Become a Gay Dad
Gay men hoping to become dads have more options today than ever before to make that dream a reality. Regardless of your chosen path to fatherhood, start here for resources, tips, and how-to guides to help gay dads-to-be navigate the journey
Every gay dad has an inspiring story to tell. Read on for incredible examples of gay men and their families living out and proud all across the globe.
LGBTQ families are have made incredible progress in recent years, but there is still much more work to be done. Read on for news and inspiring stories about LGBTQ families fighting for equality.
Gay men wanting to adopt have more options than ever, but challenges persist. See below for tips on navigating the adoption process.
Surrogacy provides gay men with a biological connection to their child, but the process is complex. These tips help navigate a surrogacy journey.
Read through the resources below for tips on how gay dads can best navigate the foster care system.
Co-parenting can be a unique and adaptable path for gay men hoping to become dads, but you need to be prepared.
Resources to help recently out men with children navigate their newfound identities as gay dads.
Trans men face unique opportunities and challenges on their path to fatherhood, explored in the resources below.
Our contributors are exploring every aspect of fatherhood from a gay lens--the poignant, the humorous, and everything in between.
There is no one way gay, bi and trans dads form their families and we've made it our mission to chronicle them all. Check out our collection of family profiles for stories that will inspire.
A collection of heartwarming photo essays of gay dads and their families.
Become a Gay Dad

Why One Gay Dad is Unapologetically Embracing Christmas Early This Year

By decorating for Christmas early this year, Erik says they aren't replacing Thanksgiving--just enhancing it


With everything going on in our country, I think saying that it has been a crazy year is an understatement. It has been emotionally difficult and draining at times for many. This year brought so many new changes that it is hard to wrap our minds around some of them. The daunting feeling of uncertainty looms over our heads as we march deeper into this unfamiliar territory led by someone that is so disconnected and embarrassing.

We can take solace in knowing that a new change is on the horizon and the midterm election a couple of weeks ago proved it. We are sick of being led by a tyrant. We want a leader to be proud of. We want a role model for our children, and I have all the faith in the world that we will find that perfect statesman. When we do, all of our hearts will know it. In the meantime, let us focus our positive energy on our beautiful and diverse families all across this amazing country.

Change is hard. Change is brutal. But a lot of times, change is beautiful. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes longer than we had hoped. With that said, one thing will not change- the holidays. For most families, this time of year brings cheer, joy, hope, and optimism for the new year to come.

I have always had one golden rule when it comes to decorating our home for the holidays: the current holiday must pass before decorating for another. Last year, our 3 year old developed an appreciation for all that Christmas brings. Now, her year and a half old little sister has now started to love it too. The way they both light up and get excited when they see Christmas decorations made me re-evaluate for the first time in my life, what if I changed things up this year? Decorating earlier will also help attenuate the political frustration that this year brought. That coupled with the amazement that our little girls have for Christmas makes a strong case for decorating for Christmas early. Sure, there are diehard Thanksgiving fans that grumble at the thought of Christmas coming early and I am sure they will give this a healthy eye roll and, if so, that's ok.

We are not replacing Thanksgiving. I like to think that we are just enhancing it. We will most definitely continue to teach our children the meaning of Thanksgiving and to enjoy the symbolic feast that comes along with it. The white pumpkins I usually put out for Thanksgiving really made a statement when I mixed them with the Christmas attire. I was quite surprised and impressed by the final outcome.

These days, one of my primary goals in life is to create an environment for my family that is happy, healthy, and nurturing. I want them to get excited about Christmas, both the true meaning and the atmosphere that it brings. When my children walk into the house, I want them to be transported into a bright, cheerful place that they will always remember. Perhaps it will even inspire the way they celebrate the holidays with their families (and our future grandchildren) in the future. The world can be a harsh, cold and scary place, especially more lately it seems. I would be lying if I said I didn't do this for myself too. I am. For the first time in my life, I am worried for the future of our country. I am terrified of the direction we as Americans have taken and it is setting a precedent on what the future will be like for my family. For example, mass shootings that seem to happen monthly now met with the lack of response followed by a series of excuses by our leaders along with the bigotry and racism masked by patriotism that plague our society. I know I am speaking of sore subjects, but all of these reasons give me the motivation for welcoming the Christmas season earlier.


I do have faith that in time, competent leaders will emerge and will steer us in a direction that will help fade our fear into the bold and lionhearted society that we are. Voices were heard a couple of weeks ago. This was the most diverse group of elected officials on record! There is a fire that has been ignited within us and time will allow it to spread. That fire is coming in the form of what we all have hoped for- Change.

We as LGBTQ families need to comfort one another. Lets extend our hands to each other. Let this holiday season not be about the "correct" time in which we decorate for Christmas, moreover lets make it about coming together as a community that lifts each other up. Lets protect each other. Lets embrace each other for all the we are, all that we bring and all that we stand for. Let us not be silenced- and pushed into a corner but let us lead by example- while showing our children who their parents are by being respectful, tolerant and warmhearted as we welcome this Christmas season.

May you and your family have the most beautiful and happiest of holidays, regardless of when you choose to welcome Christmas. I pray that 2019 will bring each of you happiness, patience, resilience and with time, we will get there, together!

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Gay Belgian Dads Give Detailed Account of Their Two Surrogacy Journeys in the U.S.

Gay dads Wim and Dirk pen a detailed essay to give a glimpse into what the surrogacy process is like in the United States as a foreigner.

Written by dads Wim and Dirk.

At first we didn't know about the surrogacy possibilities in the United States, so we prepared ourselves for adoption. We followed the mandatory adoption courses, as most gay couples in Belgium do when they want to have children. We started with the international adoption course but when most countries closed international adoption for gays we decided to give up international adoption and go for national adoption. While we were in the process of being evaluated (psychologically, financially, ...) we read an article in a newspaper about a gay couple that was expecting a child through surrogacy. We managed to contact them and they've told us their surrogacy journey.

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5 Questions Gay Men Should Ask Themselves Before Starting Surrogacy

Here are five questions gay men should make sure they have the answers to before starting a surrogacy journey

Photo credit: Melissa Bissell Photography

Babies are the best! And growing your family through surrogacy is an amazing experience for everyone involved. There is a tremendous amount of planning, a detailed process and a rollercoaster of emotions that go along with it.

Before you begin your surrogacy journey, here are 5 questions you should ask yourself – and have the answers to! – to help ensure the smoothest journey possible.

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Sponsored

Curious About Surrogacy? Gay Dads to Dish at Upcoming Conference

As part of a two-day event in Chicago hosted by Men Having Babies, a panel of gay men who successfully completed surrogacy journeys will be on hand along with their surrogates to talk about their experiences. Get your tix through the link below!

"I had dreamed of becoming a dad my whole life," said Brandon. "The urge was palpable."

In 2013, Brandon Goss began his surrogacy journey and never looked back. Through Men Having Babies, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping gay men navigate the complicated surrogacy process, he found Simple Surrogacy, the clinic that would help make his dreams of fatherhood come true.

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Gay Adoption

An Overview of the U.K. Adoption Process From a Gay Dad Perspective

Here's how the adoption process works in the UK, as experienced by gay dad Jamie of the "Daddy & Dad" website

I'm Jamie, one half of Daddy and Dad with my fiancé Tom. In 2014 we adopted siblings Lyall and Richard – cheeky little boys aged 8 and 9. I blog about our experiences as adoptive gay dads via our website Daddy & Dad and our Instagram feed.

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Coming Out

How Three Gay Dads Found Peace With Their Ex-Wives After Coming Out

Making amends with an ex-wive is not always an easy or short road for many gay dads. Here's how three gay men and their ex-wives managed to find themselves at peace after a coming out process.

Author Jason Howe takes a looks at how three gay men managed to navigate the process of coming out to their wives and children to ultimately find peace and acceptance.

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Co-parenting

Top Three Benefits of 'Intentional Co-Parenting' for Gay Men & Couples

Entering into intentional co-parenting arrangements with another adult or couple has many benefits, says Bill Delaney. Here are his top three.

I often joke that the best thing about co-parenting is that we can have both kids and a life. It's certainly easier to maintain a non-child-centric social life with scheduled child-free days, but that is the least of the benefits of sharing parenting responsibilities.

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Foster/Foster-Adopt

5 Tips for Making a New Foster Child Feel Welcome in Your Home

Here are some tips for welcoming a new foster or adoptive child into your home from foster-adopt expert Trey Rabun

Welcoming a child into your home though foster care or adoption can be exciting, but it's also a challenging, time. However, there are several things you can do to help make the transition smoother for the new child and your family. Check out these tips from Trey Rabun, Amara's Family Outreach Specialist and a Gays With Kids' Expert on foster-adopt.

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