Gay Dad Life

"Every Day We Fall More in Love," Congrats to These Gay Dads On Their Recent Births and Adoptions!

Help us congratualte to these gay dads on their recent births and adoptions!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in September a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!


Congratulations to Dennis and Paul on the adoption of their son Lukas Antonio!

Toronto dads Dennis and Paul are thrilled to have finalized the adoption of their son Lukas on October 5, 2018.

"It felt amazing to finally have it finalized and over, and to know he is legally ours in every sense," shared Dennis. "We've worked hard for this - it took 5 long years - a long process and procedure."

"The feeling is indescribable and amazing to know he is all ours," added Paul.

We wish this Toronto forever of three much happiness!

Congratulations to dads Enrique and Mason on the birth of their twins, Amalia and Sebastian!

On August 24, 2018, Amalia Luz and Sebastian James came into the world via surrogacy. It had been a long and emotional 4-year journey for dads Enrique Pinilla and Mason Schmitz who began researching surrogacy when they were living in Asia.

"We chose Thailand at first, but legalities changed and we then chose to work with an agency in the US but all the medical and surrogate steps would happen in Mexico, which proved to be a painful experience," shared Enrique. "After failed attempts, legal issues and depleted savings, in the end, we decided to bite the bullet and started exploring avenues here in the US ... and we couldn't be happier with our providers and, of course, the outcome."

"Five and a half weeks into fatherhood, and the best has been the special bonding experience throughout our NICU stay," said Mason. "We have been at "home" for just one night, and the bonding and getting to know each other continues."

"Everyday we fall more in love with our kiddos, and with each other, a surprising gift," added Enrique.

Congrats to this new family of four from Minneapolis!

Congratulations to Paul and Justin on the birth of their twin daughters!

Paul and Justin, originally from Melbourne, Australia, welcomed their twin daughters in their new home of London, UK.

"Our path to fatherhood like most people, has been long but worthwhile journey," shared Paul. "We packed up our lives in Melbourne and moved to London, as it's illegal for gay men to undertake surrogacy in Australia."

At first, they tried the adoption route in London as they wanted to help children in need find a home, but after two years of trying they were rejected on questionable grounds. At that point, they started planning surrogacy.

And on October 10 this year, the two men finally became dads!

"Holding our daughters for the first time was a huge relief and somewhat overwhelming," said Justin. "It made all the effort and sacrifice worth it and it now starts a brand new chapter for us."

Both new dads cried when they met their gorgeous girls for the first time - such a wonderful and magical moment. Congrats to this family of four!

Congratulations to dads Chris and Gerardo on finalizing the adoption of Jaitus!

It took 2 years and 5 months for dads Chris and Gerardo to finalize the adoption of son Jaitus from the LA county foster care system. It was also the time when the two husbands were celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary!

"It's official!" said Chris. "We were always a family, the only thing that changed is that we share a last name now."

Congrats to this forever family of four in Los Angeles.

Congrats to dads Thomas and Ari on their recent marriage!

Dads Thomas and Ari, partners for the past 15 years, finally tied the knot this past September! And get this for cuteness - their son was their best man!

"We were so happy that we could get married," said Thomas, "and the best part was that our son was the best man in our wedding. We were so excited about that we didn't even have time to understand that we were getting married at that moment."

This family of three live in Tel Aviv, Israel, and were married in California.

Congratulations to Mark and Marc on the birth of their baby girl, Sophie!

Mark (Daddy) and Marc (Dada) spent the first 10 years of their 12 year relationship convincing themselves they didn't want kids. As they watched their friends grow their families, and when Mark turned 30, that all changed. They wanted to become dads. So they started their journey. They considered both adoption and surrogacy, but fortuitously their close friend put them in touch with her friend who had been a surrogate. Nine months later, and they were matched, and planning the pregnancy.

Sophie was born September 10, 2018.

The dads describe holding her for the first time as "breathless" and "surreal." "It didn't feel at all real, like we would wake from a dream at any moment," said Mark. "There was an overwhelming sense of pride, love and a desire to protect her at all costs."

Congrats to this new family of three from Essex, United Kingdom.

Congratulations to Kyle and Charles on the birth of their twins!

As ex-pats in Shanghai, China, adoption was not an option for this American French couple. Since Kyle grew up in Oregon, it made sense to the husbands to work with an agency near his family, although they are long-term residents of Shanghai where they both have businesses.

"Our journey to fatherhood via surrogacy felt long but was super smooth, with virtually no bumps - except a gorgeous big belly - along the way," said Kyle. "We approached the fact that we were able to achieve our dream of fatherhood from a place of deep thankfulness."

Henri and Lucile were born October 10, 2018.

"When we first held our kids, it felt like a wave of blissful joy immediately washing over us - and we're still riding that wave of snuggles, kisses, midnight diaper changes, feedings, and all the firsts new parents enjoy," said Charles. "We also felt an immense gratitude to our unbelievable surrogate who did it all naturally, full-term and with only a few expletives during an intense delivery!"

Congrats to the happy family!

Congratulations to Stephen and Tyler on the birth of their son Landon!

This Tampa couple became dads with the help of one of their closest friends from grade school who carried their son. Tyler and Stephen welcomed son Landon on October 21, 2018.

"We felt like it was the happiest day of our lives," shared Stephen. "We were overcome with happiness."

"It's so crazy how much you can love something so much, instantly; we felt our lives changed forever," added Tyler. "We love him so much and feel so blessed to have him."

Congrats to this new family of three!

Congrats to new dads Devon and Jordan on the birth of their daughter, Ruby!

Jordan and Devon met 10 years ago in Los Angeles. "I fell hard, and fast," shared Devon via an Instagram post. "The last 9+ years with him have been an amazing adventure filled with travel to new parts of the world, a viral wedding video, hand crafted Halloween costumes, and moving from the big city to the quiet suburbs...all with Jordan by my side. It's time for yet another adventure for Jordan and I, fatherhood! So, without further or do, meet Ruby MacIver Finley, our daughter."

After over a year of actively searching for a birth mom. They got a last minute call, hopped on a cross-country plane to welcome their daughter. The new dads are over the moon!

Congrats to dads-to-be Jensy and Junior on their exciting news!

Jensy and Junior are so excited to share their news - they're going to be dads! Originally from the Dominican Republic, these two now live in New York City, are due to become dads via surrogacy in January 2019.

"We are looking forward to teaching our baby the best things about life," shared Jensy. "To raise him or her to be a great person with good values, and we can't wait to take our baby to school... I think I will cry that day with emotion!"

We're so excited to follow their journey!

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Gay Dad Life

How Canada's 'Gay Dollar' Helped This Gay Man Reflect on His Biggest Regret—Not Having Kids

Canada unveiled a 'gay dollar' coin earlier this year, helping Gregory Walters reflect on the progress the LGBTQ community has made—and his decision to forgo having children children

Earlier this year, Canada unveiled a rainbow-stripped coin dollar to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the country's decision to decriminalize homosexuality. With the coins now firmly in circulation, Gregory Walters, who lives in Vancouver, wrote a moving essay for the Globe and Mail, expressing joy for how far Canada has come on the issue of gay rights, but how the coin is also a symbolic representation of the "greatest regret" of his life—his decision not to adopt children.

Gregory writes that he had hoped to adopt a child ever since his early career working with persons with developmental disabilities. "Several children I worked with were wards of the State of Texas," he wrote. "Their parents having relinquished all rights either owing to egregious acts of abuse or a lack of desire to raise someone with so many needs. There were days when I felt, 'If I could just take you home and raise you.' I knew there was a need for adopting persons with special needs but my own internalized homophobia got in the way yet again. Despite what is probably my own gift in working with children, I never felt worthy enough to be a parent. I always felt that if I were a gay dad it would create more of a liability for the child."

Gregory decision to forgo having children, he says, is his "greatest regret." While he takes responsibility for some of this decision, he also adds: "society's view of homosexuals and its opinions regarding gay adoptions also played a major part."

To critics of Canada's coin, some of who have said its a cheap political pander to the LGBTQ community, Gregory concludes with this thought:

"I don't care if the indulged majority who never had to question marriage or raising children or being secure in a job may feel the coin is frivolous. The coin isn't for them in the first place. It's an acknowledgment for those of us who repressed our true selves and felt oppressed. It is for gays who never lived to see rights and protections enshrined in law. It is for younger LGBTQ people to learn more about how far we've come and to gain a deeper sense of gay pride. For these reasons, the coin has value so much greater than any monetary designation. The coin represents both empowerment and normalization."

Read Gregory's full essay here.

Gay Dad Life

8 Pics of Ricky Martin Being an Adorable Dad Because Why Not?

Here's some pics of Ricky Martin being an adorable dad because we've ALL had a long week and deserve this don't we??

Earlier this year, in January 2019, superstar Ricky Martin and his husband Jwan Yosef shared a post via Instagram announcing that they'd welcomed a baby girl named Lucia into their family. With twin 9-year-old sons in the house as well, Ricky and Jwan now have a very full casa. Fortunately, the dads are giving us a little glimpse into their chaotic but fun-filled home lives via Instagram. We rounded up 8 of our fav recent parenting pics by the popstar because we've all had long weeks and we deserve this don't we??

Enjoy!

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Gay Dad Life

17 T.V. Shows Featuring Gay Dad Characters

Gay dads are all the rage on the small screen these days... here are 17 shows that prominently feature gay dad characters!

The 2019-2020 TV season will soon be upon us! In recent years, gay dad characters have been all the rage... will we see more representation this fall? We sure hope so! But in the meantime, we'll be content reviewing this list of 17 shows that have (somewhat) prominently featured gay dad characters!

Also we KNOW we're missing some, so drop us a line in the comments to tell us what we should add!

1. Grace & Frankie

In this Netflix original series, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston play gay dads who come out to their wives and children well past their primes. Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda play the ex-wives, rounding out the star-studded cast. Now in its fourth season, the show has been well received and sheds an interesting light on the complications involved with fathers who come out later in life.

Change the World

Judge's Decision in NY 'Compassionate Surrogacy' Case Involving Gay Dad Overturned

Though compensated surrogacy remains illegal in New York State, "compassionate surrogacy" arrangements are remain legal

Last week, an unanimous four-judge panel, part of the New York Appellate Division in Brooklyn, New York, revived a gay dad's petition to adopt his son born via surrogacy. The dad, identified as "Joseph P." in court documents, had earlier been denied his petition to adopt by a Queens County Family Court Judge, John M. Hunt. The Queens judge denied the petition because compensated surrogacy contracts are illegal in New York. However, the child born to Joseph was born via "compassionate surrogacy," meaning his gestational surrogate was not compensated.

The Appellate court's decision, written by Justice Alan D. Scheinkmanm called Hunt's decision "clearly erroneous," and held that a new Family Court judge should re-hear the case.

Judge Hunt's decision is all the more confusing since Joseph had actually already become a father via surrogacy in New York—three times over. In each instance, he used donor eggs and a friend serving, voluntarily, as the gestational surrogate. He had his first child in 2012, and then twins the following year. In all three instances, a Family Court judge granted Joseph's adoption petition, given that each child was conceived via "compassionate surrogacy," meaning no money changes hands in the course of a surrogacy journey between carrier an intended parent. This type of surrogacy arrangement is not illegal under to New York law. The social worker in Joseph's latest attempt to adopt, Gay City News noted, also gave him a favorable review, calling him "a mature, stable, and caring person who intentionally created a family of himself, the twins, and John."

Gay City News notes: "Justice Scheinkman provided a careful description of the laws governing surrogacy in New York. The Legislature provided that surrogacy contracts are unenforceable and treated as void. However, the only surrogacy contracts actually outlawed are those where the surrogate is compensated. It was clear to the Appellate Division that the Legislature did not mean to outlaw voluntary surrogacy arrangements, merely to make them unenforceable in the courts. Those who enter into a compensated surrogacy agreement face a small monetary fine and people who act as brokers to arrange such agreements are liable for a larger penalty. There is no penalty for voluntary, uncompensated surrogacy arrangements."

Read the full article here.

Entertainment

How Fatherhood Has Impacted Tom Daley's Diving Career for the Better

British diver Tom Daley, and new-ish gay dad, is looking to qualify for the 2020 Olympics in South Korea.

British diver Tom Daley is currently in the running to qualify for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics in South Korea, his fourth if he competes, at the young age of just 26.

But he also has another concern that most young gay men his age couldn't fathom—fatherhood. He and his husband, filmmaker Dustin Lance Black, recently welcomed Robbie Ray via surrogacy in June 2018.

In an interview with the Independent, Daley explained how fatherhood has changed his routine and training, which he says is often for the better.

"It has changed my life completely in all of the best ways possible," Daley said. "It has changed my perspective, the way I think about things. [My son] is the most important thing in my life, everything I do is for him, everything I think about he is at the forefront of everything."

With respect to his diving career, Daley continued, "if you have a bad day at training, or a good day, you are grounded immediately when you get home through the door because you are having cuddles or you are having to change a dirty nappy. It is the first time that I have been able to leave diving at the diving board and not think about what I need to the next day in the pool."

Whatever the challenges he faces while training, he said, "I can leave it there because you don't have time to think about diving when you are looking after a kid under one."

The strategy seems to be working in Daley's favor. He recently enjoyed his most successful FINA Diving World Series ever this past Spring in Canada, winning 12 medals across five events. And barring any major catastrophe, he is overwhelmingly expected to qualify for South Korea 2020.

And we can't wait to cheer the young dad on!

Change the World

One Gay Dad's Fight Against Hate in Superior, Nebraska

Brian Splater is refusing to let homophobic and transphobic elected officials in his town go unchecked

Millie B. Photography

Guest post written by Brian Splater

No one ever should feel they will have a very lonely and secluded life as a child. But that is something me and many other gay kids believe as they are growing up.

The truth of the matter is there are people who will try everything in their power to have our rights go back in time instead of forward. It is very disheartening when these people are elected officials, or they are people who use their place of employment to spread their disgust and hate.

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Politics

America's First Gay Dad Governor Heads Into the Lion's Den

Colorado Governor Jared Polis recently became the first elected Democrat to speak at the annual Western Conservative Summit in Denver

Last Friday, American's first gay dad Governor, Jared Polis, became the first elected Democrat to speak at the Western Conservative Summit in Denver, where he urged the Republican crowd to help him build a "Colorado for all."

"While we should never gloss over the things that divide us, there is a lot more that unites us," Polis said. "When we close ourselves off from discussion or debate, and we reject the possibility of hearing and understanding other perspectives, it threatens the fabric of our democracy."

If he was hoping for a Kumbaya moment, he didn't exactly get it. As he was called to the stage, he was greeted with a smattering of applause—while others booed and shouted for a "recall" of the Governor.

"It was almost unbearable for me to sit there to listen to his talk," Abby Johnson, one of the event's attendees, told the Denver Post. "And I'm going to tell you why. He kept talking about equality for all persons, yet we live in a society where 60 million innocent human beings have been slaughtered in the name of choice. Where is their justice? Where is their equal rights?"

Polis was also criticized from his left flank for attending the same event that refuses to let the Log Cabin Republicans, a group of gay GOP members, participate—and that featured Donald Trump Jr. as a speaker the same day. "To me it feels like vanity," Katie Farnan, a staffer with progressive group Indivisible, told the Denver Post. "He can go and be a hip Democratic governor who isn't afraid to go into GOP sanctuary. Or maybe it's recall insurance. But unless he was there to hold them accountable for their support for fascist and racist policies, what's the point?"

In response to the criticism from both sides of the political aisle, Polis told the Colorado Sun: "I think it's very important that Coloradans of different ideologies, different races, different geographies, different orientations and gender identities all really celebrate that we're all part of what makes Colorado great."

The event is hosted each year by Colorado Christian University to bring together conservatives from around the state, and the larger West.

What do you think, dads? Was Polis's decision to speak at the event a savvy political move or mere pandering?

Fatherhood, the gay way

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