Gay Dad Photo Essays

Gay Dads Keeping Their Cool for 'Back to School' Pics

Summer is almost over, which in the world of parenthood means one thing — our little nuggets are headed back to school! Here's a roundup of gay dads gallantly keeping it together (for the camera anyway) as their kids head off for the first day of school.

Summer is almost over, which means our kids are heading back-to-school. And, like all parents, many gay dads managed to wipe away their tears for long enough to memorialize the moment with the obligatory "first day of school" Instagram pic. And if we're smart, we even remember — like these guys did — to snap a couple of family pics before the waterworks kick in...

We rounded up some of our favorites in the photo essay below. Enjoy! And don't forget to send your own first day of school pics to us at dads@gayswithkids.com!


“So today is the first day of the homestretch for schooling. Both are in high school now and I only get to take 3 more pictures like these and the book is closed. Swipe to see how much they've grown since 2013.”

“Her face says it all! I’m so glad she had a wonderful first day!”

"Obligatory: 1st day of school pic 📚 🎒"

"3rd Grade."

 “Proud moment ❤️ First day of Kindergarten 👧🏻🍎📓”

“Lexi’s 1st day of daycare. This morning was hard, but we know she’ll be well taken care of and will make lots of little friends. ❤️”

 “Keeping it real for our first day at @saesnola (She’s doing fine now)”

“There they go. 4 classrooms at East!”

"First day of first grade. How did we get here?! (Also, I was an emotional mess at drop off. I'm *that* parent.)"

“She gets smarter, we get balder. 😩 Second grade, here we come. I hope her teacher is ready! 😃”

“First day of second grade - at the same elementary school that both of her older siblings attended, and with friends she knows from preschool in her class”

"We have a kindergartner! She was so happy this morning! 🥰❤️✏️📕🖍🥰​"

"First Day of kindergarten. Dads are holding it together pretty well."

“First day of first grade and my 11th year teaching. #1stgrade #teacher #teaching #runtotheroar

"The first day of a kindergarten was a success! No watery eyes, except maybe from the daddies LOL! Super proud of Ethan and Lucas!"

"This little lady is so excited to go back to school! ❤️❤️❤️​"

"And just like that... summer is over and they're a year further along. Sigh."

"First day of kindergarten!! How did this happen?! 👶🏽💗"

"First day of Kindergarten!"

“First day of preschool selfie.”

"Julian Parker is off to 'big boy school!' He's been counting down the days for weeks now and he's never been more excited to go to sleep early than he was last night." 

"Just sent my heart out into the world. You're going to soar, little Bird."

And, some behind the scenes pics to show y'all what goes into a "first day of school" photo!

@papa_to_charlotte

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

An All-Boys School: One Gay Dad's  Short-Lived Experience in the Traditional Environment

"The most dangerous phrase in the language is 'we have always done it this way.'" —Rear Admiral Grace Hopper

The process of entrance to Manhattan's elite private schools can be similar or even more rigorous than college admissions. And you can take that and multiply it tenfold when you're dealing with an all-boys environment. I know this from experience, as my partner Andy and I have spent the last year and a half dealing with one such establishment, that has been in existence for "136 years," and touts the cliché slogan of "educating boys to become scholars and gentlemen."

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A single gay dad claims an LA-based school did not adequately protect his two daughters who were reportedly bullied on account of his sexual orientation.

According to MyNewsLA, a single gay dad settled his suit against an LA-based school, Pressman Academy of Temple Beth Am. The man, who is unidentified, alleged that his two daughters were discriminated against in the school on account of his sexual orientation.

Identified only as "John Doe" in the complaint, the single gay dad reportedly grew up in Israel and chose Pressman Academy for his daughters "because it is supposed to be the best school that would instill those same values in his children." The school apparently took issue, however, with John Doe's sexuality.

According to the suit, teachers and other staff members at the school repeatedly asked the sisters to bring a "woman figure" to the school's Mother's Day celebration, for instance. School staff also did not intervene to prevent bullying of the daughters, one of whom was reportedly called an "orphan" because she lacked a mother, and teased to the point of telling a school therapist that she was contemplating suicide.

The terms of the settlement were not made public but the girls, thankfully, now attend another school.

Change the World

Kids Raised by LGBTQ Parents Do Better in School, Says New Study

Even when controlling for income and wealth, children raised by LGBTQ parents were found to have slightly higher test scores

According to new research at the Belgian university KU Leuven, children raised by same-sex couples may actually do better in school, by some measures, than those raised by heterosexual parents. In the research, which was reported on by the Washington Post, the study's authors used government tracking data in the Netherlands to find that children raised by same-sex couples achieved better test results, and were 7 percent more likely to graduate from high school, than children raised by different-sex couples.

As reported in the article: "The results indicate that children from same-sex couples outperform children from different-sex couples on standardized test scores at the end of primary education by 0.18 standard deviations," the researchers wrote in their paper. "Our results suggest that children from same-sex couples are 6.7 percent more likely to graduate than children from different-sex couples."

This study is unique in that prior studies of the educational attainments of children raised by LGBTQ parents often had small sample sizes of only a few dozen kids. This study, however, included the academic achievements of 1,200 kids raised by same-sex couples, and more than a million children raised by opposite-sex couples, born between 1995 and 2005.

Part of the benefit may be related to age and wealth of the parents included. "The researchers found that same-sex parents are often wealthier, older and more educated than the typical different-sex couple. Same-sex couples often have to use expensive fertility treatments to have a child, meaning they are very motivated to become parents and tend to have a high level of wealth. This is likely to be a key reason their children perform well in school, the economists found."

When the economists controlled for income and wealth, however, there were a much smaller gap between the test scores of children of same-sex parents and children different-sex parents. However, the study notes that children of LGBTQ couples still had higher scores.

The article concludes by noting that this research supports the findings of a 2014 study from Australia that found "children of same-sex couples are generally happier and healthier than their peers, possibly because gay and lesbian couples share parenting and home work more equally."

Read the entire article here.

'Life Is Amazing': Congrats to Gay Dads Whose Families Recently Grew!

Help us congratulate gay dads on their recent births and adoptions last month!

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

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My husband, Phil, and I talked about having children since out first date over 11 years ago. Like many other gay dads, we waited to start the journey to become parents until we felt secure with our careers, finances, and home life. This meant we didn't start the partnering journey until 2016 when we were eight years into our relationship.

When we first met, I was completing my graduate studies in social work and subsequently started a career working in foster care and adoption. This made our decision to pursue foster care-adoption as our path to parenthood a fairly easy one. In fact, I can't recall us discussing other avenues to parenthood, but I'm sure we briefly discussed them before solidifying our decision to become foster parents.

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Change the World

In the Philly Area? Attend 'Family Pride' On October 5th!

Philadelphia Family Pride is hosting their 10th Annual "Family Matters" Conference on October 5th for LGBTQ parents, prospective parents, and their kids!

Guest post by Stephanie Haynes, the executive director of Philadelphia Family Pride

On Saturday, October 5, 2019, Philadelphia Family Pride will hold their 10th Annual Family Matters Conference from 9am to 3:30pm for LGBTQ parents, prospective parents and their kids of all ages at the University of the Sciences in West Philadelphia. The theme this year is "Telling Our Stories." Registration is now open!

In an interactive keynote, Anndee Hochman, author of the Philadelphia Inquirer's weekly "Parent Trip" column, will share highlights from her work as a journalist and memoirist. She'll invite conversation about the stories that shape us—what tales do we share? who does the telling? who is left out?—and how those stories, added up, are changing the world. Read her bio.

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Gay Adoption

5 Things to Keep in Mind When Preparing for Your Home Study

Molly Rampe Thomas of Choice Network lists the 5 things gay men should keep in mind when preparing for your home study

The homestudy is the first step in the adoption process. In every state the homestudy is done a little differently, but all of them have the some combo of paperwork, trainings, and interviews. The homestudy can take anywhere from 2 months to 6 months to complete. Without it, you cannot adopt.

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