Gay Dad Life

From Stay-at-Home Dad to Work-at-Home Dad

In our latest Daddy Square podcast, Craig Sauer explains how being a stay-at-home gay dad is tougher in some ways than a "traditional" job

Don't mislead yourself: Stay-at-Home parenting is a full-time job - or more. It may be even tougher than the 'traditional' job because there're no days off, no sick days, no Medical, Dental and Vision coverage and no bonuses at the end of the year. Nevertheless, many dads choose to stay at home to take care of the kid(s). Some of them do it out of need to give their kids the 100% care they've always wished for, others do it as a part of a complete change in their life's direction.

We spoke with Craig Sauer, who chose to stay at home and take care of his three kids until they were old enough that he could follow his passion of photography and turn it into a business involving 3D Real Estate photography. Craig talked about being jobless before the kids came along and what part that played in his committing to be a stay-at-home dad, his full-time daddy job, and the transition to being a WAHD: Work At Home Dad.

Craig says that having a stay-at-home dad can result in some guilt in the partner. Therefore, he advices to couples who consider having one of them stay at home to have the roles of each one of them clearly defined before the baby comes.

"Not that one person has to do everything," Craig explains, "but it will be easier if one person will be Chief Management Officer of the household.

"One of the choices that we made was that I was up all night with the kids, and I was like 'don't be guilty, go sleep. I need you to be able to make your decisions for your job to bring us money, and when I'm stumbling through the day so you'll be able to say hey I think you're boiling the baby instead of the dinner' or something. So going into this with those roles agreed upon and defined was really helpful to us."


Episode Credits:

Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex Maghen
Guest: Craig Sauer, Craig Sauer 3D
Music: Hercules & Love Affair, "Leonora" buy here
Articles referred to in this episode:
Most Americans say children are better off with a parent at home (Pew Research Center)
The Amazing Journey These Gay Dads Took To Build Their Family (Huff Post)
Stay-at-home moms turning into WAHMs (CNN)
Daddy Square: The Podcast, Episode 2
'The everyday sexism I face as a stay-at-home dad' (BBC)


Podcast

Entertaining Babies

When you're not changing diapers, feeding, bathing (and occasionally crying into your hands in the other room), how will you entertain and engage your babies during the period of their lives where they absorb the most?

Some of us used to sneak out to mom's closet and try on her shoes and clothes, pretending to be Cyndi Lauper -- this is what 'Entertaining Babies' is all about! How to use our inner (some would say: hidden) creativity during our time with our babies and toddlers. From the moment they open their eyes, bring out the Cyndi Lauper in you in order to stimulate them, create a vibe of music and laughter in the family without leaving your home! This episode is great for the winter season.

Unless you are Lord Whatsisface of Downton Abbey, you're gonna have a pretty significant amount of time with your kid(s) from day one. When you're not changing diapers, feeding, bathing (and occasionally crying into your hands in the other room), how will you entertain and engage them during the period of their lives where they absorb the most? We interview Mark Reis, an entertainer himself - and a gay dad - about what he does. And, of course, we have no shortage of thoughts and opinions (oh, the opinions) of our own about what works. Spoiler Alert: The Itsy Bitsy Spider does not come off well in this episode.

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Surrogacy for Gay Men

Surrogacy 101 for Gay Men: Learn the Basics With Dr. Ringler

Next up on the Daddy Squared podcast! Yan and Alex talk with a reproductive endocrinologist to get an overview of IVF and surrogacy options for gay men

We turned to Dr. Guy Ringler, Reproductive Endocrinologist at California Fertility Partners to get an updated overview of the IVF and surrogacy options for gay men from a medical point of view. Are you too old to have kids? How to find the right egg donor? Is IVF becoming less expensive? These and other questions are answered in this episode of Daddy Square.

"The cost [of IVF and surrogacy] is actually going up," Dr. Ringler states during the Daddy2 interview. "It's going up because everything gets more expensive, our Petri dishes are more expensive, the technology gets more expensive actually. And there's such a demand for surrogates that the amount that the agencies have to pay the surrogates goes up. So it's gradually increasing. It's not inexpensive, it's something you have to plan for."

"I tell my patients it's somewhere between the cost of a really nice car and a small house in the Midwest."


Dr. Ringler's 5 Steps to Start Your Family

1. Freeze sperm in Los Angeles
Provide a semen sample for freezing and blood for infectious disease and genetic carrier screening.

2. Select Your Egg Donor
Find your ideal donor from a diverse group of candidates.

3. Create Embryos For Freezing
Embryos are cultured to the blastocyst stage and frozen. They can genetically screened prior to freezing if desired.

4. Select Your Surrogate
Choose and meet (in person or via Skype) the surrogate mother that you would like to carry your child.

5. Embryo Transfer
Transfer your embryo(s) into the surrogate. Ten days later is the pregnancy test and the beginning of your surrogacy journey.

Terms you should be familiar with:

IVF - Stands for In Vitro Fertilization. An assisted reproductive technique that is used to treat infertility due to multiple etiologies including tubal disease, male factor, endometriosis and unexpected causes.

PGS Test - Preimplantation Genetic Screening. Testing the embryos to determine if they are genetically normal.

Egg Freezing - a revolutionary technique that provides fertility options to delay pregnancy.

Egg Donation - One of the most important factors effecting the pregnancy rate with IVF is the egg quality which is directly related to the age of the egg provider. IVF using eggs from a young and healthy egg donor provides embryos of optimal quality and pregnancy potential.

About Dr. Guy Ringler

Dr. Ringler graduated with honors from the University of Michigan before attending the Wayne State University School of Medicine. He trained in Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Chicago and completed a fellowship in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at the University of Pennsylvania. In clinical practice in Los Angeles for over 25 years, he has developed an international reputation for excellence in all aspects of reproductive care, especially third-party reproduction utilizing egg donation and surrogacy. He was one of the world's first physicians to use assisted reproductive technologies to help gay men having children.

Dr. Ringler was awarded a Family Building award from the American Fertility Association for his work, and has been named a Super Doctor by Los Angeles Magazine. He has lectured around the world to help educate members of the LGBT community about family-building treatment options. He continues to work and live in Los Angeles with his husband, architect Mark Rios.

Episode Credits:

Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex Maghen
Guest: Dr. Guy Ringler, Reproductive Endocrinologist at California Fertility Partners
Music: Hercules & Love Affair, "Leonora" buy here
Articles referred to in this episode:
Where to Start If You're A Gay Couple Wanting to Have Kids (Yan Dekel, Daddy Square blog)
Get Ready for Embryos From Two Men or Two Women (Dr. Guy Ringler, Time)
Men Having Babies:
The 14th Annual NY Men having Babies Surrogacy Seminar & Gay Parenting Expo is coming up November 10-11, 2018
Unsung Heroes: Surrogate Mothers to Same-Sex Couples (Dr. Guy Ringler, The Advocate)
A Strip Mall Gay Bar in Detroit Helped Me Come Out (Dr. Guy Ringler, The Advocate)








Podcast

Raising Healthy Puppies; Raising Healthy Babies

Listen to our first podcast in partnership with Yanir Dekel of DaddySquare.com, talking about how to run a happy household for both our two-legged and four-legged children.

Dog and cat lovers! This one is for you: babies and puppies are a winning combination for cuteness, but it's a hell of a combination to keep them all happy and healthy. This week we talked to Mark Hiebert, Medical Director at VCA TLC Animal Hospital in West Hollywood, about our pet-babies, about introducing a new baby into a house with pets, and – of course – about health and safety of our babies and puppies.

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