Gay Dad Life

"Every Day We Fall More in Love," Congrats to These Gay Dads On Their Recent Births and Adoptions!

Help us congratualte to these gay dads on their recent births and adoptions!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in September a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!


Congratulations to Dennis and Paul on the adoption of their son Lukas Antonio!

Toronto dads Dennis and Paul are thrilled to have finalized the adoption of their son Lukas on October 5, 2018.

"It felt amazing to finally have it finalized and over, and to know he is legally ours in every sense," shared Dennis. "We've worked hard for this - it took 5 long years - a long process and procedure."

"The feeling is indescribable and amazing to know he is all ours," added Paul.

We wish this Toronto forever of three much happiness!

Congratulations to dads Enrique and Mason on the birth of their twins, Amalia and Sebastian!

On August 24, 2018, Amalia Luz and Sebastian James came into the world via surrogacy. It had been a long and emotional 4-year journey for dads Enrique Pinilla and Mason Schmitz who began researching surrogacy when they were living in Asia.

"We chose Thailand at first, but legalities changed and we then chose to work with an agency in the US but all the medical and surrogate steps would happen in Mexico, which proved to be a painful experience," shared Enrique. "After failed attempts, legal issues and depleted savings, in the end, we decided to bite the bullet and started exploring avenues here in the US ... and we couldn't be happier with our providers and, of course, the outcome."

"Five and a half weeks into fatherhood, and the best has been the special bonding experience throughout our NICU stay," said Mason. "We have been at "home" for just one night, and the bonding and getting to know each other continues."

"Everyday we fall more in love with our kiddos, and with each other, a surprising gift," added Enrique.

Congrats to this new family of four from Minneapolis!

Congratulations to Paul and Justin on the birth of their twin daughters!

Paul and Justin, originally from Melbourne, Australia, welcomed their twin daughters in their new home of London, UK.

"Our path to fatherhood like most people, has been long but worthwhile journey," shared Paul. "We packed up our lives in Melbourne and moved to London, as it's illegal for gay men to undertake surrogacy in Australia."

At first, they tried the adoption route in London as they wanted to help children in need find a home, but after two years of trying they were rejected on questionable grounds. At that point, they started planning surrogacy.

And on October 10 this year, the two men finally became dads!

"Holding our daughters for the first time was a huge relief and somewhat overwhelming," said Justin. "It made all the effort and sacrifice worth it and it now starts a brand new chapter for us."

Both new dads cried when they met their gorgeous girls for the first time - such a wonderful and magical moment. Congrats to this family of four!

Congratulations to dads Chris and Gerardo on finalizing the adoption of Jaitus!

It took 2 years and 5 months for dads Chris and Gerardo to finalize the adoption of son Jaitus from the LA county foster care system. It was also the time when the two husbands were celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary!

"It's official!" said Chris. "We were always a family, the only thing that changed is that we share a last name now."

Congrats to this forever family of four in Los Angeles.

Congrats to dads Thomas and Ari on their recent marriage!

Dads Thomas and Ari, partners for the past 15 years, finally tied the knot this past September! And get this for cuteness - their son was their best man!

"We were so happy that we could get married," said Thomas, "and the best part was that our son was the best man in our wedding. We were so excited about that we didn't even have time to understand that we were getting married at that moment."

This family of three live in Tel Aviv, Israel, and were married in California.

Congratulations to Mark and Marc on the birth of their baby girl, Sophie!

Mark (Daddy) and Marc (Dada) spent the first 10 years of their 12 year relationship convincing themselves they didn't want kids. As they watched their friends grow their families, and when Mark turned 30, that all changed. They wanted to become dads. So they started their journey. They considered both adoption and surrogacy, but fortuitously their close friend put them in touch with her friend who had been a surrogate. Nine months later, and they were matched, and planning the pregnancy.

Sophie was born September 10, 2018.

The dads describe holding her for the first time as "breathless" and "surreal." "It didn't feel at all real, like we would wake from a dream at any moment," said Mark. "There was an overwhelming sense of pride, love and a desire to protect her at all costs."

Congrats to this new family of three from Essex, United Kingdom.

Congratulations to Kyle and Charles on the birth of their twins!

As ex-pats in Shanghai, China, adoption was not an option for this American French couple. Since Kyle grew up in Oregon, it made sense to the husbands to work with an agency near his family, although they are long-term residents of Shanghai where they both have businesses.

"Our journey to fatherhood via surrogacy felt long but was super smooth, with virtually no bumps - except a gorgeous big belly - along the way," said Kyle. "We approached the fact that we were able to achieve our dream of fatherhood from a place of deep thankfulness."

Henri and Lucile were born October 10, 2018.

"When we first held our kids, it felt like a wave of blissful joy immediately washing over us - and we're still riding that wave of snuggles, kisses, midnight diaper changes, feedings, and all the firsts new parents enjoy," said Charles. "We also felt an immense gratitude to our unbelievable surrogate who did it all naturally, full-term and with only a few expletives during an intense delivery!"

Congrats to the happy family!

Congratulations to Stephen and Tyler on the birth of their son Landon!

This Tampa couple became dads with the help of one of their closest friends from grade school who carried their son. Tyler and Stephen welcomed son Landon on October 21, 2018.

"We felt like it was the happiest day of our lives," shared Stephen. "We were overcome with happiness."

"It's so crazy how much you can love something so much, instantly; we felt our lives changed forever," added Tyler. "We love him so much and feel so blessed to have him."

Congrats to this new family of three!

Congrats to new dads Devon and Jordan on the birth of their daughter, Ruby!

Jordan and Devon met 10 years ago in Los Angeles. "I fell hard, and fast," shared Devon via an Instagram post. "The last 9+ years with him have been an amazing adventure filled with travel to new parts of the world, a viral wedding video, hand crafted Halloween costumes, and moving from the big city to the quiet suburbs...all with Jordan by my side. It's time for yet another adventure for Jordan and I, fatherhood! So, without further or do, meet Ruby MacIver Finley, our daughter."

After over a year of actively searching for a birth mom. They got a last minute call, hopped on a cross-country plane to welcome their daughter. The new dads are over the moon!

Congrats to dads-to-be Jensy and Junior on their exciting news!

Jensy and Junior are so excited to share their news - they're going to be dads! Originally from the Dominican Republic, these two now live in New York City, are due to become dads via surrogacy in January 2019.

"We are looking forward to teaching our baby the best things about life," shared Jensy. "To raise him or her to be a great person with good values, and we can't wait to take our baby to school... I think I will cry that day with emotion!"

We're so excited to follow their journey!

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How to Get Your Little Ones to Eat (and Enjoy!) Their Vegetables

Meet David and Danny fathers and founders of Kekoa Foods sharing some tips on how to keep your little ones eating their healthy vegetables during the hecticness of the holidays.


Watch:

Tip Number 1 – Try to prepare your own meals with fresh ingredients. Doing so gives you better control over the amount of sugar, sodium and cholesterol you and your family consume.

Tip Number 2 – Experiment in your kitchen with herbs and spices you haven't used before. Some items we've added in recent years include cumin, tarragon, curry, turmeric and ginger. Start slowly, though, you can always add more next time.

Tip Number 3 – Use veggies instead of pasta to get more veggies in your diet. We like spaghetti squash, zucchini and beets for this purpose and toss them with our favorite sauce.

Tip Number 4 – Instead of adding cream to veggie dishes to get your kids to eat them, sprinkle them with just a touch of parmesan cheese and add fresh lemon juice. It enhances flavor without adding a significant amount of cholesterol or fat.

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A 'Men Having Babies' Conference Started These Happy New Dads on Their Path to Parenthood

In the Bay Area? Sign up now for the next Men Having Babies Conference taking place this January 12-13!

Last year, after 12 years together, Jimmy Nguyen and Michael Duque were finally ready to become dads. And so in 2017 they began their journey to fatherhood. Little did they know how quickly that would become a reality. What began with a serendipitous sighting of an ad for an upcoming Men Having Babies conference resulted in the joyous birth of their son in October 2018. Here's their story.

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Son of Gay Dad Pens Article in Vice About Accidentally Finding Out About His Father's Sexuality

Julien cried when his father first came out, a moment he's always regretted. But he's found multiple opportunities to show his support since.

In an article for Vice Netherlands, Julien Goyet speaks about the experience of learning about his father's sexuality by accident, when his younger brother heard him repeatedly saying the word "gay" on the phone. When his dad confirmed it was true, Julian says he burst into tears. Though he was just a young boy at the time, it's a moment he's nonetheless always regretted.

"Through the years, I've often asked myself why I did that – why I couldn't have been more understanding. Maybe it was because I realised then and there that it would mean my parents were never getting back together."

Julien continues by saying he's thankful for the multiple opportunities he's had since to make up for that moment.

"Thankfully, four years after he came out to us, he told us about a secret boyfriend he'd had for a while, and we were nothing but happy for him," he wrote. "I can remember the moment he showed me a picture of his partner. It was a Saturday afternoon and he'd called me up to his office in the attic. I went upstairs and found my father behind his computer. On the screen appeared a picture of a handsome man, sitting in a cafe. "That's him," he said, with what I'm pretty sure was pride in his voice. It was weird to see the man my father had fallen in love with – he was handsome and cool, and, thankfully, I didn't feel the urge to cry this time. My father, now more comfortable in his sexuality, asked if I wanted to meet his partner."

With his mother remarried to another man and his father happily partnered, Julien concludes by saying, "now, I have two stepdads. We all celebrate Christmas together. Now and again my father and I have dinner at a restaurant in Amsterdam where burgers are named after drag queens, and he sometimes sends me selfies when he's partying at the Pride parade. I once tagged along with him to his favourite gay bar, where I met all the friends he's made there over the years. It's a place he comes often, and I had no idea it existed all that time. I'm happy that's changed."

Read the full moving essay here.







Above all, I wondered what it would be like to see my father kissing another man. That's happened a couple of times now and it actually feels just the same as when you see your own parents kiss in public – incredibly awkward but also kind of sweet. I'm happy he feels free to do so in his own home now. It's like he's been liberated. Now I wish he had done all this a lot sooner. But he told us he didn't want to confuse us, and he would have gone about it the same way if he had had a new girlfriend. "A divorce, a new stepdad, your father coming out – it all seemed a bit much for you kids," he said.

Now, I have two stepdads. We all celebrate Christmas together. Now and again my father and I have dinner at a restaurant in Amsterdam where burgers are named after drag queens, and he sometimes sends me selfies when he's partying at the Pride parade. I once tagged along with him to his favourite gay bar, where I met all the friends he's made there over the years. It's a place he comes often, and I had no idea it existed all that time. I'm happy that's changed.

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When thinking about having kids via surrogacy, the legal part is just as important as the IVF process itself. Making sure that the agreements with the surrogate and the egg donor are set up properly is a solid base for the whole process itself. And then there are issues like legal guardianship and birth certificates that are also crucial for finishing the process with babies that are completely, legally yours. We turned to Fertility Lawyer and gay dad Richard Vaughn of International Fertility Law Group, to set the record straight about the legal steps that must be taken when having babies through IVF.

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Rebel Dad: 1st Gay Canadian to Adopt Internationally Writes New Memoir

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Excerpt #1 – From Chapter 1: The Search (1793 Words)

As the first openly gay Canadian man approved to adopt internationally, David McKinstry set a legal precedent in 1997. A few years later, with his second husband, Michael, he did so again when they became the first gay Canadian couple to co-adopt children.

The following is an excerpt from the first chapter of his new book Rebel Dad: Triumphing Over Bureaucracy to Adopt to Orphans Born Worlds Apart. Here, it's 1998 and David finds himself in India. While in India, David visits several orphanages with his guide, Vinod, on his quest to adopt. With Indian adoption officials being extremely homophobic at the time, David could not reveal that he was a gay man.

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Are You a Bisexual Dad? Gays With Kids Wants to Tell Your Story!

After a recent reader pointed out our lack of stories featuring bi men, we're reaching out to try to increase exposure for the bi dad community!

Recently, Gays With Kids received the following message via one of our social media channels:

"Hey guys, love what you do. But where are your stories about bi men who are dads? Do they not exist? I get the sense from your page that most queer dads identify as gay. I identify as bi (or pansexual) and want to become a dad one day, but just never see my story represented. Are they just not out there?"

We can say with resounding certainly that YES bisexual dads absolutely exist. In fact, of all the letters in our acronym, far more LGBTQ parents fall into the "b" category than any other.

But our reader is certainly right in one respect--we don't hear the stories of bisexual/pansexual dads told nearly often enough. While we occasionally find stories to tell about bi dads, like this great one from earlier this year from a dad who just came out, we otherwise aren't often finding stories of bi dads nearly as easy as we do gay dads. We're sure this is due to any number of reasons--societal pressure to stay closeted from both the straight and LGBTQ communities along with erasure of bisexuality both come to mind.

But it's also because we haven't done the best job reaching out specifically to the bi dad community! We hope to change that. So if you are a bi man who is a father (or wants to become a father) and in a relationship with a man OR woman (or are single!) we want to hear from you! Click here so we can help tell your story and increase exposure for the bi dad community, or drop us a line at dads@gayswithkids.com!

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Two Clinics in Netherlands to Start Offering IVF Services to Gay Couples and Surrogate Mothers

At least two Dutch IVF clinics say they will serve gay couples in 2019 for the first time, according to a current affairs show

According to Pink News, the Netherlands will be the next country to offer IVF treatment to gay couples, starting next year. The news was first reported on a current affairs show De Monitor that undertook a survey of the country's fertility clinics. They found two facilities who have agreed to provide IVF treatment in the coming year.

This will add the Netherlands to the short list of countries in which gay couples seeking to use surrogacy to start their families won't have to look abroad to do so.

The article quotes a local clinician as saying on the show: "I think it's crazy that gay couples, but also women who have medical issues, have to go abroad to fulfil their desire to have children, while all medical and technical expertise and knowledge is in house."

Dutch gay couples may still face some legal headaches, however. According to Dutch Law, Pink News writes, the person that gives birth to the child is the legal parent. While the law was updated in 2014 to allow a non-biological lesbian parent to claim guardianship over her child, no such accommodation has yet been made for gay couples. They will still need to seek a court's approval before gaining legal parenting writes until the law is changed.

Read the article here.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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