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65 Things I've Learned About Fatherhood (So Far)

In May this year, Ryan and his husband Chris became dads via surrogacy. Both "Dad" to their twins, it's fair to say fatherhood has been a learning experience for Ryan and Chris. And Ryan has been documenting those lessons. See which ones you can relate to!


Things I learned about being a dad in the first few weeks:


1. I have more patience than I thought.
2. I am ambidextrous
3. While ambidextrous, I can do most tasks with one hand if need be.
4. My kids are the best thing ever.
5. Baby always wins. Always.
6. Hungry babies are evil babies
7. Babies are hungry 65% of the time
8. Family and friends are awesome
9. There are many shades of shit
10. I am now ok with poop and pee projected onto me. Rather, I have accepted this as part of life.
11. My husband is a rock star.
12. Babies sleeping on my chest =
13. You only need 3 hours of sleep to function, but be mindful when driving or you may incur $2K of vehicle damage in a Starbucks drive-thru due to pure exhaustion and a yellow pole. Thanks, SBux.
14. They grow way too fast and my heart can't take it.
15. They squeeze your hand, give a little look, fall asleep on your shoulder, smile, sneeze, stretch - and my heart can't take that either
16. You don't need half the stuff you thought you had to have.
17. Pampers are awesome.
18. Days blur into one long stretch of baby time.
19. Boob milk is golden.
20. Personal hygenie is a thing of the past.
21. I am the luckiest guy alive

@ryansiroisheller

Things I learned about being a dad by 11 weeks...


22. Baby smiles are a cure all
23. We have a well of untapped strength that only our children can bring out.
24. They won't break, breathe!
25. Other people love other people's babies - especially giving them back after an hour or two
26. I can carry double my body weight in babies and baby stuff through an airport
27. Always say YES to help (even when you know the person didn't really mean it!)
28. You don't need all the gadgets. Seriously, screw the $190 Baby Breeza!
29. When people ask how big they are, my initial instinct is to respond with their diaper size. "Connor is 2 and Olivia is in between N and 1."
30. I can wash 10 bottles and nipples in under 3 minutes
31. Do not touch the sleeping baby. I repeat: STEP AWAY FROM THE SLEEPING BABY.
32. There is such a thing as delirium (and it's not what you think pre baby)
33. There are 50 Shades of Poo
34. Baby poo can have a surprisingly pleasing aroma
35. Sucking their snot through a tube (Nose Frida) is highly addictive
36. When all else fails... burp.
37. Patience. The burp will come!
38. Music is baby drugs
39. Family is awesome
40. Multitasking is not an option but a way of life
41. I can feed two babies, drink coffee AND photograph the experience all at the same time
42. I am happier with kids than without
43. Two dads rock!

@ryansiroisheller

Things I learned about being a dad by 4-and-half months:

44. Girls rule and boys drool. Literally. Like a lot.
45. Mashed avocado can end up in all sorts of weird places.
46. Teething basically means your baby shoving everything and anything into their mouth at once.
47. It is possible for two tiny fists to fit into one tiny mouth.
48. It is also possible to fit one teething toy, a knotted rag, a left hand and single pacifier all at once. #GoConnor
49. Bibs. (The cool bandana looking ones)
50. Morning smiles are way better than morning coffee.
51. They love my singing even if the neighbors don't.
52. I've finally found my most attentive, engaged and very best audience. #dadjokes#flawlessimpersonations
53. A 6 month clothing tag is apparently more of a 3 - 12 month suggestion.
54. Dogs really like pacifiers. And stuffed animals. And boob milk. And baby farts.
55. Baby giggles are pure heroin.
56. You don't need the crazy expensive "top of the line, organic, fell from the heavens" fill-in-the-blank gadget/ointment/towel/diaper/toy. Unless it's a cute outfit, then maybe.
57. That first solid-ish poop is absolutely horrifying and, astonishingly, a thing of great pride.
58. When the outfit is on point, Facebook deserves to know.
59. When the outfit is NOT on point, people feel I deserve to know.
60. On that note, everyone has an opinion. (Shout out to the airline stewardess for the advice on how not to strangle my baby!)
61. All the cliches are true. I seriously can't imagine life before these two nuggets.
62. I am absolutely, undeniably head-over-heels in love for these two little humans who I've known only for 4.5 months but really so many lifetimes before.
63. Babies open you up to meeting all kinds of interesting people you'd otherwise never encounter.
64. I'll say it again - two dads rock.
65. And, of course, I have the best husband, co-dad, ride-or-die, in the whole world.

All great lessons, but we're sure this list will be double by 8 months! Check back here for more crash-course lessons in fatherhood in the months to come. Check out Ryan's website here.

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The official, apparently, said she was beholden to rules set for in the Ministry of Economy.

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Read more about this story on Out Magazine.

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'Homosexuality is Wrong' Utah Teacher Tells Boy Who Gave Thanks for His Two Adoptive Dads

The substitute teacher went on to say two men living together is "sinful." She was fired shortly after.

To anyone with a heart, the moment should have done nothing more than bring a tear to the eye. Last week, just before the Thanksgiving break, a substitute teacher in a fifth grade class in Cedar Hills, Utah — just south of Salt Lake City — asked her students to name something they were thankful for this holiday season.

"I'm thankful for finally being adopted by my two dads," said Daniel, one of the boys, when it was his turn.

Rather than grab a tissue to dab her eyes, or ask the classroom to join her in a hearty round of applause to celebrate Daniel finding his forever family, the teacher took it upon herself to impart her personal religious beliefs onto the young boy. "Homosexuality is wrong," the teacher said in front of the class, adding that it was "sinful" for two men to live together.

The teacher, fortunately, was fired from Kelly Services, the substitute staffing company that employed her, quickly after the incident, but the moment is nonetheless receiving widespread attention in the press — no doubt in part because one of the boy's dads, Louis van Amstel of "Dancing With the Stars," posted a video clip to his 76,000 Twitter followers with the title: "Our child was bullied."

"It shouldn't matter if you're gay, straight, bisexual, black and white," he said to the New York Times in a follow up interview. "If you're adopting a child and if that child goes to a public school, that teacher should not share her opinion about what she thinks we do in our private life."

Louis also revealed that the moment may not have come to light were it not for three of his son's classmates, who told the principal about the teacher's bigoted comments. His son, Daniel, didn't want to report the incident for fear of getting the teacher into trouble.

Louis expressed thanks that the staffing company responded as quickly as it did following the incident — and also stressed that his neighbors and community have rallied behind he and his family in the days afterward, offering support. He wanted to dispel stereotypes that Utah, because of its social conservatism and religiosity, was somehow inherently prejudiced.

"It doesn't mean that all of Utah is now bad," he told the Times. "This is one person."

It's also true that this type of prejudice is in no way limited to so-called red states, and incidents like these happen daily. LGBTQ parents and our children are subjected to homophobic and transphobic comments in schools, hospitals, stores, airlines and elsewhere as we simply go about living our lives. These moments so often fly under the radar — many classmates don't have the courage, as they fortunately did in this case, to report wrongdoing. Some administrators are far less responsive than they were here — and most of us don't have 76,000 Twitter followers to help make these moments of homophobia a national story.

All that aside, let's also get back to what should have been nothing more than a heartwarming moment — Daniel, a fifth grade boy, giving thanks to finally being legally adopted into a loving family.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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