Ben's words summed up the moment perfectly as we did skin to skin for the first time with our daughters. He looked over at me and simply said 'I wish this moment right now could be our jobs for the rest of our lives.'"

Congratulations to dads Eryc and Jeremy for finalizing their kids' adoptions! 

@instantdads

Eryc works at a group home where he met his beautiful kids-to-be! "We built a connection that coincided with them being up for adoption," he explained. "We began the process and made it happen! Longest 9 months of our lives."

Eryc and his husband Jeremy adopted four of the siblings, Kamaria, Keir, Jerrick and Keila, and their close friend adopted the two youngest siblings so they could all stay together. On March 8, 2019, they celebrated being a beautiful blended family!

"Adoption day was magical," said Jeremy. "Full of tears of joy and just a mystical moment of happiness. There is no turning back and we are so appreciative to extend our family with these beautiful souls!"

Congrats to this Fort Lauderdale family!

Congratulations to dads Chris and Kyle on welcoming twins Kavan and Willow! 

Chris and Kyle talked about having kids on their very first date so they knew it was always going to be in the cards for them. The day after they got married two years ago, they attended the Family Expo at The LGBT Center in New York where they learned about all the potential ways to become parents.

"We decided surrogacy would be the right path for us - we signed with an agency (Growing Generations) three months later and we were on our way," said Chris. "Our surrogacy journey went fairly to plan fortunately with only one or two minor bumps. We had an incredibly strong and caring woman as our surrogate and we could not have picked a better person to help us build our family."

On March 29, their twins were born.

"To say there was a lot of emotion when we held our twins for the first time would be an understatement, there was every emotion!" said Kyle. "There was a mix of excitement, relief that they were strong and healthy, fear of accidentally breaking them, and an incredible sense of love and admiration. It was hard to believe that the time had actually arrived when we were holding our children but it was a moment that we were, and still are, extremely grateful to be able to have. It'll be something that we'll never forget!"

Congrats to this Los Angeles based family!

Congratulations to dads Tomas and Daniel on finalizing the adoption of their kids! 

Tomas and Daniel always wanted a large family. "We started our journey to fatherhood eight years ago, fostering to adopt siblings Kevin and Alexis. After about a year of fostering we adopted them."

Two years later they returned to their foster agency for a second round and were placed with and eventually adopted siblings Nikko and Jonathan.

Last year they decided to return again, and adopted two siblings on April 23, 2019.

"It has had its trials and lots of testing of relationships but we have persevered keeping a happy family," shared Tomas. "On the day we finalized our kids adoption, we were thrilled. Part was the relief that there were no appeals, part that we will have no more multi county and multi agency social worker visits to schedule, no more paperwork, and the biggest most important part was that the kids know this is their forever home. This is home."

Congrats to this Californian forever family!

Circle was founded in 1995 on the belief that everyone should have the opportunity to be a parent. To this day, that belief is at the core of everything we do. For over 20 years we've helped straight and LGBTQ+ couples and singles around the world fulfill their dreams of parenthood. We've helped bring more than 1,900 babies into this world... and counting!

We're an agency comprised of social workers and lawyers, accountants and outreach associates, and program managers and coordinators; but, more importantly, we're an agency made up of parents, surrogates and egg donors, who are passionate about helping people build their families, and invested in each and every journey.

Circle is proud to have helped so many gay families achieve their dreams of becoming parents. Together, we make parenthood possible.®

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Gay Dad Family Stories

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Janno Talu, an accountant, and Matthias Nijs, an art gallery director, were born in different parts of Europe. Janno, 39, is from Estonia, and Matthias, 28, is from Belgium. Their paths crossed when the two moved to London, each from their different corners of the European Union.

Janno relocated to London earlier than Matthias, when he was 24, and his main reason for the move was his sexuality. "Although Estonia is considered one of the more progressive countries in Eastern Europe, when it comes to gay rights, it is still decades behind Western society in terms of tolerance," said Janno. "And things are not moving in the right direction." In 2016, same-sex civil union became legal, but the junior party in the current coalition government is seeking to repeal the same-sex partnership bill. "In addition," Janno continued, "they wish to include the definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman in the country's constitution. Even today, there are people in Estonia who liken homosexuality to pedophilia, which is why I decided to start a new life in the UK, where I could finally be myself."

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Fear is an interesting thing. It motivates when it shouldn't, shows at inconvenient times, and is the author of stories that do nothing but hold us back. I would argue though, too, that fear has some good qualities. I believe it helps us to feel. And I think it can be a great teacher as we learn to recognize and face it.

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Only so much growth and learning can occur when we limit ourselves to our fears. If people never did anything they were afraid to do, life would be incredibly boring and far too predictable. At some point we must face the things we fear and just go for it not knowing what will happen next.

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I loved and do love every person who has ever come into my office and treat them like family. We laugh together during visits, celebrate wins, cry together, often hug, and cheer each other on regarding various things in our life. That's also a large part of who I am: a people person. I enjoy spending quality time with those I am privileged to help. No one comes in my office and only sees me for 2-5 minutes.

Even though there was so much good that I had built into my brand and reputation fear eventually found its way into my business too. I was afraid of what would happen if people found out the truth. Would they be okay with having a gay chiropractor? Would they still trust me to be able to help them? Of course, the story in my head I was telling myself was much bigger and badder than it needed to be.

When we decided to get a divorce, I felt strongly that I needed to face these fears and begin telling a number of patients the truth of what was happening in my life. I know in reality it is no one's business but my own. However, I felt like I needed to let my patients who had become like family to me truly see me for who I am, and who I always was. And so slowly, case by case, I began to tell a select number of people.

I'll never forget the first patient I told. She had been coming in for years and was bringing her son in to see me who is on the autism spectrum. It was the day after my ex-wife and I decided to get a divorce and she could tell something heavy was on my mind. I eventually came out to her. The first words out of her mouth were "I am so proud of you!" We cried and hugged and it was the complete opposite of what I ever expected. And it was perfect. I felt loved. I felt accepted. I felt seen.

As time went on it got easier. And overall the responses were all completely positive and supportive. Out of all the patients I told and those who found out from other circles, only three stopped coming in to see me. Since coming out, my office has grown tremendously. My reputation hasn't changed. If anything, it's solidified. I can't help but think that part of that is due to finally embracing all of me and allowing others the same opportunity.

I read somewhere once that you never really stop coming out of the closet. And I've noticed that too. Sure, not everyone needs to know; it isn't everyone's business. And I hope that one day we live in a time period where fear doesn't prevent anyone from being seen. I want to contribute to the upward trajectory I think our society is headed of understanding, acceptance, support, and equality.

I would love to be able to say that after coming out publicly I no longer feel fear; but I do. And I think in some ways I always will no matter what. But that's part of life, right? Recognizing fear when we have it but then choosing to move forward out of love – love for others, but maybe more importantly love for ourselves.

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"As a trans person, I was terrified to be targeted by anti-LGBTQ people and experienced genuine fear for my own safety," Trystan wrote. In response, he did what many LGBTQ people would do in a similar situation — reach out to his community in Boston, and ask for their support. "And they came," he wrote. But it wasn't just anyone within the LGBTQ community that came to his defense, he emphasized — "you know who came? Gay men. Gay dads, to be exact. They came, ready to block people from coming in, ready to call building security, ready to protect me so I could lead my event. They did it without question and without reward. They did it because it was the right thing to do."

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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