Gay Dad Life

"Every Day We Fall More in Love," Congrats to These Gay Dads On Their Recent Births and Adoptions!

Help us congratualte to these gay dads on their recent births and adoptions!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in September a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!


Congratulations to Dennis and Paul on the adoption of their son Lukas Antonio!

Toronto dads Dennis and Paul are thrilled to have finalized the adoption of their son Lukas on October 5, 2018.

"It felt amazing to finally have it finalized and over, and to know he is legally ours in every sense," shared Dennis. "We've worked hard for this - it took 5 long years - a long process and procedure."

"The feeling is indescribable and amazing to know he is all ours," added Paul.

We wish this Toronto forever of three much happiness!

Congratulations to dads Enrique and Mason on the birth of their twins, Amalia and Sebastian!

On August 24, 2018, Amalia Luz and Sebastian James came into the world via surrogacy. It had been a long and emotional 4-year journey for dads Enrique Pinilla and Mason Schmitz who began researching surrogacy when they were living in Asia.

"We chose Thailand at first, but legalities changed and we then chose to work with an agency in the US but all the medical and surrogate steps would happen in Mexico, which proved to be a painful experience," shared Enrique. "After failed attempts, legal issues and depleted savings, in the end, we decided to bite the bullet and started exploring avenues here in the US ... and we couldn't be happier with our providers and, of course, the outcome."

"Five and a half weeks into fatherhood, and the best has been the special bonding experience throughout our NICU stay," said Mason. "We have been at "home" for just one night, and the bonding and getting to know each other continues."

"Everyday we fall more in love with our kiddos, and with each other, a surprising gift," added Enrique.

Congrats to this new family of four from Minneapolis!

Congratulations to Paul and Justin on the birth of their twin daughters!

Paul and Justin, originally from Melbourne, Australia, welcomed their twin daughters in their new home of London, UK.

"Our path to fatherhood like most people, has been long but worthwhile journey," shared Paul. "We packed up our lives in Melbourne and moved to London, as it's illegal for gay men to undertake surrogacy in Australia."

At first, they tried the adoption route in London as they wanted to help children in need find a home, but after two years of trying they were rejected on questionable grounds. At that point, they started planning surrogacy.

And on October 10 this year, the two men finally became dads!

"Holding our daughters for the first time was a huge relief and somewhat overwhelming," said Justin. "It made all the effort and sacrifice worth it and it now starts a brand new chapter for us."

Both new dads cried when they met their gorgeous girls for the first time - such a wonderful and magical moment. Congrats to this family of four!

Congratulations to dads Chris and Gerardo on finalizing the adoption of Jaitus!

It took 2 years and 5 months for dads Chris and Gerardo to finalize the adoption of son Jaitus from the LA county foster care system. It was also the time when the two husbands were celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary!

"It's official!" said Chris. "We were always a family, the only thing that changed is that we share a last name now."

Congrats to this forever family of four in Los Angeles.

Congrats to dads Thomas and Ari on their recent marriage!

Dads Thomas and Ari, partners for the past 15 years, finally tied the knot this past September! And get this for cuteness - their son was their best man!

"We were so happy that we could get married," said Thomas, "and the best part was that our son was the best man in our wedding. We were so excited about that we didn't even have time to understand that we were getting married at that moment."

This family of three live in Tel Aviv, Israel, and were married in California.

Congratulations to Mark and Marc on the birth of their baby girl, Sophie!

Mark (Daddy) and Marc (Dada) spent the first 10 years of their 12 year relationship convincing themselves they didn't want kids. As they watched their friends grow their families, and when Mark turned 30, that all changed. They wanted to become dads. So they started their journey. They considered both adoption and surrogacy, but fortuitously their close friend put them in touch with her friend who had been a surrogate. Nine months later, and they were matched, and planning the pregnancy.

Sophie was born September 10, 2018.

The dads describe holding her for the first time as "breathless" and "surreal." "It didn't feel at all real, like we would wake from a dream at any moment," said Mark. "There was an overwhelming sense of pride, love and a desire to protect her at all costs."

Congrats to this new family of three from Essex, United Kingdom.

Congratulations to Kyle and Charles on the birth of their twins!

As ex-pats in Shanghai, China, adoption was not an option for this American French couple. Since Kyle grew up in Oregon, it made sense to the husbands to work with an agency near his family, although they are long-term residents of Shanghai where they both have businesses.

"Our journey to fatherhood via surrogacy felt long but was super smooth, with virtually no bumps - except a gorgeous big belly - along the way," said Kyle. "We approached the fact that we were able to achieve our dream of fatherhood from a place of deep thankfulness."

Henri and Lucile were born October 10, 2018.

"When we first held our kids, it felt like a wave of blissful joy immediately washing over us - and we're still riding that wave of snuggles, kisses, midnight diaper changes, feedings, and all the firsts new parents enjoy," said Charles. "We also felt an immense gratitude to our unbelievable surrogate who did it all naturally, full-term and with only a few expletives during an intense delivery!"

Congrats to the happy family!

Congratulations to Stephen and Tyler on the birth of their son Landon!

This Tampa couple became dads with the help of one of their closest friends from grade school who carried their son. Tyler and Stephen welcomed son Landon on October 21, 2018.

"We felt like it was the happiest day of our lives," shared Stephen. "We were overcome with happiness."

"It's so crazy how much you can love something so much, instantly; we felt our lives changed forever," added Tyler. "We love him so much and feel so blessed to have him."

Congrats to this new family of three!

Congrats to new dads Devon and Jordan on the birth of their daughter, Ruby!

Jordan and Devon met 10 years ago in Los Angeles. "I fell hard, and fast," shared Devon via an Instagram post. "The last 9+ years with him have been an amazing adventure filled with travel to new parts of the world, a viral wedding video, hand crafted Halloween costumes, and moving from the big city to the quiet suburbs...all with Jordan by my side. It's time for yet another adventure for Jordan and I, fatherhood! So, without further or do, meet Ruby MacIver Finley, our daughter."

After over a year of actively searching for a birth mom. They got a last minute call, hopped on a cross-country plane to welcome their daughter. The new dads are over the moon!

Congrats to dads-to-be Jensy and Junior on their exciting news!

Jensy and Junior are so excited to share their news - they're going to be dads! Originally from the Dominican Republic, these two now live in New York City, are due to become dads via surrogacy in January 2019.

"We are looking forward to teaching our baby the best things about life," shared Jensy. "To raise him or her to be a great person with good values, and we can't wait to take our baby to school... I think I will cry that day with emotion!"

We're so excited to follow their journey!

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Gay Dad Life

The Suburban Gay Dad

Are you intimidated by the suburbs? This gay dad was — but then he moved there.

In a recent article for Yahoo! Lifestyle, Steve Jacobs says the thought of living in the suburbs as a gay dad "intimidated" him. But when he started fantasizing about garages, he began to question that notion. Any apprehension he had soon evaporated, he said, one winter morning while trying to navigate the snowy streets of New York City with a stroller.

While "pushing the stroller through snow banks and pools of slush with snowflakes stinging our faces," he wrote, "a vision came to me: I pictured us walking into a garage, hopping into a car, and arriving at a diner with 10 times less drama. This image planted the seed of moving to the 'burbs that I couldn't shake."

Soon, the family of four found a house in a town a half hour outside the city. "It had grass and a beautiful yard for our spirited kiddos. The schools were good. There were even good restaurants. The only red flag: Census data estimated only 0.1 percent of the population was gay male."

There were some "growing pains" while trying to make friends in this environment. "When we attended our first dinner party, within minutes the hostess went to the kitchen and the other wives followed her, while the husbands settled into the living room. Ira and I froze, looking at each other. In the city, our straight friends hadn't separated out like this for the evening. Should we stay with the dudes, exert our masculinity, and blow off the mom we liked? Or does one of us go with the wives and accept the personal branding that comes with that? We did a quick rock paper scissors in the foyer. Ira went with the wives."

But ultimately, "being a parent defined me more than I ever imagined it would," he wrote, and he settled in nicely to his new suburban life.

Have you had a similar adjustment, from city life to the suburbs? Tell us about it at dads@gayswithkids.com for an upcoming piece!

Gay Dad Life

"Fridays with Fitz": A New Kid's Book Based Upon the Son of These Two Dads

Tracey Wimperly, author of the new children's book, said she hopes to give a more honest portrayal of the role grandparents play in the lives of children.

Guest post Tracey Wimperly

I've recently written a children's picture book (aimed at 2-4 year olds) called "Fridays with Fitz: Fitz Goes to the Pool." Every Friday - when his two dads go to work - Fitz and his grandparents (my husband, Steve and I) head off on an adventure. Through the eyes of a curious and energetic 3 year old, even ordinary adventures, like riding the bus or foraging for fungus in the forest can be fun and magical.

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Gay Dad Life

8 Ways for Dads to Find Work/Life Balance

Finding work/life balance is hard enough... but can be even harder for gay dads.

Having kids is an amazing part of life, and it should be fun. Life does tend to get in the way sometimes, and one huge aspect of that is work. Striking that balance between work and home life is tough. If you both work it's even harder.

And if you're a gay couple, it can have it's own set of problems above and beyond the standard work-life issues that people face. Recently, the Harvard Business Review conducted a study that focused specifically on the experiences of same-sex couples who wanted to make moves towards a work/life balance.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

David and Ben Met on the Dance Floor — and Are Now Grooving Their Way Through Fatherhood

David and Ben, who became fathers with the help of Northwest Surrogacy Center, live in Melbourne with their daughter, Maia.

In 2003, while both studying at Reading University in the UK, Ben Suter and David Cocks met after locking eyes on the dance floor and then being introduced by a mutual friend. Ben, a meteorologist and Operations Manager, and David, an Assistant Principal, have been together ever since. They moved to Australia together in 2010, seeking a different life, and an overall better work-life balance. The chose Cairns in Queensland as their new home, between the Great Barrier Reef and the tropical rainforest, "taking life a bit easier," said David. The couple were also married in June 2016, back home in England.

While David always wanted kids, Ben took a little convincing. So they started their parenting journey with a dog, Titan, who quickly became like their first born. From there, Ben came around rather quickly.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Single Gay Dad and the City

When Kyle decided to take his four kids, ages 6-11, to New York City on vacation, his friends thought he was crazy.

"You're crazy, Kyle."

"You can't be serious? A single dad taking four kids to the Big Apple? Think again."

"That's bold. There's no way I'd do that."

Those were a few of the responses I heard from my friends as I told them I was thinking of booking a trip to New York City with four kids, ages 11-6. My children's fall vacation from school was approaching and I wanted to get out of the house and explore. Was the Big Apple too much of an adventure?

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News

National's Pitcher Cites Wife's Two Moms as Reason for Declining White House Invite

"I think that's an important part of allyship," Doolittle said of his wife's two moms.

Sean Doolittle, pitcher for the Washington Nationals, declined an invitation to the White House after his team won the World Series this year. In an interview with the Washington Post, he listed his numerous reasons for staying home — and a main consideration, he revealed, was his wife's two moms.

"I want to show support for them. I think that's an important part of allyship, and I don't want to turn my back on them," Doolittle said during the interview.

Trump's treatment of a minority groups, generally, factored into his decision as well. "I have a brother-in-law who has autism, and [Trump] is a guy that mocked a disabled reporter. How would I explain that to him that I hung out with somebody who mocked the way that he talked or the way that he moves his hands? I can't get past that stuff."

Doolitttle clarified that his decision had little to do with policy disagreements with the White House. "There's a lot of things, policies that I disagree with, but at the end of the day, it has more to do with the divisive rhetoric and the enabling of conspiracy theories and widening the divide in this country. My wife and I stand for inclusion and acceptance, and we've done work with refugees, people that come from, you know, the 'shithole countries.'"

He concluded by saying he respected his teammates decision to attend the White house ceremony. "I want people to know that I put thought into this, and at the end of the day, I just can't go."

Read more of the Washington Post interview here.

News

New York Will Fight 'Repugnant' Trump Rule on Adoption, Says Cuomo

Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York promises legal action of the Trump administration moves ahead with plans to allow discrimination against LGBTQ adoptive and foster parents

Last week, the Trump administration announced plans to allow adoption and foster care agencies to discriminate against prospective LGBTQ parents — but he may face a legal fight from (former) hometown. In a tweet, Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York said the proposed move "isn't just discriminatory and repugnant to our values,— it's also heartless and dumb as it would deny countless children a loving family and a safe place to call home." If the proposal moves forward, he continued. "we'll take legal action to stop it.

Governor Cuomo's office followed up the tweet with a lengthier statement posted to their website:

Once again the Trump administration is attacking the hard-earned rights and protections of the LGBTQ community, this time proposing a new measure that would give foster care and adoption agencies license to discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

Trump's proposal isn't just discriminatory and repugnant to our values — it's also heartless and dumb as it would deny countless children a loving family and a safe place to call home. If he moves forward with this rule, we'll take legal action to stop it.

No matter what happens in Washington, New York State is and will continue to be a beacon of equality in this country. Our Human Rights Law and adoption regulations expressly prohibit discrimination against the LGBTQ community, including when it comes to adoption. I encourage any LGBTQ New Yorker who feels they are a victim of this discrimination to contact the State Division of Human Rights for assistance.

Our message to the Trump administration is simple: there is no place for hate in New York or in our nation, and we will not allow this noxious proposal to stop LGBTQ New Yorkers from becoming parents or providing care to children in need.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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