Announcements

'Life Is Amazing': Congrats to Gay Dads Whose Families Recently Grew!

Help us congratulate gay dads on their recent births and adoptions last month!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in the last month or so a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!


Congratulations to dads David and Anthony on finalizing the adoption of their son, Gage!

David and Anthony Hatch started their path to fatherhood just over 2 years ago when they decided to become foster parents in the state of Massachusetts in the hopes of adopting. "With the help of a great friend and co-worker, we were introduced to Gage, and from the moment we met him we knew he was ours!"

On August 9, after 1214 days in foster care, the dads finalized the adoption of their son Gage.

"There was a big sense of relief and joy!" shared Anthony. "Anyone that has done the foster to adopt route can understand that!"

Friends and family gathered at the courthouse to celebrate the two dads and their son, and then they all went to dinner. "We are planning a big party in the fall, too!"

The forever family of three live in Monson, MA.

Congratulations to dads Randel and Elder on finalizing the adoption of their sons, Zavyon and Damion!

Randal and Elder began their fatherhood journey as foster parents. After Zavyon and Damion came into their care, it was three years till they were able to finalize their adoption.

The two sons were adoption on August 1, 2019. "The day the adoptions were finalized we felt our family was now complete," shared Randal. "We went to lunch with family and friends after appearing before the judge to sign the adoption orders."

The forever family of three live in Fluvanna, Virginia.

Congratulations to dads Andrew and Andrew on welcoming son Benjamin into their family! 

Benjamin Levi Zeus was born June 21, 2019, and quickly joined dads Andrew and Andrew, and big sister Olivia.

"His birth-parents are a wonderful couple; with old souls, in struggling young bodies," shared Andrew. "We spent time with them and they said they always knew this child was destined to be amazing, but needed more opportunity to do so!"

The dads had tried for several years and had one disruption and several opportunities that just didn't match up. "The day we were told about baby Benjamin, it felt right... it felt as though he was always our son."

Big sister Olivia is adjusting well, even though he came with zero notice. "On day two, she did ask if we could go back and exchange him for a funnier baby that didn't cry so much."

Each of Benjamin's names have meaning, and were bestowed upon him by his birth parents, "for whom without our family as we know, would not exist," said Andrew.

We're so happy for this Los Angeles family!

Congratulations to dads Anthony and Justin on welcoming twins, Aria and Preston! 

New Jersey husbands Anthony and Justin always wanted to be dads. "We started our surrogate journey nearly three years ago." They began by looking for an egg donor and a surrogate and that process alone took about a year and a half.

"Our first attempt ended being an ectopic pregnancy," said Justin. "During our second attempt, we lost our baby boy two days before our second trimester - that was extremely difficult. We took a few months off before trying again. Our last attempt, our surrogate said she wanted to try implanting two embryos and we completely agreed. When we first got pregnant, we were told only one took. We were bummed, yet thrilled to be pregnant at all! The next week, we found out that there were two! Even then, the doctors weren't confident that the second baby (girl) would survive because her numbers were much lower and she was not growing as quickly as her brother. Week by week, she proved everyone wrong & today she is such a fighter!"

In August, the twins were born early at 28 and a half weeks in Salt Lake City, Utah, much earlier than anticipated but they're doing well.

The third day after their birth, the nurse gave the dads permission to do their first skin to skin. "It was absolutely amazing feeling their tiny little bodies on ours. Feeling their quick shallow breaths, their fast heartbeats, their small jerks. We held them for about an hour that night. They were silent - so incredibly comfortable. Now we are holding them for up to 2 hours and each session, we fall more and more in love."

The dads are on a schedule with their kids, getting to the hospital around 7:30am, just in time for the 8am cuddles. "We stay for rounds, and the relax with the babies." They usually head out for lunch and a nap around 2 or 3pm, then they're back around 7pm to stay until 10 or 11pm. "We've only been here for 5 days and we have anywhere from 2-3 months left, but so far so good! We miss our families and friends who are all back home but we have an amazing relationship with our surrogate and her family/her in laws and we see them almost every day. Without them, I'm not sure how we would get through this! "

Congratulations to dads Michael and Doug on finalizing the adoption of Grayson!

On August 14, Baltimore dads Doug and Michael finalized the adoption of their son Grayson, and shared in an Instagram post, "Grayson, buckle your seatbelt because you are stuck with loud singing, college football Saturday, Cuban food, and non-stop loving from daddy and papa!"

The husbands have been together 7 years and were anxious in the months leading up to the finalization of our adoption and eager to have it completed. "When our lawyer called to tell us that our adoption was finalized, we were delighted that Grayson was officially ours," said Michael. "As one could imagine, it was a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders."

Congrats to this forever family of three!

Congratulations to dads Keegan and Paul on welcoming their daughter Poppy!

Keegan and Paul (and their dog Olive dog) spent more than two years working with an agency and going through the adoption process. "It was A LOT of paperwork and A LOT of waiting, but it was all worth it in the end."

Poppy joined her dads in June this year. "Holding Poppy for the first time was incredible," shared doting dad Keegan. "We are extremely lucky as we have a great relationship with birth mom and have an open adoption with her — there's never too much LOVE for little P!"

"Fatherhood so far is everything we dreamed and more," continued Keegan. "Waking up every day to her beautiful face and adorable smiles reminds us exactly how amazing life really is."

We're so happy for this family from Minnesota!

Congratulations to dads Steve and Richard on finalizing the adoption of daughter, Kennedy!

"We were fortunate to have an army of people help us through our journey to Kennedy," shared Kennedy's dads, Richard and Steve. "From our adoption consultant, The Adoption Consultancy and the incredible agency they paired us with, Building Arizona Families, we were blessed to be with our daughter just minutes after her birth - and she has been with us since."

The family had a little bit of a bumpy adoption ride - including a loss of a previous match - so the day they finalized Kennedy's adoption was very special to them. "While we've always felt like a family, it was so amazing hear the court say they agree as well."

Kennedy stole the show on adoption day, August 26th, pounding her hands on the table cheerfully and being the center of attention. She made sure everyone knew who was the star of the day. "She was being so silly, it really lightened the mood in the room. When the judge stated that he was proud to recognize her as a part of our family, we definitely got choked up and maybe a cried a bit. It was official - this dream we had worked so hard for had became more real, became final, Kennedy was ours. That impact was not lost on us and we're so thankful for her every single day."

Congrats to this forever family in Urbandale, Iowa!

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Gay Dad Life

"Every Day We Fall More in Love," Congrats to These Gay Dads On Their Recent Births and Adoptions!

Help us congratualte to these gay dads on their recent births and adoptions!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in September a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

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You might remember Greg and Paul Yorgey-Girdey, along with their three adorable kids, from this Gays With Kids video. This charming family gave us a glimpse into their lives, and now they want to share even more about their family via their new personal blog, Dad, Daddy, & Kids. Greg (Dad) wrote a guest post for Gays With Kids explaining why they saw a void in the blogosphere and are trying to fill it.

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Wishing these new dads and those who finalized adoptions a lifetime of happiness! Congratulations from all of us here at Gays With Kids.

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Politics

Gestational Surrogacy Legalized in New York State

The Child-Parent Security Act, which legalizes commercial surrogacy in New York State, was included in the 2020 New York State Budget signed by Governor Cuomo

Yesterday, a years-long battle about the state of compensated gestational surrogacy came to an end in New York when the Governor signed into a law the Child-Parent Security Act in the 2020 as part of the state budget.

The effort stalled last year after opponents, including several Democrats, successfully argued that the bill didn't go far enough to protect women who serve as surrogates — even though it included a surrogate "bill of rights," the first of its kind in the country, aimed at ensuring protections.

"Millions of New Yorkers need assistance building their families — people struggling with infertility, cancer survivors impacted by treatment, and members of the LGBTQ+ community," the Family Equality Council said in a statement about the victory. "For many, surrogacy is a critically important option. For others, it is the only option. Passage of the Child-Parent Security Act is a massive step forward in providing paths to parenthood for New Yorkers who use reproductive technology, and creates a 'surrogate's bill of rights' that will set a new standard for protecting surrogates nationwide."

Opponents, led by Senator Liz Krueger, had once again attempted to torpedo legalization efforts this year by introducing a second bill that would legalize surrogacy in New York, but also make it the most restrictive state in the country to do so. "A bill that complicates the legal proceedings for the parents and potentially allows them to lose their genetic child is truly unfortunate," said Sam Hyde, President of Circle Surrogacy, referencing to the bill's 8-day waiting period. He also took issue with the bills underlying assumptions about why women decide to serve as a surrogate. The added restrictions imply that "they're entering into these arrangements without full forethought and consideration of the intended parents that they're partnering with," he said.

The bill was sponsored by State Senator Brad Hoylman, an out gay man who became a father via surrogacy, and Assemblymember Amy Paulin, who has been public with her experiences with infertility.

"My husband and I had our two daughters through surrogacy," Holyman told Gay City News. "But we had to travel 3,000 miles away to California in order to do it. As a gay dad, I'm thrilled parents like us and people struggling with infertility will finally have the chance to create their own families through surrogacy here in New York."

"This law will [give intended parents] the opportunity to have a family in New York and not travel around the country, incurring exorbitant costs simply because they want to be parents," Paulin said for her part. It will "bring New York law in line with the needs of modern families."


Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Just Like Dad: Ways My Kids and I Are Alike

Joseph Sadusky recounts the ways he and his adopted sons are cut from the same cloth.

Editor's Note: This is the third in a series of excerpts from Joseph Sadusky's new book, Magic Lessons: Celebratory and Cautionary Tales about Life as a (Single, Gay, Transracially Adoptive) Dad. The book contains many stories about my life as a dad, as well as lessons learned, and we're excited to share several excerpts from the the book over the course of the next few months. Read previous installments here!

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Expert Advice

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There's nothing quite like father-daughter relationships, and when it comes to single dads, your little girl likely holds a very special place in your heart. From the moment she's born, it's as if you can see every moment of her life in front of you, from her first steps to walking her down the aisle at her wedding. You'll be the first man she'll know and talk to, and you'll be her biggest example of what a loving man looks like. She'll come to you for advice on how to navigate challenges, be independent, treat others and grow into herself.

Your relationship with your daughter may be shaped by your personal history, whether you've been through a difficult divorce or breakup, you've transitioned out of a straight relationship, or you made the courageous decision to pursue surrogacy on your own. Whatever your situation is, studies have shown that children with involved fathers excel more in school and have fewer behavioral issues in adolescence.

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Change the World

After Suffering a Violent Homophobic Attack, This Gay Dad Turned to Advocacy

After Rene suffered a brutal homophobic attack that left him hospitalized, he and his family have turned to advocacy to heal

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We are Rene (35) and Nejc (29) and we come from Slovenia, Europe. I was an avid athlete, a Judoist, but now I am an LGBT activist and Nejc is a writer, who published a gay autobiography called Prepovedano. He was also a participant in a reality show in Slovenia (Bar) and he is an LGBT activist too. Nejc and I met by a mere coincidence on Facebook, and already after the first phone call we realized that we are made for each other. Nejc and I have been together as couple almost one year. We think we have been joined by some energy, as we have both experienced a lot of bad things with previous relationships and now we wish to create and shape our common path.

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