Surrogacy for Gay Men

P-Town Talks: Gay Dads Greg and Phillip, On the Importance of Being Close to Other LGBTQ Families

"I think it's very important," Greg told us during Family Week at P-town of the need to expose their kids to other LGBTQ families. "Growing up, they have always known there are other kids with same-sex families.

"We're from Texas which is very conservative," Greg told Gays With Kids during Family Week at P-town this year.

"So we do a lot of activities in Houston with other gay dads and gay families," added Phillip.

"We have a pool party at least one a year where we try to invite other gay dads and some lesbians too and try to get to know everybody."

Gay Adoption

This Gay Couple Opens Their Home to Kids at Risk of Aging Out of the Foster Care System

"I consider it my mission in life to adopt, and help others adopt" said Rich, who along with husband Ken adopted four teenage sons and now serves as the Associate Director for Family Focus Adoption Services.

"At first our decision was practical," said Rich Buley-Neumar about his decision to adopt older children. Neither he nor his husband Ken could afford to stay home with a baby, so they began investigating other options. "We came to the understanding that the age of the of the child didn't matter," said Rich, "it was their need for parents that mattered." So the dads set their sights on older children whose chances were running out and became fathers to four teenage boys.

With over 400,000 children in the United States foster care system, almost a third cannot be returned to their families and are waiting to be adopted. There are more males than females, and African American children are disproportionately represented.* Of the children waiting to be adopted on the AdoptUSKids website, 65% are between 13 and 19 years of age. Many will never be adopted and will age out of the system.

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Foster/Foster-Adopt

Adopted Himself, This Gay Man and His Husband Looked to the Foster Care System to Start Their Family

"I was adopted myself and had an amazing upbringing," shared Taylor, who became a gay dads along with husband Michael through the California Foster Care System. "I knew I wanted to do that for other children."

"It has changed drastically in the most inspiring and positive way," replied Taylor McGregor, when asked how life had changed since fatherhood. "We have learned to stop and take moments … we find ourselves spending more time as a family and less time on our phones and iPads!" Since 2016, Taylor and his husband, Michael Crocker have been proud dads to Jack through the California foster care system. Here's how they became a forever family.

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Gay Adoption

P-Town Talks: Gay Dads Mike and Steve, On the Importance of Honesty in an Adoptive, Bi-Racial Family

"Being two white dads with four black kids it's always been a part of our functioning as a family," Mike told us during Family Week at P-town this year, adding they prioritize conversations "about birth moms, race, and celebrating the beauty of our family."

"It's definitely something I always saw myself being, was a dad," Mike told us during Family Week in P-town this year. "Coming out as gay, that was one of my biggest struggles at the time was that I thought way back then that I could not be a dad if I was gay."

Four kids later? "Clearly I'm very gay and very much a dad."

Steve's advice for dads-to-be? "Three is enough!" he said, before quickly adding, "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"

Surrogacy for Gay Men

Surrogate for Gay Couple Pens Emotional Essay About Her Experiences

Lindsay Curtis penned an emotional essay for HuffPo Personal about her experiences serving as a traditional surrogate for a gay couple

In an emotional essay for HuffPost Personal, Lindsay Curtis writes about her experiences serving as a traditional surrogate in order to help a gay couple start their family. As she notes in her essay, traditional surrogacy, when the surrogate uses her own eggs to help conceive a child rather than use donor eggs, is much less common than gestational surrogacy, when the surrogate is not genetically related to the child.

Of her decision to serve as a traditional surrogate, Curtis writes: "In my early 20s, my maternal instinct went into overdrive and I felt a deep desire to get pregnant. I knew I wasn't ready to become a mother, as I was still in college and working part-time as a nanny. After watching a news segment on surrogacy one evening, I turned to my partner at the time and said, 'I want to do that.'"

As a lesbian, Curtis specifically wanted to help a male same-sex couple become dads. Within days of posting an ad online, she wrote, she heard from a gay couple who lived only three hours away.

"We exchanged a flurry of emails, talked for hours on the phone, met in person weeks later and within two months, I was pregnant with their child ― my biological daughter."

After Curtis gave birth, she says, she "I drove to my own home with empty arms and a broken heart."

The feeling of emptiness even led her to serve as a surrogate yet again. "Defying reason, I became a surrogate once more," she wrote, "giving birth only 15 months later to another healthy baby girl. Any therapist would tell you I was recreating trauma to gain some semblance of control over the situation the second time around.

Eventually, Curtis would give birth to her own daughter, named "Evelyn," which she notes means "wished for child." But she says her experiences as a traditional surrogate has left a lasting impact:

"Surrogacy changed the way I loved ― I became more guarded with my heart. It changed the way I saw mothers with their babies. At times, jealousy would overcome me as I watched mothers play with their toddlers in the park while I looked after the children I nannied. And although I had satiated my desire to experience pregnancy, my maternal instinct never quieted ― it only grew louder."

Read the whole essay here.

Gay Dad Life

P-Town Talks: Gay Dads Sean and Earl, On the Importance of Embracing Your Family's Uniqueness

"It's very obvious looking at our family that we're a little bit different," Earl told Gays With Kids at Family Week at P-town this year. "But we're just like everybody else."

"It's very obvious looking at our family that we're a little bit different," Earl told Gays With Kids at Family Week at P-town this year.

"We have several books that we've read to them since they were basically infants about different types of families, and that families come in all shapes and sizes and makeups," Sean added.

Sponsored

Broadway Husbands: Gain Knowledge, Give "Samples," and More in Latest Surrogacy Journey Vlog

Broadway husbands Stephen and Bret tell us about their 'Team Day' with Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut: an informational day for all Intended Parents beginning their surrogacy journey.

Broadway husbands Stephen and Bret recently attended Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut's (RMACT) informative 'Team Day.' It was an opportunity to meet all the professionals who would be involved in their surrogacy journey, from the nurse, to the social worker, to the geneticist, to Dr. Mark Leondires himself.

In this vlog chapter, Stephen and Bret will discuss their experience and interactions, what they learned from the day, and the process of giving their, ahem, "samples."

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Gay Dad Life

P-Town Talks: Gay Dad Seth, On the Importance of Normalizing Your Family

"She just needed a quick answer," Seth told us during Family Week at P-town this year, about a girl in his son's school who asked why he had two dads. "They don't see any differences amongst kids, until they're told."

"Soloman had a kid in his school when he was at a daycare we were at and she came up and was like, 'how does Soloman have two dads?'" Seth recounted for us when we caught up with him during Family Week at P-town this year.

"I was like, well, a lady gave birth to him and gave him to us, and that's how he was two dads. Isn't he so lucky?"

"She was like, 'yeah, bye!" and ran off. She just needed an answer! Like a quick answer."


Fatherhood, the gay way

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