Personal Essays by Gay Dads

A Gay Dad's Tribute to ALL Kinds of Moms This Mother's Day

To mom's of ALL kinds: birth, surrogate, foster, step, expectant, hopeful, single, adoptive and married: Happy Mother's Day!

Ya know, as life marches forward and the older I get, the more I understand and appreciate the dedication and resilience of my own mother. As long as I can remember, Mother's Day has been special in our home. The unwavering commitment and tireless devotion that lady has shown for her family is selfless and humbling. The hardships she has seen in her life have helped shape her character and transform her into an even more compassionate and benevolent person.


Erik's mother and his daughters

It's a given that each Mother's Day warrants that sweet card or special dinner to show how much we are thankful for her. However, my appreciation for her was made even more evident after our children were born. This magnified the diligence and perseverance of my mother, as well as other traits that it takes to be a good and loving parent. My gratitude grows and my admiration swells with each passing day. My mother was the glue that kept our family together. I have learned so much from her, and I apply this knowledge in my everyday life. It is difficult to articulate all of my feelings. Mama, just know that I love you more every single day.

Douglas and Erik with Erik's mother at Jazz Fest

On such a day as Mother's Day, it's not just my mom that I am grateful for. My appreciation and respect goes out to ALL of the mothers. The BIRTHmothers, the SURROGATE mothers, the FOSTER mothers, the STEP-mothers, the EXPECTANT mothers, the HOPEFUL mothers, the SINGLE mothers, and the MARRIED mothers. You all are the dream makers and hope givers. The life changers and the tribe builders. You are the selfless heroines that bring the sparkle of new life to families everywhere. You are the beacons of hope that illuminates the darkness with light shining brighter than a million candles. On a more personal note, as a gay father I am able to have my family because of you. Our two beautiful and energetic girls have brought new life and happiness into our hearts, home and lives.

To the birthmothers of our daughters as well as all birthmothers, we can only begin to imagine the difficult thought process behind making that incredibly hard decision. Adoption is the most altruistic and selfless choice any woman could make. We are grateful to you every day of our lives, and although you do not see them often please know, we see your faces as we look into our daughters eyes. And as they get older, we can see it even more in their smiles. The independent and strong willed nature of both our girls is an undeniable attribute that was obviously passed down from you.

We want you to know that we strive to be better daddies every single day. We love these girls more with every minute that passes. We are eternally grateful to you for the rest of our lives. Thank you for choosing us. And thank you for allowing us to be the fathers we have always prayed to be.

With all our love on this Mothers Day,
Erik & Douglas Alexander

I would love for you to follow our family's journey!

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Celebrate Mother's Day This Year by Checking Out These Fabulous Lesbian Insta-Mom Accounts

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National's Pitcher Cites Wife's Two Moms as Reason for Declining White House Invite

"I think that's an important part of allyship," Doolittle said of his wife's two moms.

Sean Doolittle, pitcher for the Washington Nationals, declined an invitation to the White House after his team won the World Series this year. In an interview with the Washington Post, he listed his numerous reasons for staying home — and a main consideration, he revealed, was his wife's two moms.

"I want to show support for them. I think that's an important part of allyship, and I don't want to turn my back on them," Doolittle said during the interview.

Trump's treatment of a minority groups, generally, factored into his decision as well. "I have a brother-in-law who has autism, and [Trump] is a guy that mocked a disabled reporter. How would I explain that to him that I hung out with somebody who mocked the way that he talked or the way that he moves his hands? I can't get past that stuff."

Doolitttle clarified that his decision had little to do with policy disagreements with the White House. "There's a lot of things, policies that I disagree with, but at the end of the day, it has more to do with the divisive rhetoric and the enabling of conspiracy theories and widening the divide in this country. My wife and I stand for inclusion and acceptance, and we've done work with refugees, people that come from, you know, the 'shithole countries.'"

He concluded by saying he respected his teammates decision to attend the White house ceremony. "I want people to know that I put thought into this, and at the end of the day, I just can't go."

Read more of the Washington Post interview here.

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New York Will Fight 'Repugnant' Trump Rule on Adoption, Says Cuomo

Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York promises legal action of the Trump administration moves ahead with plans to allow discrimination against LGBTQ adoptive and foster parents

Last week, the Trump administration announced plans to allow adoption and foster care agencies to discriminate against prospective LGBTQ parents — but he may face a legal fight from (former) hometown. In a tweet, Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York said the proposed move "isn't just discriminatory and repugnant to our values,— it's also heartless and dumb as it would deny countless children a loving family and a safe place to call home." If the proposal moves forward, he continued. "we'll take legal action to stop it.

Governor Cuomo's office followed up the tweet with a lengthier statement posted to their website:

Once again the Trump administration is attacking the hard-earned rights and protections of the LGBTQ community, this time proposing a new measure that would give foster care and adoption agencies license to discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

Trump's proposal isn't just discriminatory and repugnant to our values — it's also heartless and dumb as it would deny countless children a loving family and a safe place to call home. If he moves forward with this rule, we'll take legal action to stop it.

No matter what happens in Washington, New York State is and will continue to be a beacon of equality in this country. Our Human Rights Law and adoption regulations expressly prohibit discrimination against the LGBTQ community, including when it comes to adoption. I encourage any LGBTQ New Yorker who feels they are a victim of this discrimination to contact the State Division of Human Rights for assistance.

Our message to the Trump administration is simple: there is no place for hate in New York or in our nation, and we will not allow this noxious proposal to stop LGBTQ New Yorkers from becoming parents or providing care to children in need.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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